FLASHES OF FUN

Evening Star, Issue 19026, 22 August 1925, Page 15

FLASHES OF FUN

“Don’t you know the difference between the minor and the major scales?” “Yes; the minor sounds worse than tho major.” K< * * * “So yon are going to marry. Have you anything laid by?” “ Yes; I’ve got a rich uncle laid by with an illness of some sort, and I’m the only surviving relative.” « * * • Old Gentleman: “So you are going to school now, are you, Bobby?” Bobby (aged six) : “ Yes, sir.” Old Gentleman: “Spell kitten for mo.” Bobby: “ Oh, I’m farther advanced than that. Try me on cat.” * * » * Miss Jones: “I’m not going to have anything to do with you. Your father keeps a pawnbroker’s shop.” Miss Brown: “ And I’m not going to have anything to do with you, because I saw your father coming out of it!” «''*** Housewife: “ But aro you sure he’s highly bred?” Wayfarer: “’lghly bred! Why, mum, ter get the best bout of this little dog ycr husband will ’ave tor wear spats an’ a tall ’at!” * « » * “ Do you believe that the good die young?’ 5 * “ I should say they did, if all my wife tolls me about her first husband is true.” * » » « Miss Muggy: “I wonder if George knows I have money?” Dear Friend: “Has he proposed?” Miss Muggy: “He has.” Dear Friend: “He knows.” * * * * Wife (tearfully) ; “ You’ve broken the promise you made me.” Husband (kissing her) : “ Never mind, my dear, don’t cry; I’ll make you another.” v » * « “Well, here is the money you've been tormenting me for,” said a rich uncle to his spendthrift nephew-, “Pro it w-isely, and remember that a fool and his money are soon parted.” “ I don’t know about that,” said the young scapegrace; ‘ ‘ I’ve been coaxing you more than a week for this.” # # * * ' , She: “Faint heart never won a fair lady, you know.” Ho: “True. I fear I shall never muster up courage to propose.” »She: “But, then, ladies aro not all fair. I’m a decided brunette.” » * » » Izzy: “What is the difference between ammonia and pneumonia?” Dizzy; “Search me.” Izzy; “Why, ammonia comes in bottles and pneumonia comes in chests.”, * # * * Frank; “When yon proposed to her I suppo.se she said ‘ This is so sudden.’ ” Ernest: “No; she was honest and said ‘The suspense lias been terrible Jr.” * * * * A dog w-as advertised to play the piano, and when the time arrived for the dog to go through his performance lie mounted the stool and began playing. Thereupon one of the audience, prompted by incredulity, mixed perhaps with mischief, called out “Rats!” This caused the dog to run away from the scat.—hut tho piano kept on playing. *. * * * “Are yon there, pa?” said the undergrad, on the long-distance telephone. “ I was beginning to get worried about that cheque I wrote to you for ■” “Don’t worry about it, my boy,” replied his father; “ it’s safe.” “Ah!” “Yes, safe in my cheque hook. Good-bye!” « «■ « « “Wat’s that ugly colored piece of paper hanging there on the wall?,” “That’s a relief map.” “Well, take it down. It, don’t relievo. my feelings any.” “ That new porter of yours seems to ho a mighty hard worker,” said a man to a. shopkeeper. “Yes,” replied the latter; “that’s just his specialty.” , “ What—working?” “No—seeming to.”