THE LIGHTER SIDE OF PRISON LIFE.

Evening Star, Issue 13092, 27 October 1908, Page 2

THE LIGHTER SIDE OF PRISON LIFE.

[By Long Sentence.] DOCTOR AND WARDER. 111. A well-known landmark in the prison was the late 0r Philsnn. Constantly was it said of him: " Men may come and men may go, ■ but he'll go on for ever." For ovar forty years was he gaol surgeon; every morning of the week, at eight- o'clock sharp, except Suudays, was his walking stick heard tapping inc gtotimt as he 'walked across the yard to the dispensary, where he saw the men. The ofel gentleman was naturally kind; he used w stand behind a table, with a row of hottles on a shelf. behii£t him, containing various decoctions, some of which were highly palatable, .and greatly appreciated. The men came in one at a time. He would look at them. "Well," he would say. " Bitters, doctor, ■ please," or cough mixture, or chjorodyne and something, would be demanded.' Usually they were promptly served, and out they went. Sometimes there might be a little chaff on the doctor's part, as: "'Mind, j'ou are ' prescribing for yourself, and 1 don't take any responsibility." If only a few turned up, it was usually remarked that the old doctor looked down in the mouth, as trade was decreasing. If anyone really needed attention, he was alert "and prompt; and would go there at any hour of rhe day or night. Once a prison official remonstrated with him about giving drugs to men who did not need them. He replied: " What I give them won't hurt them; they are prisoners, and don't get any butler with their bread." If twenty different mixtures were given out, the same glass was used unwashed. If chlorodyne and bitters were issued first, it was all right; but if there was the bad luck of somebody asking for cod or castor oil. it spoilt the flavor of what followed, and there would be a genera! growl. The doctor was very fond of using iodine. There was a well-known stump of a brush, without a hair on it, that was dabbed here, there, and everywhere, and was a constant. I source of small differences. •' No. no, doctor.'' you would hear a man say: " I won't have it in my mouth." " Quite safe." the doctor would say; "the iodine kills all Serins, and taste is a matter of imagination." "That's all right, doctor, but I know where you used it on Bill Jones, and it's not g-jinc into my mouth after that." "You have got me into a nice row," he said to a man one morning. "There was a man publicly preaching against me on the wharf yesterday for giving you alcohol." There was a friendly pat on the shoulder—"That won't stop it if I think you need it." I'p to the last the old gentleman retained some of the inclinations and habits of his student days. He perfectly revelled in postmortems, anrl when a man died in the prison the doctor was worth seeing. Well do I remrntber his wandering about the prison—hatlcss, in his shirt "sleeves, in an awful mi?;; he had a surgeon's knife of some kind in one hand, and an ordinary carving fork in the other, with a man's heart stuck on it. He was anxious to prove to someone ho cause of death. This episode was fol.owrd hy someone declaring the doctor had ivtighed the heart on the "same scales used for weighing out the dinners—result," some dinners not eaten, and sundry comolaint3 to the gaoler. Those who saw the doctor year after year had a great respect and sincere 'king for him. » The last story brings up another. The :cmains of some men buried within the vails were being removed. Every care was aken: but. as most of the coffins had retted away, some small pieces of bone were dropped. Thare are some prisoners who will believe anything, and someone reported that the cook had collected these pieces of bone, and put them in the soup. Again a number of dinners were untouched. A member of the blue-coated division. (warders), who was a source of never-ending' discussion, was an old gentleman known to everyone as "James." 