POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXL, Issue 62, 11 September 1945, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE Life is a very curious thing. One cannot ask one person to meet another without going through a sum of moral arithmetic. it * ■ * ' :" :;. Husbands in Court: When I last looked in the glass I couldn't help but say: "You have changed since you married." » ' * * If Sleepy Fqx At Epsom faults, . 'twould not have been Those Epsom salts. "TECHNICIANS." Dear Flage,—lf the British House'of Commons is, as recently described, a "house of technicians," then it is badly in need of a logician to cement all their ideas together.—Yours, truly, UNITY. * '#'■#■ WARNING MOTTO. Dear Fiage,—The following poem is NOT by Drinkwater, and its moral is that young ladies should be strictly non-party:— ■• There was a young lady named Motto, Who, when asked to a party, said: "What-ho!" When her friends came to fetch her They brought up a stretcher * > And took the young lady home blotto." L.D.A. * * # RHYME IN THE REICH. A popular ditty in American occupation circles in Germany, usually, recited under a person's breath,. is reported to run about as follows:— Fraternisation is vexation, Division's just as bad, This rule of Three,* " It worries me, The frictions make me mad. *Four, if you include France. In other words, keeping a steady eye and a firm hand on Germany is no easy task. This is usually forgotten by people who write books to show how formidable is the problem and end up by pointing out the one ridiculously simple way in which it can be done< * # * THE FRENCHMAN'S LAMENT. To Percy Flage,— I like ze English people, yes? But oh, ze language, she is queer, Zay spell ze words so fonnee, yes? Zay dring ze beer but. not ze bier. If R-O-U-T-E spell'root, Does T-O-U-T-E spell toot? If B-O-U-G-H spells bowZen cough she surely is a cow. Is zere a noise to row a boat? Or from ze row of them in line? Please, Monsieur, use ze brain for m< She is too difficult for mine. . LITTLE FRANK. ■» * * ■«• CONTACTS WITH PLANETS? British scientist's suggestion that, as a result of a combination of radar and the release of atomic energy, interstellar navigation will be possible, recalls other theories—equally fantastic to the laymen—for contact with the planets. One such suggestion concerned the possibility of sending messages to Mars by light signals. Criticism of this, like all other such ideas, was expressed at the time, one astronomical writer declaring that though suggested as the most favourable, of all the methods proposed, it was the most impossible; Since Mars is such a magnificent object in the night sky when nearest the earth, he said, one would imagine that to the hypothetical Martians the earth, which is seven times bigger, would be a much more splendid spectacle in their night sky. But actually, he pointed out, it is then broad daylight in the Martian hemisphere so that an observer on Mars could only see the earth if it were artificially illuminated on every square mile of its surface by a light stronger than sunlight. ... Assuming it were, possible to make such a light or mirror, to reflect the sunlight, at least 2000 square miles.in area, it might be seen from Mars by means •of a powerful telescope. Such a contact, he added, would only be possible when Mars, seen from the earth, is about 90 degrees .from the sun, and the earth, seen from Mars, a thin crescent, visible for a few minutes before sunrise and after' sunset on. Mars. Most likely means of contacting the planets was by aeroplane, the writer concluded. .It will be interesting to read astronomers' opinions on thf latest suggestion.

ALFRED ST. GEORGE.