ONLY CHILD PROBLEM

Evening Star, Issue 19026, 22 August 1925, Page 21

ONLY CHILD PROBLEM

SELF-HELP AND INDEPENDENCE

The following article, which appeared in a London daily, has attracted Considerable attention and

provoked an animated controversy. The problem of the only child is one on which psychologists, educationists, and theorists of various sorts are never tired of airing them views. Some go as far as to assort that an only child has no chance of growing up into a perfectly normal human being. Others more full of sentiment than of learning lavish sympathy \upon the only child because of his supposed loneliness. ’ As a matter of fact, loneliness is less the foe of the only child than the undue amount of parental attention which is usually his lot. A mother who has an only babe is often very unwilling to let her one precious treasure out of her sight for a single instant. She is apt to take,' him with her wherever she goes, and on many tiring trips, such as longday excursions that tie would be muon hotter without. Ho accompanies his mother when she visits her friends, and listens, round-eyed and agog with curiosity, to the .grown-up conversation. And if he interjects some precocious remark his sally is hailed with laughter and acclamation. He feels himself to be an important and amusing person, a state of mind bad for a child, and sure to lead to pertness, impudence, and disobedience sooner or later.

Only children are often quicker and brighter at their lessons than members of big families. They learn to read younger, and they read more probably from lack of companionship. But as they grow up they frequently show great reluctance to face life for themselves. They do not want to leave the parental roof, they like to be near home, they develop into “mamma’s apron-string hoys and girls,” Too often they display a morbid jealousy of one or both of their parents, a jealousy which is especially apparent should a baby brother or sister arrive after some years to dispute their supremacy in the nursery. One cannot really blame the only child for his faults, which arise, not from loneliness or unhappiness, but from too much petting and from haring an undue amount of attention bestowed on him.

All children should be -taught_ to have their own interests quite distinct from those of their parents, to do and make things for themselves, but most of all should jthe only child learn the truth of the old saving: “ Every tub should stand on its own bottom.” The wise mother will begin in early babyhood teaching her only little one the lessons of self-help and Independence. .She will realise that a child must use his hands, and that it is not in the host interests of the child, although it is well-meant, to help him with his play. If his brick tower tumbles down, let him learn- by experience how to built it more securely. Let him always do his own level best to work out his little problems before volunteering help. Let that help, when it isnecessary; he as brief and as practical as possible . Do not make it an excuse for appropriating the poor child’s toys, in order to play with them yourself, while he looks on.

And if possible, arrange for him to bare a place, other than the room in which you are giving a tea party, for him to play in undisturbed. This is not always’ easy in small houses and flats, but’it can often be contrived. Much of the nerve strain suffered by mothers is due to their unwillingness to let their children play without assistance. This interference with a child’s play leads inevitably to peevishness and boredom on the part of the child. It is the impulse to do things, and to make things which causes a child to build sand castles and brick pyramids. And if we lot him alpne he will be happy and contented in his little achievements.