A Budget of Anecdotes.

Evening Star, Issue 7212, 14 May 1887, Page 5 (Supplement)

A Budget of Anecdotes.

Mr George Seton, advocate, has collected and published "A Budget of Anecdotes," chiefly relating to the present century, which affords a considerable amount of entertaining reading. The following are culled from the Budget:—

"all explained."

Upwards of twenty years ago, Sir Noel Paton was residing at Windsor with his family, painting a series of pictures for the Queen. On one occasion Her Majesty, while in the studio, noticed one of Sir Noel's sons—a boy of about six years of age—and on asking him to kiss her, the little fellow firmly declined. "Why not?" said the Queen. "Because you killed our Queen Mary." "Oh, no," Her Majesty replied, " the Queen who killed your Queen Mary lived about 300 years ago." " No," said the juvenile, ''you are the Queen of England, and the Queen of England killed our Mary." A few days afterwards, when Her Majesty made a similar request, it was forthwith complied with. "Why to-day?" said the Queen. In the most consequential tone tho young hopeful replied: "It has all been ex plained,"

“THE lord, my boy !” Prior to the expected visit of a Snotch bishop at a country house in Fife, the hostess gave very special instructions to her “buttons” as to the proper mode of addressing the ecclesiastical diguitary. “ For example, John,” she said, “ when you take hot water to his lordship’s bedroom, you will knock at the door, and the bishop will probably say 1 Who’s there ?’ on which you will at once reply ‘ The boy, my Lord,’” The poor lad undertook to do his best, but got a little “ mixed ” before the anticipated event occurred. On going to the bedroom .(which adjoined that of the hostess) he duly knocked, but in answer to the question “Who’s there?” he unfortunately replied “ The Lord, my boy !” THE “POWER ABOVE.” At a comparatively recent afternoon party at the country mansion of a celebrated living statesman, who till lately was. literally “worshipped” by a large section of his fellow-countrymen, one lady referred to the commercial, and another to the agricultural depression which unfortunately prevailed, while a third said we should not be too much discouraged, as there was a “ Power above” in whom we ought to confide. On this their hostess is reported to have added : “ Very true, indeed; he is upstairs at this moment washing his hands!” “CANNA YE 800, YE BRUTE?” The Rev. Maxwell Nicholson, when minister of an Edinburgh parish, was called upon to marry a ccuple in humble life, and in the course of the ceremony he thrice asked the bridegroom whether he took “ this woman ” as his wedded wife, without eliciting a reply. At last the patience of the bride was fairly overtaxed, and she thus politely addressed her lord and master, in the hearing of the assembled friends: “ Ganna ye boo, ye brute ?” ACT CASSAR AUT NULU'.S. A Scotch minister was sorely kept under by his “ better half,” who placed him and his friends on very short allowance. On one occasion he had a visit from an old acquaintance, and after patiently waiting for his wife’s departure, she at length (as he thought) retired for the night. She had no sooner left than the henpecked husband excitingly exclaimed " I am determined to be C;esar in my own house ! ” and, at the same time rang the bell and ordered whisky and hot water. Just as he and his friend were beginning to enjoy themselves, “my lady” (who had overheard her unfortunate lord’s boastful ejaculation) popped her head in at the door, and said firmly “ Caesar, come to bed.” “a wee bit shairper.” Colonel M'Boan, Y.C., of the 93rd Highlanders, on being congratulated by the Queen for his bravery at an important crisis of the Indian Mutiny, when he killed eleven rebels with his own hand, thus addressed his Royal mistress—“ Please your Ladyship, if she (meaning his s word) had been a wee bit shairper, ! would have made it a dizzen!” the shepherd’s paternoster. An Inverness-shire shepherd was visited every six months by his priest, to whom he complained of his inability to remember his ‘ ‘ Paternoster. ” The priest replied—‘ ‘ I believe you shepherds know each of your sheep by head-markand on Duncan answering in the affirmative, the priest recommended him to place his sheep in a row, and associate with each of them a word of the Lord’s Prayer. Thus, the first in order was to represent “Pater,” the second “Noster,” and so on to the end of the prayer. In that way he assured the shepherd he would easily commit his “Paternoster” to memory. At his next visit he asked Duncan how he was getting on ? “ Grand,” your reverence, was the reply. “ Let me hear you,” said the priest: Duncan:—“ Pater nosier qui es in ccelo, nomtn iaum. . . “ Your’e wrong,” said the priest, “you've missed out a word.” “ Na, na, your reverence, rejoined the Highlander, “ sanctificetur deed last Christmas!” IN THE “ CIRCUS LINE.” Dining at a Continental table d’hdte along with his son, a well-known clergyman of the Scottish Episcopal Church, residing in Royal Circus, Edinburgh, was thus addressed by an inepressiblo Yankee: “Reckon your boy is an acrobat ?” As the parson was at a loss to understand the question, the. man of the “ far West ” added : “ You’re in the circus line, ain’t you ?” It turned out that the American had noticed that the address on the clergyman’s baggage was “ Royal Circus, Edinburgh,” and he jumped at the conclusion that he was a rival of Astley and Cooke.