FLASHES OF FUN

Evening Star, Issue 19062, 3 October 1925, Page 13

FLASHES OF FUN

First Chorus Girl: “Why do they any tlio ghost walks on pay day?” Second Ditto: “Because that’s the day our spirits rise.” * * * * Torn! “ If you refuse me I shall never love another woman.” Phyllis: “Does that promise stand good if I accept you?” » ■* • » “ I heard ye had words with Casey?” “We had no words.” “Then nothing passed between ye?” “ Nothing but one brick.” * v * * “ Were you bashful the first time you called on a girl?” “ Why. yes, but her father helped mo out;- # # „ Mother: “Good gracious 1 How did you got so muddy?”_ Small Son; “ ilunnin’ home to see if there was anything you wanted me to do.” • • « • “Jock, wull ye dine wi’ mo tae-raor-row nicht?” “Aye, Sandy, I wull.” “ Guid. Eight o’clock—at yuir hooso.” # « * » “ Jimmy thinks he’ll make his stage debut in ‘ Hamlet ’1” “Aye, laddie—a hamlet would be •the best place. Tbe smaller the bettor.” * ill & » Employer: “You asked me for half a day off and you took the whole day.” Employee; ‘ But you 'have always taught mo not to do things by halves.” «• » » # Hewitt: “Are you a believer In vaccination ?” Jewett: “ Most certainly. It kept my daughter from playing the piano for nearly a week.” * * a * Little Jessie (who has been much interested in collecting butterflies) asked her pa one day: “if butterflies couldn’t fly and couldn’t do anything but walk, we’d have to call them butter-walkers, wouldn’t we?” * « « * “ The doctor said that whenever I drink tea 1 should make it weak.” “And do you?” ‘ ‘ Indeed, 1 do. I weaken it with rum.” * * « * * 4 T 1 wireless Is just like the row f s me a id the misses have.” “ I'ow's that?” “ It’s words • over nothing.” # ■» » « Employer (finding his clerk asleep at the desk) : “ Look here, Myers, you can clear- out at the end of the month.” Clerk (peevishly): “Well, you needn’t have wakened me so soon for that I” * * * Soldier: “Will you promise to be eternally true to me?” Servant Girl; “ Eternally 1 How can anybody promise for so long as that?” Soldier; “Well, say three weeks til! the reserves are disbanded.” * -a * * She: “ You said you would do anything for me, Charlie.” He (fervently): “I would, darling.” She: “ W T ell, you know how frightfully red my hair is. I want you to dye yours red, just to keep me in countenance 1” * * » Under the maim entrance of a church a poor woman, shivering with cold and holding a baby in her arms, appealed to the charity of_ the passers-by. “ Why, your infant is of pasteboard!” said a gentleman, as he tapped its nose, which sounded hard and resonant. “ Oh, I beg your pardon, sir. It is so cold, I left the real one at homo.” * * * * He was introduced to me and called me “Miss Mabel.” Half an hour later he called me “ Mabel.” Ho took me out and called me “ Kid.” During our engagement ho called me “ Sweetie.” On our honeymoon ho called mo “ Tootsmns.” Six months after the marriage he called me “Dear.” After five years he calls me—“ Hey, you!”