NATHANIAL AND THE VAMP

Evening Star, Issue 18714, 16 August 1924, Page 15

NATHANIAL AND THE VAMP

[By " E.G.L.P.” In the ‘ Sunday Chronicle.’] When Nathanial Higgs left his ancestral home in Dudport en route to London for the first time in his life on business connected with an unexpected legacy, his wife, Emily Maud Higgs, evinced no signs of alarm, for Nathaniel was what is technically known as a good, steady man. Add the words stolid and phlegmatic, and yoy have Nathanial’s character in a nutshell. In addition, ho had the imagination of a dead codfish plus the instinctive virtue of Miss Cockles, tho village spinster. He had been married ten years, and had never kissed another woman in his life but Emily Maud, and he had not put in much overtime on Emily Maud’s mouth, which was of the variety made for eating with rather than osculation.

Knowing Nathanial’s reputation, Emily Maud felt she need not have any qualms about the morals of her husband, even when let loose in the maelstrom of wickedness of which London is commonly credited to be composed.

WELL ARMED. Nathanial had been well initialed by his relatives into tho various devices employed by city people for relieving the unsuspecting stranger of his hard-earned savings. There was the gentleman in the railway carriage on the journey up to town who tentatively suggested that a bored traveller might while away the weary hour or two by “ finding the lady.” Nathanial had rehearsed his witty reply to these gentry —that women were too plentiful in Dudport for a man to bother finding them in railway carriages. Emily Maud and Uncle Jem roared with laughter ©very time Nathanial repeated his bon mot, which was often.

If well-dressed strangers strolled up to Nathanial in his private hotel near Euston station, bed and breakfast two-and-six, offering to conduct him to a baccarat salon, where tho stakes were high and the ladies’ dresses low, ho would take tho breeze out of their top-gall’nt-s‘l by briefly stating that his old father had forbidden cards, and he still held to the teaching of bis unsullied boyhood. A drugged cigarette would be useless, as bo didn’t smoke, and he couldn’t be made drunk, for the simple reason that he was a strict teetotaller, and had signed a statement vowing never to touch the thriceaccursed stuff. The lure of the night club would fail to charm Nathanial Higgs, as.ho always fell asleep automatically at 9.30, and theatres and music-halls were things of abhorrence to him.

Briefly, Nathanial was .uncommonly wide awake to everything, and he felt, aiid the entire village felt, that the person, male or female, who managed to put it across the solid son of Dudport would have to get up long before morning, in the bowl of light, had flung the stone that puts the stars to flight, or words to that effect. The journey to London was singularly dull. Nothing happened except a curt request for a match from a brazen hussy who was smoking and smuggling a terrier pup through without a ticket. When he stolidly ignored her, she rudely inquired if he was deaf, adding that, judging by the size of his ears, she wouldn’t nave thought so. Nathanial hurriedly passed her the boxful.

A week passed. Nathanial’s business was almost finished. No one had attempted to entice his money from him by a falso promise of something for nothing. The gam-ing-house touts were conspicuous only by their absence, and not a soul had offered him a free drink or a free smoke. In fact, no one had spoken to him at all. The visit of Nathanial Higgs had left London cold.

Nathanial was candidly annoyed. He felt London had not given him a square deal. He put it down partly to the London clothes he was wearing. Dressed in a well-cut town suit of large black-and-white check, which had cost him two-pounds-ten ready made, and which fitted him like a glove (the kind of glove that is too long in tho fingers and too tight across the knuckles), a silk hatpurchased with a view to possible future Dudport funerals, a lemon waistcoat with a tasty pattern of green apples growing on a pinlc tree, a red tie with white spots, brown boots, green seeks, a blue shirt with a black stripe, and white kid gloves (which would be useful afterwards at smart weddings), he proudly felt that there was not another man dressed like him in the whole of London. If there was, Nathanial hadn’t seen him.

Probably he looked too much the man about town for crooks to bother with, which was all to the good, of course, but left him with a curious, unsatisfied hankering to match his wits against the best of them. There was nothing to startle Dudport with on his return. And he was a strictly truthful man, which was a handicap.

And then Nathanial Higgs met The Vamp. They were both sitting at opposite ends of a tramcar. She was plump and rather buxom, smartly dressed in a closely-fitting blue coat and skirt, with thin silk stockings and high-heeled patent shoes. Her feet were fascinatingly small. Her complexion was distinctly attractive—paint, of course, thought tho sophisticated Nathanial. All London women painted. Their glances met—his unmoved arid critical? hers, long, lingering, and distinctly inviting. ‘ Her eyes were long and green, instead of being small, round, and a watery blue like Emily Maud’s. Nathanial pushed tho mental picture of h’s wife from his mind with a feeling of irritation. The strange woman half-smiled again. Nathanial blushed and looked away.

Suddenly realisation came to him. She was a vamp I Vamps (Ihc ones ho had read about) always wore silk stockings and smiled at strange men. Their eyes were green, and they painted their faces to make themselves more beautiful, in which latter object they succeeded. At least, this shining example did. ANTICIPATION. She smiled openly and dropped her eyes with pretended diffidence, and suddenly Nathaniel’s heart began to beat violently. Here was adventure with a capital A, not the kind of adventure lie had anticipated, not the kind of adventure lie could boast of in Dudport, but still . . , Two people got out, and she moved two seats nearer Nathanial, Nathanial with madly beating pulses, Nathanial thrilled as he had never been thrilled in his life. He wondered what it would bo like to talk to a real vamp. Perhaps sbo would want him to take her to an expensive place_ to eat. That would cost money. Something told him that a first-class vamp w.ould not be content with Lyon’s or an A.B.C. Ho recklessly decided that expense was no object.

Three more passengers alighted, and tho Vamp moved opposite. Panic seized him. He thought of Uncle Jem, Miss Cockles, his vow to his father never to lead a dissolute life, his dear old village home, and finally Emily Maud. That decided him. He realised how he had never loved her. At last Fate had given him a chance of seeing life. The fat man sitting on his right got out. Nathanial’s head swam.

REALISATION. Without hesitation the Yamp moved over and seated herself next to him- He broke out in a cold perspiration. . Slio opened her attache case and smiled at him suggestively. He almost swooned as she spoke. Miles away he heard the words that issued from her alluring mouth: “ Could I interest you m these ' sock suspenders? I notice your hose is not as well fixed as it might be. They are the cheapest suspends on the market. Guaranteed not to tear holes or let the sock wrinkle. One-and-three a pair. The celebrated ‘ Vamp ’ brand. Thank you so much. Good-morning.” - In a dream Nathanial watched her turn the comer. The tram moved on.