CURSING OF CAPITAL

Evening Star, Issue 19003, 27 July 1925, Page 1

CURSING OF CAPITAL

Tho following is taken from Mr Henry Van Dyke’s ‘ I lalf-told Tales,’ in 1 1 lai'per's Magazine':— “ all Capitalists,” remarked Vortex witli that impropriety of speech which often connotes an ardent. spirit. “Sure,” said Simplex, “but how is it going to bo done?” Simplex was an old I’resbyicrian I plumber of the hit-or-miss type, a, (inn believer in predestination, who swore only in the language of the imprecatory Psalms. Vortex was a young proletarian plumber’s helper who cursed IVfely hy the names of things ho professed not to believe in. His particular arduous labor was to hold the electric torch or to saunter back to the shop to fetch forgotten tools, while his chief smoked a, pipe in the bathroom at two dollars and a-half per hour. “Them capitalists made the Big ’War,’ said Vortex, “just to get rich out of it.” “Sure,” said Simplex, “that’s when our pay went up. Sellish rascals! Let them be set in slippery places and cast down to destruction. But who is going to do it?” “ Iks,” cried Vortex, “ the proletariat! Our toil and sufl’eriu’ is the cornerstone of them fellers’ yachts. A man ain't got no right to nothin’ hut what ho makes with his hands. Ain’t that so?” “ ft seems so to me,” answered Simplex, looking at his rolled-gold watch to see whether the hour to knock off work had not come. “But I say, old man,” continued Vortex, “1 wanna hurra 5(IOdol. I gotta liny a Ford. You got money in the hank, ainclicr?” “Sure,” said Simplex complacently, “ I’ve got about thirteen thousand in the hank. I’ll loan you five hundred at 7 pei' cent., with a- mortgage on your house. AA’iJL that do?” “ Righto !” fried Vortex. “You’re n good feller”—and ho clapped the old man on the hack. “’Well,” said Simplex, “according to Scripture, none of us is any better than he ought (o ho. But the people with capital arc the worst of all. Tinware thieves and robbers, an abomination to the .Lord. We sons of toil will got them, and they shall go down into the pit.”