POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXII, Issue 75, 25 September 1941, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Leo: Russia to Britain: "Tanks % million." * * •«• Why not a Tasmanian tiger for the Bronx Zoo? It would be lionised. *,« * . Now that the Russian winter is settling on the Germans Goebbels is sure to do some snowbawling. * * ■» . # Japanese Foreign Office spokesman, Chuji Machido: "The Europeans will never understand the peace-loving heart of the kind Japanese." »*■■ ■ * ■ It is said that a love-letter written by Napoleon to Josephine, during one of the soldier's campaigns, was, at first sight, thought to be a plan of a battlefield. ' , . - # . # •» INQUIRY. Dear Percy Flage,—ln the course of the .Kaiwarra beach wreck controversy one of your correspondents referred to target practice from the Kaiwarra and Ngahauranga Forts. Can you or any of your correspondents say definitely whether there was a fort at Kaiwarra, and, if so, what was its name? Also _ where was Fort Kelburn? Was it the ' name of the old battery at Kelburn, or the battery at Ngahauranga? OMADHAUN.. « * ♦ WHITE RUSSIAN. This anecdote concerns a White Russian, an aristocrat of. the old regime, who appeared before a Paris police court. "Where were you born?" he was asked. "St. Petersburg." "Where were you educated?" "Petrograd." ''Where did you last come from?" "Leningrad." "Where do you wish to go to?" "St. Petersburg." . The various names he used were all for the same city, and the final use of "St. Petersburg" was expressive of the hope that, with the old name, the old days might return. ' ; ■«•' * * i BRONX SPEECH. : /' The Bronx is a luxuriant weed patch on the landscape of U.S. speech, and Arthur Kober, author of "My Dear Bella," knows its'every leaf and stalk, says "Time." The older generation .have learned a patois that passes for English, but they retain sentence struc-' tures from Yiddish. (Pa Gross, protesting in a torrent of talk: M'Like a ; machine is gung the tunks. Like a sobvay is coming the woids—tukk, tukk, tukk!") The young people, U.S.born and schooled, make mistakes which belong not to Yiddish but to the Bronx-examples: omitted consonants ("lease" for least, "oney" for only, "finey" for finally, "subjeck" for subject); misconceptions ("grain matter" for grey matter); transpositions ("dastric" for drastic); mixed metaphors ("Mac Fine, honestly, if there's any figgers arounn, your nose is bound to be knee-deep'in them"). . But the young people of the Bronx have a great American thirst to improve themselves. y ■» «■ # BEGGARS' LITANY. ; Re the recent ceremonies of christening the Halifax bombers. Might I supply my reading of the prayer which Lord Halifax quoted. As a native of Halifax, Yorks, I believe the f proper title of the petition is the "Beggars' