FLASHES OF FUN

Evening Star, Issue 18333, 21 July 1923, Page 16

FLASHES OF FUN

Father (seriously): “My hoy, don't you think it's . about time for you to stand alone?” Son (cheerfully) ; “ All right, dad. I can stand a loan any time.” * # * » " Good morning, my dear.” “ Really, Henry, you must pull yourself together. 'I said good morning to you last night when you came home.” * * * * 11 I can’t think why they chose the stork to be coupled with the doctor. Why not the eagle or the owl?” “ Well, the stork is the bird with the biggest bill, you see.” • * * * Insurance Agent (to applicant): “Can you tell me what vour grandparents died of?" “ Well, not exactly. I know, though, it wasn’t anything very serious.” • # » * * " Herbert,” said the teacher, “ answer this: Do we eat the flesh of the whale?” “ Yes, sir,” said Herbert. ? " And what do wo do with the bones?” “ We leave them on the side of our plate, sir.” * * * * Little Gert: “I wonder why ships get christened in wine?” Little Bert; "I ’speck ’cos they spend the rest of their lives in water,” * # * * Magistrate; “Has this chauffeur ever taken you for a joy ride ?” Mr Blight: “No, sir, but he drove me to church when I was married.” « # * « District Visitor: “And what is your profession, my good man?” Husky Bill: “I’m a picker, ma’aju.” D.V.; “A picker? I don’t quite understand.” Husky Bill: “Well, it’s like this, ma’am. I pick fruit in the summer, hops in autumn, pockets in winter, an’ oakum in spring,” The teacher had been giving a lesson on the reindeer—its haunts, habits, and uses. " One little chap was not paying the slightest attention, so the teacher pounced on him. “ Now, what is the use of the reindeer?” she asked him. The startled youngster looked up, paused, and then replied; “Please, miss, it makes things grow.” » * * -» The mathematical professor became engaged to a charming girl, and one day they made an excursion into tho country with a picnic party. The girl picked a daisy, and, looking roguishly at her' fiancee, began to pull off the “petals, saying: “He loves me, he loves mo not; he loves me,” etc. “ You are giving yourself needless trouble.” said the precise professor. “You should count up the petals of the flower, and if the total is an even number tho answer will be in the negative; if an uneven number, in the affirmative.”