BY THE WAY

Evening Star, Issue 18785, 8 November 1924, Page 2

BY THE WAY

(By Q. V.]

“ The time has come/' the Walrus said, “To talk of many things.” No ono likes a thrashing, so we may say with certainty that Mr Ramsay MacDonald and his friends are feeling rather sore just now. When Time, the healer, has attended to their cases, they will feel much better, and find that being out of office has also its delights. They will ho free to criticise the new Government os much as they like, which will be quite a lot. They will explain away their own shortcomings. “How could wo clear up the gigantic muddle left hy our predecessors in a few short months?" will be a. favorite line of argument. Mr Baldwin will be quite a busy man. “Mr Chancellor, just see how much is left in the petty cash box.” “Where is that Foreign Office man ? Tell him that the Russian Treaty is not likely to be needed. He had better get the office boy to tear it up for scribbling paper. It is a pity to waste anything these hard times.” “Telephone over to the Admiralty and ask them to have another look at the suburbs _ of Singapore; I think we have some sections there which might come in useful.” “ Send a memo, to the police instructing them to have that chap Campbell dumped into a dungeon. I don’t know much about him, but lie is an editor anyway.” “Let the Stock Exchange know that a levy on capital is not in the picture, and the small investor may come out of his burrow and be shot at between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m.” “Send a circular letter to all crowned heads, Presidents, and rulers generally, telling them that wo wish to maintain the most friendly relations with them consistent with our getting as much as wo can for ourselves.” Meantime, tho pound sterling is worth about' a penny more than it was a few days ago. It does not sound much, but means a good deal to tho man who lias heavy bills to meet in Hew York. * * ¥■ * " Flour may be. a dry commodity, but it has caused a learned judge, a battery of lawyers (including three King’s Counsel), an army of witnesses, a number of Government departmental officials, and court officers to sit for over a, week discussing the way it should be distributed, its quality, and various other matters concerning it. The publig, too, lias shown more than a passing interest in it, and has attended the Supremo Court in larger numbers than at any civil case for some years. 'The case has been well discussed in tramcars and other places; judgment has already been given in some instances; and one person was-heard to remark that, after reading tho evidence, bo had decided to eat no more bread. Not for a long time, too, have so many women been seen in the court: some of them sat in the. gallery for hours at a time listening to argument' and evidence. Probably they were thinking that a good housewife would have been tho proper person to enlighten the court regarding the quality of flour. The mass of evidence in the case was distressingly dull, but occasionally a witness or counsel provided some saving humor. The court smiled when ono witness affirmed that of a certain consignment of flour he had received (he “ biggest half ” was .such-and-such a, brand. The nomenclature of Otago and Southland place? provided a learned counsel from tho north with the opportunity for a protest that he had never heard of such places, and that the evidence appertaining to them was irrelevant anyhow. A local legal luminary happily suggested that the evidence should be admitted, if for no other reason than to teach Mr So-and-So some Olago geography. # # * «• When Cicsar in the heyday of hie glory Wrote ‘ Veni, Vidi, Viol,’ lie created A precedent which now is reckoned hoary By not a few campaigners emulated— Napoleon, Napier, Roberts, and Suwarrow. Will Fay and Raven do tho same tomorrow ? They “came,” but not like C.nsar, riding lightly, Behind Ins marching legions o’er the plain; Theirs a more startling fashion, .infinitely. More swift and regal, in a special train— Came and were gone, almost ere they wore noted, Their speed, a record, will for years be quoted.

