POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXII, Issue 126, 24 November 1941, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE "All roads lead to Rome" is an old proverb, and the Duce's warriors seem very keen on proving it. * • . * It is not playing the game for Stalin . to keep the Germans so long out in the cold. » # * ''My husband says the 8.8.C. doesn't mean wireless to him," said a wife at Tottenham. "It stands for beer, bread, and cheese." * * * Jean.—Berlin announcer: The German tank output is still rising. Yes, but it's R.A.F. bombs,that afe making it rise. * « * Quentin Reynolds: "A success is a ' guy who accumulates enough to leave his widow rich when he works himself to death." * * * •TF ANY MOURN US." Talking of strikes—here are Kipling's lines headed "Batteries Out ot Ammunitiofl":— "If any mourn us in the workshop, say We died because the shift kept holiday." .. * #■ •■-.- WRISTLET "RADIO." Wristlet "radio," three inches in diameter, weighing six ounces, can now be worn during air raids by those fearing to be trapped unlocated under debris, says a London weekly. Instrument sends out oscillations by pressure on a strip of celluloid. These can be picked up by rescuers equipped with ordinary portable radios and direction finders. * * • BARNACLES. Did you know that, contrary to popular impression, writes Carl K„ barnacles do not simply sit on a rock or ship bottom all their lives? In their youth they are fragile creatures that,, swim about quite freely, at the mercy of tides and waves. After a time they settle on some rock or shell and cement themselves firmly by the head. They never again voluntarily move from the chosen spot—insurance against their being dislodged and hurled to death on the beach. * #■■■#.- INQUIRY, Dear Flage,—Here's a job for you. A soldier overseas has written asking us to track down a poem for him. The last two lines of the verse are: "It's not the fact that you are dead that counts It's how did you die?" , Can you or your reader* assist us in tracking it down for the benefit ot our absent soldier.—Yours faithfully, F, W. MILLAR, General Secretary. N.Z. Public Service Association. The quotation is but a faint memory to us. Can any Postscripter supply the complete verse? * ♦ '•:,_ .. 1 WELLS (H. G.). It is the effervescent H.G. Wells speaking: "I described a tank and hdw it could be used to break an entrenched deadlock, in 1903, in a story called 'The Land Ironclad.' Years afterward* I discovered that som£ enterprising gentleman had" secured a considerable gratuity as the -inventor' of the .tank: His imagination stopped short Just where my story stopped short' -He had no idea5 of how to use the tahk, and the British Higher Command made,/ an utter niess of the job. It might have.decided the war in 1916. X'^aa k£pt in"the dark as to what was gbing on. . . ."Late* On; de Gaulle was quite uhable to ~tea£h the elderly French generals the principles of mechanised warfare^, -ahd the Germans last year were the first people to make an intelligent use of the tanks. . . ." ", ,•* :a:'x * * TREYBfiRG'S JOKE. It is said that, no British general is better loved among his men thin General Bernard Freyberg, the LondOniborn leader of the . New Zealahdirs. He is a great, joker, and not sb very long ago he had a great opportunity of showing his wit. , He was inspecting a guard of "Tommies" who had nbt been in the Army many months. Apparently, one of the soldiers did not know of Freyberg's reputation, and when the great soldier put a monocle in his eye, he imitated Freyberg. As he passed down the line Of men Freyberg noticed his "wag," but said, ndthing. Then, when he had finished his inspection, he walked up to the man, flicked the monocle from his own eye with a twitch of his face, and, with one movement, caught it in his righ£ hand and slipped it into his turiie pocket. Then he grinned at the Soldier and said: "I bet you can't do that!" Yes, the man who has won the V.C, the D.S.O. on three occasions arid gained the respect even of the Germans, believes in having a joke with his men. * » » "ASSAULT AND BATTERY." Cunningham, Conirtgham, and Cunningham Have opened the business of gunning 'em, The Wops in disorder Flee over the border And squeal for the Nazi that's running 'em! Cunningham, Coningham, and Cunningham Display a tough way of impugning 'em— They're using aggression For instant possession, And out of. the desert they're dunning 'em! Cunningham, COningham, and Cunningham Proceed at a pace that is stunning 'em, Between 'em they'll pommel Der Pan? off Herr Rommel, - Unless he's successful in shunning 'em! H. GALLAGHER. Island Bay. * * ♦ AFTER ALL THAT! Changes have been made in the 8.8.C. organisation following the sending of birthday greetings to the King ; of Italy. These are believed (stated a cable message on Friday) to have been made to prevent such "untoward happenings" in the future. The greetings to Victor Emmanuel were broadcast on November 11, and the broadcaster, Christopher Stone, added: "I do not think any of us wish him anything but good, the poor soul." Christopher Stone's part in this incident calls r to mind the Western Brothers' song (quoted from memory): Christopher Stone in his mansion Talked in his wonderful way, ► Talked to us all through the evening, Talked to us all the next day, Talked till we said we'd be going. Then, as we stood on the mat, He said: "Shall I play you a record?" After all that! Perhaps the Western Brothers would like to send Mr. Stone a copy of their song, with one of the New Zealand posters: "Lest we regret. Don't talk."