'Formerly a soldier, he had been many years in the prison servxe, and was quite a character. He was shrewd, kindly, with all those characteristics which mark the Irish. A fellow-countryman, whom he had known for a long time, had got into some trouble, and was much \lp3et at being sent to prison. It was part of Waider James's duty to superintend his introduction to the prison uniform, and to see that his hair was cut and that he bathed. " Ah, Nolan, me poor man," said old James '' it's sorry lam to see ye here! Don't take 011 so. now: it's a dacent man ye are." To the prison barber, in a sharp, authoritative voice: " Cut that man's hair shorter, Knox; ye are laving it too long." Soothingly to Nolan: "Minny's the time wc'v3 met in the marning "oing to 'St. Pat's" to early mass. It's a good Catholic ye are. Nolan." More sharply to the barber: "Who told ye to lave that man his moustache? Take u air at onct. Ye've been in here times enough to know the rigilations widout me teliin' ye. Whin a man gits a sintince, ivry part av him belongs to the Government. What they will do wid Nolan's hair I don't know: but it's got to come arf. So art" wid his moustache at onct, or I'll run ve before the gaoler, I will." To Nolan (confidentially, with a knowing wink): "Listen to me, Nolan, me boy. Jisi ye go along quietly; ye'll soon git used to it. An' whin ye do, ye'll rind it beant half a bad place: and. betwane oursilves, I'll give ye a tip now an' agin that'll kape ye shtrnight." He then sidled off to an invalid prisoner 111 a chair. "Brown," said he, "what do ye think of that man? Listen to me now! Whin people brake the law, this is just wherq they ought to be. There's Nolan there! I've no faling for him; he's in his. "lght place, he is. Betwane oursilves, if he'd got his deserts, he'd 'av bin here ion"' a-;o." ' "You surprise me." said Brown. "From what he said. I thought he was a friend of yours. il r James." ;• Frind av mine, indade! Did he say that now? I would not 'av him inside me house. I'll tache him." Hair-cutting finished. Sharply: "Attinshun! Nolan, shtand up at onct and salute yer suparior." Eyes him all over. "It's a fine suit av clothes ye have on, Nolan, an' ir becomes ye well. I wonder ye nivir had" it before. It's a long time since ye had Mich a clane face. Its Mrs Nolan herself wouldn't know ye now. From the looks av ye. ye'd be the better av a bath. Ye tell me—last Christmas ye had wan. An' it's Christmas agin nixt wake. It's a clane man ye are. Nolan. Warm waiter? What will the man be n:xt. w.uuin"? Ye'll git no warm warter here, me boy. There's the bath overbye there. March!" To a junior warder: "Mr O'Flannery. kape yer eye on Nolan there, an* see there's no shenanigin wid him. I've known him a long time, an' I know no good av him. He's a dodger, he is." In the ranks on one occasion he saw a prisoner drop something, and, as he thought pick it up again. "Give me that, now."' "I've got nothing," was the reply. Whereupon the prisoner was taken to a room stripped, searched, and nothing found. As a fact, he had dropped a gaol razor made out ot a piece of steel rule. The prisoner next to him had quietly put hjs, foot on it and picked it up when unobserved. On bringing the man back to the ranks old James said, before all hands: "Ye spake the truth, Jones, an' it's proud I am to rind notning on ye.' To another wardera sharp eye on that man. Watch him clos* lies got a sacret hiding place about hi--, person somewhere. Whin he doesn't ixiv'ct it, sarch him agin." A hospital orderly, who had to <»ive evidence before a visiting justice, he introduced a-tolows: " rnis is Twintyman, yer honor; lies the harspttal orderly, and a dacent man at thai. sor. To the orderly: " Attinshun, I wmt.vmaii. Ive 2 ivc- ye a good character—li.i.l :orgiyu me. Look his honor there shtraight in the face and spake the truth. JJye near me now?" The rule that CivH servants retire at the age ot 3:.vy-tive lean's sometimes to curious, attempts to put the- clock back. To our old tuend it was a source of constant anxiety. Jt is reported that at the last census he faTr VL h,s a ?° B3 * ft y-9«: A day or two later the gaoter said to him: '• I g ee VOtt were fitty-six at the census ten years ago." 1 Was I, sor- Well, that's strange now"' \ejy strange, said the gaoler; "but what age are you? What am Ito put you down?" It I was fittv-six tin years ago." said Jar o e "p V- . canrr be flft yw now. can I sor- But .is ouare. I'll tell yon what we'll do sor-wcll siipht the difference; put m" down sixty-wan. ••-<> be continued.)