They “flaw” between, the tunnel and the cutting A flitting glimpse of gully or of vale— A river bend, a promontory jutting, And little wooden hamlets by the rail. Vignettes of stumps, of fences, and of greenery Will make them experts on New Zealand scenery. They “ conquered ” time and distance, it ie true, And smatterings of Maori nomenclature— Paikakariid, Ohau, Timaru, Ngahauranga, and expletives of like nature, With which to garnish their expert opinion About the railways of the whole dominion. In point of fact the whole affair is silly, This tearing round and hearing deputations ; For facts they only had to ask MWilly, And from statistics take their calculations. Their great report, when the whole tale is told, Will be like Hilcy’s, Simply Pigeon Holed. * * * *

The Presbytery does not like the idea of tire “ Mammoth Art Union ” which is now busily extracting half-crowns from the apparently most unpromising material. For its organisation the reverend gentlemen expressed a reluctant admiration; “e’en the ranks of Tuscany could scarce forbear to cheer” ; but the principle—it is anathema. “It was a sad thing,” said the Rev. Mr Trotter, “that an appeal could not be made to the benevolence of the people instead of appealing to their love of pleasure and gain.” Probably Mr Trotter is hero on common ground with Major Lampen and bis associates. The latter, however, are well aware that the appeal to benevolence returns about Idwt to the ton, while the pleasure and gain lode runs 10 to 20 or more ounces according to the method of extraction. The acquisition of cash, for nothing if possible, is a form of self-preservation, and selfpreservation ie fundamental. From a financial point of view the art unioners are on the right track. Ethically one is not quite so sure. The Rev. Mr Tulloch Yuillo says that art unions are “morally festering”—a strong expression. At any rate, the sporting or misguided persons who invest in a chance will purchase many delightful <tay dreams. “ What could 1 do with £1',000?” It is an alluring thought. Wo shed many illusions with the yeans, as snakes s.re said to shed their skins, but the illusion that money is most desirable persists to the last. Where did you say one could buy a ticket? « . «' « # Oh, the tenacity of ancient custom! The memory of Guido Fawkes, that unfortunate gentleman who unsuccessfully tried “ direct action ” 300 odd years ago, yet lingers in the unsophisticated minds of the small boys of Dunedin. Roving bands of them, clad in quaint raiment, mystic, wonderful, invaded even the,, principal streets on„the fateful sth. Probably Guido never _ imagined that he would be reincarnated in the form of a small cowboy or decked in a battered belltopper. Naturally there are not so many of these survivals here as in their ancestral home. Nevertheless it was not uncommon a few years ago to sec in Hobart, most old world of Australasian towns, a kerosene tin pierced with holes, and containing a lit candle. Reside it would be seated a small urchin, who, after an appraising glance at your benevolent face, would invito you to “remember the grotto.” What grotto, and why should we remember it? The small boy did not know. To him it was merely

a possible source of pennies. The custom goes hack to, pre-Reformatiou days. It was then,the “swanky ” thing to make a pilgrimage to tho shrine of St. James the Great at Santiago de Compostclla. But Spain, was a long way away and travelling costly, uncomfortable, and not too safe. So tile impecunious, the ease-loving, and the timid dropped their obligations in shrines conveniently erected for that purpose in tiie local church and streets. At first sight there does not seem to be much connection between St. James (lie Great and the Standard Oil Company, or Santiago de Compostella and the dingy capital of Tasmania; but isn’t there some proverb about extremes meeting? ***•*• Dr Campbell Begg, of Wellington, is one of those hardy wights who ‘do not fear to stir up a hornet’s nest. He made some derogatory remarks concerning the efficiency of the hospitals in this dominion which lie could hardly-have-hoped would be taken lying down. However conscious of the shortcomings of oilier hospitals, each district is firmly convinced of the excellence of its own. Most of the comments on Dr Begg's strictures are in a tone of pained surprise. They emieavo* to create an impression that he lias rushed in where angels would fear to tread. Public bodies, however, are seldom Hie woisa for ft little criticism. If unjust it uthuds thorn an excellent opportunity of explaining their merits to tl;? folk who .support them. If just it stirs them up (o mend their ways. As for the present ease, it would be a bold, or more. likely foolish, layman who would speak dogmatically “ Ours not to make reply. Ours Iml to pay and ” The rest of the quotation seems a trifle invidious. One thing wo may be sure of. No human institution ia 100* per cent, efficient. There is always room for improvement, even in the. bcsU regulated hospitals.