WIT AND HUMOR

Evening Star, Issue 18093, 7 October 1922, Page 13

WIT AND HUMOR

ON HIS OWN. Tho dog stole cautiously into the butcher’s shop and bolted with a large piece of meat. The butcher raged. "Is that your dog?” he roared at a man passing by. “Well,” replied the man, "he was once, hut he seems to be doing for himself now.”

REALISM VERSUS ROMANCE. Mike Murphy was very popular in the works. Even the boss would stop and crack a Joke with him. One day he met Mike. "Morning, Mike!” he said. “I hear that lately you’ve taken quite a fa*rcy for the girls.” Mike blushed and sniggered. “Have you met yarn' fato yet?” went on the boss. “ Share and begorrah, sir,” exclaimed Mike, ruefully. “I met wan av her father’s fate last night! ” WHICH KIND? “Where’s the bar?” asked a disreput-able-looking stranger of a waiter at a south coast hotel tho other day. “ What kind of a bar? ” asked the latter. "Why,- a liquor bar, of course; what do you suppose I mean?” “Well,” drawled the waiter, "I didn’t know bat what you might mean a bar of soap.” NO DOUBT. The argument started with the soup, progressed during the fish, swelled visibly when the joint came, until at dessert husband and wife were so thoroughly indignant that they could continue no longer. “ I don’t know what would happen, Paul, if you over agreed with me on any subject,” she finally said plaintively, He looked at her, and sighed bitterly. “I’d ha wrong,” ho said—"l’d be wrong 1 ” WERE THEY WORTH IT? Fiye-ycar-old William was standing in the kitchen with hjs eye upon a dish of cakes when his mother came in and found him, "What are you doing here, William?” said she. "I was just thinking, mother,” replied the youngster. “Thinking? Well, I hope you haven’t touched those cakes.” " That’s what I was thinking about,” came the ready answer, " I was wondering whether they were good enough to be v/hipped for.” A LONG VIGIL. Patrick did not usually wait before he attacked his food. But one day his mother noticed that -ho was sitting resignedly before his plate of beef. “ Come along, dear,” she said. “ Aren’t you hungry?” "Yes, mummy; very,” "Then why don’t you start?” " Oh,” said little Pat, “ I’m just waiting for the mustard to cool,”