FLASHES OF FUN

Evening Star, Issue 19050, 19 September 1925, Page 17

FLASHES OF FUN

“Your room is very low.” “ Yes, when my hair stands on end I can almost clean the ceiling.” % * * » “ You're looking well to-day.” “ I’ve got to look well. I’m looking for a man w r ho owes me five pounds.” » * -ft il Hoax: “Do you believe that thirteen in an unlucky number?” Joax: “Well, all the people who lived in the thirteenth century are dead.” « • * # “ Grandpapa,” said Tommy, examining critically the bald head of his ancestor, “may I ask you a question?” “ Certainly, Tommy.” “Do you comb your head with a razor?” » « * « AVaiter: “How do you like your eggs ? ’ ’ 'Customer: “Not hard; about three minutes’ boiling will do; but bo as quick as you can,” Waiter: “ All right, sir, you shall have them in half a minute 1” « » * * “ The only horse I know anything about is the clothes-horse,” said a woman witness recently. “That’s the one to put your shirt on.” * * * * “ That novelist says he took his characters from real life.” “Ho should he encouraged to keep on taking them,” replied Air Growcher. “ The fewer like them in real life, the better.” » * * • Air Phiz: “ Are you aware, my dear, that both my stockings are full of holes?” Airs Phiz: “Yes, love. I thought it better not to have them darned. 1 read in the 1 Ladies’ Adviser ’ Hint ! Plenty of ventilation is one of the first requisites in a well-regulated household.’ ” . , * * * o He: “Yon look very pale this evening, mademoiselle.” She: “ Tell mo something to make me blush 1” « # » * “What is a conjunction?” asked the teacher. “That which joins together/ was Hie prompt reply. “ Give an illustration,” said the teacher. ... , , The up-to-date girl hesitated and blushed. “The marriage service,” she said at last.

A man once sent 5s to a firm for a contrivance which, it was declared, would keep his bills down. It did, too; it was a paper weight. * * * * “ Biddy,” said an Irishman to the girl of his heart, “ did ycr ivor think o’ marry in’?” “ Shore, now,” replied Biddy, looking demurely at her shoe—“ shuro, now, the subject has never entered me mind at all, at all!” “ It’s sorry Oi am,” said the suitor as ho turned to depart, “ Wan minute, Pat,” said Biddy, softly, “ye’ve set me thhikin’l”