COMEDY AT SEA.

Evening Star, Issue 12882, 3 August 1906, Page 10

COMEDY AT SEA.

[AH Bights Reserved.]

By Frank T. Buxtjhj,

Author of 'The Cruise of tho Cachalot,'

As a general rule the life of the mariner is beset with far too much of the grim tragedy of living for him to give full play to the sense of humor which he possesses itt common with his fellow-men ashore. On board of a man-of-war, of conrse, there is far more seopo for comedy, but there the life is so entirely different from that led by merchant seamen in practically every detail that it must bo treated separately and by men who have lived it, if it is to have any fidelity to fact and survive the merciless criticism to which it would suroly and rightly be subjected. Practically the first piece of comedy at soa that I ever witnessed was on baud my first ship in Demerara Harbor. The men of the port watch, four of them, had received their liberty and such money as the skipper thought they were entitled to, and after the time-honored debauch ashore returned on board nest morning rather the worse for wear, but still fairly quiet. But they brought with them sundry bottles of new ruin, of a strength to make anyone but a sailor or an aborigine shuuder, and with typical generosity dispensed it liberally to the starboard watch, just shoreward bound for their twenty-four hours. This hospitality was unnecessary, and eventustJlv disastrous, but it had one present effect which was good—the returning watch had loss to drink, and were in consequence quiet all day; that is, they slept, impervious to the appeals of the officers to them to come out and do some work.

—Getting Ready for the Old Man. —

Very peaceful was that day and night, almost Sabbath-like. The Norwegian mate and cockney second mate sat and smoked, for the."old man was ashore," while Fook Shing (the steward) and I enjoyed long spells of doing nothing and misunderstanding each other. With the morning came the pilot, for it was our sailing day, and it, was necessary to get unmoored early, so that my lord the skipper might find all things ready for getting under way when lie arrived. The port watch, fairly sober, hut desperately unhappy, responded to the cry of "turn to," but on finding that their shipmates had not yet returned, retreated to their dim cave again for another smoke, nor proffered any reply to the mate's frequent appeals to them: "Kom 'long, boys. Ve geds retty for unmooring, aind "it? Tondt vant no row ven de oldt man konis. hey?"

tight bells (8 a.m.) the starboard watch arrived alongside all together in a large canoe, and the fun began. Of course they were drunk, but only in the first goodhumored stage. Their getting on board was a joy. The indignation witu which they refused assistance, the uproarious delight with which they hailed one another's ir.Tdden descent into the muddy river—well. I forgot that tnere was any danger, and screamed with shrill delight until my small sides ached. At last, all safe on* board, and their sable ferryman dismissed, thev fought the fo'c'sle, and announced their intention, of liquidating their debts. Thev also brought bottles, which, being more carefuly looked after than even their own lives, had safely survived with their distracting contents. An orgie set in among theni all in the fo'c'sle, amid which the entreating jargon of the mate wis occasionally plaintively audible as he besought them to-"turn to." At last the cook, a truculent, weather-scarred old seaman of over fifty, roared: "Boys, this square-head of ours-worrits me. Let's go and tie him up." A sudden rush followed, and presently behold the mate spreadeagled in the main rigging with spunyarn lashings, at wrists and ankles; Don't ask me how these drunken men did it; these things among sailors are past explanation. -

—Police !

Satisfied with their exploit the revellers retreated to their den again, while the pilot, deeming it time'to interfere, hoisted tho police flag and released the mate. The second mate, I may say, was really the carpenter, and did not care about broils, so he had kept out of tho way. Very promptly the police boat arrived, manned by negro policemen, but officered by a white man. Frequent invitations to "the crow to resume work, and all would be forgotten and forgiven, only resulted in opprobrious epithets being hurled at the old hooker, the owner, the skipper, and all connected with ' her, to which- was superadded the announcement that all would rather "do time" than go to sea in her any more. Enough—the order was given ' Arr st those men!" Aye, aye, sah," responded the ) black policemen, and went into the fo'c'sle. Peace reigned on deck for a space, but fragments of song occasionally floated aft. AS tex an hour the officer's * patience was exhausted, and he went forward to investigate matters. He found, to his dismay, that now his own men had succumbed to the temptations of the rum bottle, and were in most happy fraternal relations with the crew whom they had come to arrest. They scoffed at his authority, ard in proof of their independence invited their newfound friends on board, where a sort of war dance or corroboree was in order or disorder. '

Lot me conclude this recital, already too long, by the brief announcement that in due tirno another police boat arrived, manned by white men and bringing the skipper. All the revellers were removed in high glee to their month's hard labor shouting their assurance that it would be like bur.day school after that divorselv adjectived ship.

