POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXV, Issue 31, 6 February 1943, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

Jane Ace: Stalin's greeting to Hitler: "GOOD MOURNING Adolf." ** . * "Very Nazi": The Fuhrer: How he must be getting furi-er and fiiri-er! * * * "I don't think much of elephants" said the fly. "They can't walk on ceilin *s'" * •Why Not" (Hataitai): Robinson Crusoe created the 40-hour week because he had his work done by Friday. *** . * That Nazis have a soul, and fight for Christianity, ■ ,' ~ , Suggests there a crack in bull-neck Berlin's sanity. * » * NOMENCLATURE. Dear P.F.,—Anent that problem of a name for the Foxbridge—Rippling Waters colt: What about these: Minnetonka (I like that!), Bridgewater, Oasis, or Roto-iti. By the way, the Maori rendering of "rippling waters" ought to sound pretty good! Yours, J. Hawera. * • * 17th CENTURY OLD. "Tell it to the Marines" is not American slang, as many people think, but British of honourable and ancient lineage. Its- first written use was in Pepys Diary, wherein the 17th century author reports that a colonel of the Marines told King Charles II a wild tale of having seen flying fish. "Henceforth," the monarch remarked, "whenever we cast doubt upon a tale that lacketh likelihood, we will tell it to the Marines." * * * SHE OWNED JAVA. Did you know that not only Java was Britain's, but all the Dutch East Indies? (They were given back to Holland.) Not only that, but the Philippines at one time were mortgaged by Spain to Britain, for a war indemnity, but there was no foreclosure. Britain restored the island of Reunion to France, and let her setee Madagascar. She was master of all the Guianas, a huge territory in South America, but gave France and Holland the parts they now own. Britain refused the Congo, but perhaps her worst blunder was that in 1683. She abandoned Tangier, the door of North Africa, on the ground of expense. * * * GANGSTER. Rommel is a gangster. So. declares a soldier writing in the London "Evening Standard." Rommel "graduated" in the academy of 1914 Prussian militarism, he says. The, best story about Rommel is told by Mr. Bob Low, an American correspondent. One day in the Western Desert, Mr. Low and a party of British officers picked up out of the sand a dazed and bruised enemy. He turned out to be a German staff officer. He had been travelling by car with the German commander-in-chief on one of his lightning journeys to the front, when they had been spotted and chased by British patrols. The last thing the officer could remember was Rommel saying to one of his bodyguard: "There's one too many in this car." * ♦ » SOLDIER AT CHURCH. Dear Percy Flage,—lsn't this a beauty? Our soldier pal has a very pious wife. On Sunday night she went to church, leaving her hubby to water the garden. During the watering process his conscience pricked him and he thought that, it being his Wife's" birthday, it would be a nice gesture to share the devotional service with her, so off he cantered to church. Unbeknown to her he was doing his best in church when he was asked by the usher to pass around the plate for the collection. Up the aisle ha walked, and the first person to whom he passed the plate happened to be his wife, and she, in dutiful fashion, placed her donation in the plate without realising it was her downtrodden hero who was. in command of such plate. A dig in the ribs and a reminder to '■Cough up more than that*" soon brought to her the realisation that truth is stranger than fiction. -When service was over, an object was seen careering down the road. Some say it was J.L. I wonder. CORPORAL. * * » INTIMATION. Europeans?? As clear as a Jap poem upside down. New Zealander: Out upon such a naughty little "Digger"! Jerry: Your idea of a new New Order would not interest Anthony Eden. Various Postscripters: These days, when newsprint is not booming, will you, please, keep your notes "boiled down," as is said? Thanks. W.: You missed the grade by only a fraction. Not a Parent ("We Parents"): You have us puzzled from the outset. D.Y. (Auckland): We do not pay contributors, as does dear Walter Winchell (U.S.), who's a near millionaire. (2) Verses these days should be kept down to, say, sixteen lines, at the most. 0.X.: Your Price Tribunal jingle scarcely jingles. Mrs. G. (Seatoun): Henry Lawson, the Australian poet, came to New Zealand once (many years ago). "John Gray": We are unable to find room for your theory of Hitler, interesting though it is. * * * SHE. It was not I who walked in that street, But another woman ... I know not her name ... Clovis, or Anne; only the sweet Breath of the times, and this light, are the same. One cricket sang, and so her heart reeled , , And her youth was drunken on GCStSSV Summer, summer ... the vials unAnd the gold light sifting on girl and tree. But slow and steadfast, under the leaves, She moved in the torrent of moonbeam rain, . ,', And the doves awoke, and cried from til 6 GcIVGS And the lime-boughs whispered, "She walks again." For the space of a moment, where the road ends, . , . She stood with her grave hands clasped at her breast; And wine-red lilies were hers . . • and friends . . . A lighted window, a place of rest. It was not I who walked in that street, Yet she used my body a moment And Know (while the breath of the limes clings sweet) v •, That her laugh was truth, that- death is a lie. * ' —ROBIN HYDE. A repetition of this poem was desired by "I Remember Her," Ashburton. *.. * * BREAKING IT GENTLY. The squire's son, who had been away for several weeks, was met at the station by the groom, who looked very miserable. "Bad'news, Joe?" he asked. "Yes, sir; the magpie's dead." "What did it die of ?" "Too much horseflesh, sir." "Where did it get the horseflesh from?" "The carriage horses, sir. They died I the night of the fire." "Gracious! Has there been a fire at f the house? When did it happen?" "The night of the funeral, sir." "Funeral? Whose funeral?" "Your mother's, sir. She died from shock when your father died." "What! My father, too?" "Yes, sir. The shock of losing his money killed him." "Good Heavens!" — "Yes, sir; and the magpie'f dead.?