POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXV, Issue 20, 25 January 1943, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

'Heard of a Jap soldier who, ail in, placed dynamite in his mouth and lit > the fuse. A man of parts, what » ' ♦ * ".' Hitler: "1... will not leave this country and go abroad if things go wrong ... as the Kaiser did." * * * :'.'■■'' "A Frenchman living in Gentianoccupied France has a perfect right to express his opinions," says a Vichy broadcast. Provided, of course, that he doesn't mind being shot. : * * ■ ♦ J.S.—Dame Rumour, next-door neighbour of Mrs. Grundy, believe! that advertisements telling how to gel rid of pimples, etc., ought to be bart red as giving information to th< enemy, who zealously studies oul newspapers—perhaps. * ♦ . » GRAMMATICAL BALLOONACY. I■•• " • . Have a war-time problem: it Seems singular to me Why The plural of Barrage Balloon Balloon Barrage should be. —"PUNCH." * ■ ♦ » PRACTICAL-PARSON. : 'l . This reminds me, writes William Hickey, of the American naval chaplain who was preparing for divine service at Pearl Harbour just as tht Japanese bombers swept down on that quiet Sunday morning last December. He threw his surplice aside, rushed to a gun, started shooting—and the men heard him cry: "Praise the Lord! Ive1 just got one of the sons-of-bitches!" [:. * #- » GERT TELLS ONE. Miss Doris Waters, of the famous. Gert and Daisy act, when she visited North Shields recently, with her' sister Elsie, "brought the house down" withJ a blitz story she said was true. . A dwelling had been wrecked by ;a bomb, and after frantic endeavours the' rescue squads managed to extricate,« very aggrieved woman. v . i "Is there anyone else there?" they; asked her. ' "No," she replied emphatically. "Where is your husband?" ;•> She answered with even, greater emphasis: "In the ruddy Army—-tfiir coward!" » ♦ .».■•■. KEEP THE BACK DOOR LOCJOm.^ "Keep the back gate shut!" Says Father. "Rather! I am not a mutt!" . ', Mother waves her broom Wildly round the room— "We'll have no. mishaps With nasty little Japs!"' -; "Keep the back door locked!" * "Rather!" says Father. - "Windows all are blocked?" .: Eyes peer through the fence— Watching our defence— "We will keep them out! Don't you ever doubt!' RIORDAN HASTINGS. • * ♦ « • "' DEER. Dear Mr. Flage,—An article inthe Press on deer states that th^* "death ground" of deer, like that of elephants, is a mystery. Equally •flays-" terious is what becomes of the antler! of stags cast every year. I have.heard' gillies in Scotland say they never flna any in the deer forests, except in tht very rare instances where, in th« course of a fight between two" stags,. the antlers becoming firmly interlocked resulted in the death of both.—Yours etc., ■ I.H.D.