—A Dressy Crew.— A piece -f comedy that arose from a very simple matter of salvage once came under my notice, and is a proof of how the true seafarer is easily amused- Moreover there is no element of the tragic in it.' T was once m a barque called the Dartmouth, and on the passage out to China we picked up a case during a calm. Upon its being opened it was found to be full of opera hats, only slightly damaged bv sea water, but our saturnine skipper, disgusted at having lowered a L»oat for so worthless a catch, ordered the case and its contents to be flung overboard. Then ho went below, and the men pleaded to be allowed to keep those bats. Tho chief officer yielded. Tho hats were distributed, the secret of the spring being ;md thenceforward for nine months she was the merriest ship afloat. At the whct-1, on the look-out, furling royals, or reefing 'topsails, nothing could induce any member of the crew to wear anything upon his head but a tall hat Ihe skipper protested several times, but as it was a matter beyond his jurisdiction nothing came of his protests. Yet I set it down as a mark of his amazing imperviousneas to humor that never once did I see him smile during the whole of that voyage, although many of the incidents were killingiy funny. He went ashore at Gravesend to'clear the ship, and so did not witness the pure joy which greeted our arrival at the pier-head of the East India docks, the cheers of the gamins, the shrill shrieks of the women, as w; gravely went about our work of mooring the ship all in top-hats, but the rest of our costume a disgrace to any rag shop. —Low Water and High Spirits.— I was once lamp-trimmer in (for thos» days) a fine ship of the A.S.N. (Australian bteain Navigation Company), the Wentworth. And we had, among other queer souls who ran her, a fireman of the Scotch persuasion, named Archie MXillop. He w-a-3 a jood man, and the most terrible theologian you would dread to meet. His great failing—l might almost say his one failing—was whisky. Enforced abstinence during a passage—for the chief officer saw to it that Archie got no liquor between port and port —led to an outbreak whenever Archie went ashore. On a memorable occasion he came down to the wharf an ; hour before his time (he was always ptthctn*!, was Archie) clad as became an elder of the kirk, in shining broadcloth, regardless of expense or cut, his long tails almost sweeping the ground, and lis top-hat immaculate in its glossiness. But alas! he did not steer a straight course, and, coining too near the edge of the wharf, where, it being low water; the multiplied abominations of a, busy port bad •ccvmofcUed. he fell in, and for a moment

was lost to sight in filth. He was promptly rescued, hid saviours hating themselves for the odors they accumulated, laid upon the wharf, and the fire hose played upon him. Somewhat cleansed, it was noticed that he still retained the mummy-like attitude in which he came up from disaster. And at last investigation revealed the fact that those closed arms acro33 his breast held a bottle of whisky safe, unbroken through all those vicissitudes. And Archie fired his three furnaces that night south-bound, being, as his chief said, worth twice as much drunk as any other man sober. —A Good Templar Ship.— Another piece of comedy which I can vouch for occurred during the t.me thai I was an officer. I will not mention the name of the ship, because someone connected with her on that voyage may be still alive and feel aggrieved. But, like all the rest of my reminiscences, the facts may be relied upon. She was a fine ship, and had a splendid crew nearly all English, and she had been two yeans absent from England. The skipper was a Shetlandman, one of the 'most splendid old men I ever knew, and tho mate was from the brave West Country. We were bound from New Zealand to Australia, when, owing to an outburst of enthusiasm, it was suggested by the skipper that wo should hold a Good Templars' lodge ou board (which, as liquor was impossible of attainment, was quite easy). An A.B. was lodge deputy, arrogating powers from the Grand Lodge and eure of a dispensation ; another A.B. was made worthy chief templar, and the subordinate offices, such as treasurer, chaplain, and secretary, were left to the officers. The cook and steward both begged to be excused on the ground that thpy were not worthy. I confess that the experiment appeared to me full of risk, especially when, after the lodge business was transacted, the meetings always being held in the cabin, the usTia! motion was made that "the lodge do now proceed to harmony." The imregeneratc outside expended their powers of sarcasm upon us, and even hinted that such a tempest of noise as emanated from the cabin could not be produced without the aid of some more potent fluid than water. But that was libellous, since there was nothing of an intoxicating nature on board. One of the drollest parts of the'performance to me was the expression on the mate's face during the proceedings, for he was a man of sixty, a.seaman of the old school, while T was a mere boy of twenty. He was profoundly disgusted with the whole affair, but_ his long habit of obedience to the will of his commander and his strong teetotal principles combined to make him endure. His penance did not last long. The ship upon arrival in Adelaide was ordered to be laid up for sale, and the crew discharged. They had two years' pay due. And, alas! they fell. The lodge broke up in the greatest, possible, disorder, the worthy chief.-and the lodge deputy being arrested on a charge of being drunk and disorderly.-

—ln a Mexican Port.—

Pun of a mild type for one of the participants at least was provided for the crew of the Liverpool barque Panuca durin" her stay m the Mexican port of Sant'Ana! I was not a member of the crew, but I heard all details as related bv her master to ours In that port there" was no law really, the group of rascals of all nationalities who composed the inhabitants being a Dove or beneath all laws. Yet for thoir own pleasure they had elected a huge Greek as a sort of referee in cases where the disputants did not care to - resort to the usual arbitrament of knife- or revolver. Ttii? worthy they called El Senor Commandanto. lo mm, came the flapper of the Panuca immediately on arrival, . deeming him the equivalent of a chief magistrate. The Greek received him gravely, and proffered refreshment of agrandiente (the meeting place was in a rum-mill, then hade him get on with, his yarn. The skipper volubly.related how his men were a-recalcitrant crowd,, who had threatened, to desert en bloc on account of the well-kn_>wn high wages ruling "hero for seamen. Would he, the commandante, kindly receive that mutinous gang and put them in the local gaol for safe keeping imtil the Panuca was ready for sea? In which case the skipper's gratitude would be tangible and prompt. With swelling chest and Hashing eyes the Greek arose, and grasping the skipper's hand, assured him that he had come to the right shop for law and order. "Send those villains ashore," roared he, " and I will speedily teach them the error of their ways, at a dollar a head, payable in advance as far as one hundred dollars." A mild attempt at protest was entered by the skipper but drowned by Giorgios. The men were brought ashore and treated loyally by the commandante while the ship was being loaded at the extra expense of the owners for labor. Of course, there was no gaol there or anything in the nature of one except an antiquated pair of stocks, ostensibly kept for the benefit of any prie.vt who might dave to visit the place. —ln the Hands of tho Spoilers.—■'

When the ship was nearly ready for sea the commandants called the men. together, and thus harangued them. "Go on board again, and be pony for your behaviour. Then, at tho first opportunity, steal everything worth carrying away, load it in that fine whaleboat which hangs on the starboard quarter, and come a>hore. I will give you a fair price for her and any other stuff yon may bring." They obeyed him to the foot of the letter, and the night before she was to sail, after a tremendous disturbances on board, they arrived ashore laden with plunder, being received, literally with open arms. In the morning the skipper also arrived on shore in the dingey, foaming with rage, for he began to ''see. a light," as they say. He met his crew and the comniandante, who informed him that be was more various kinds of fool than had ever visited Sant'Ana- before, and advised him, for his soul's sake, to ship a few good men at 250d0i apiece for tho run home, and never come back to this land of liberty anv more.

My spaco is gone, although I have endeavored to restrict the telling of these happenings to the simplest details. But it will, I think, be seen that in true stones of the sea comedy is always perilously near to the grimniest tragedy.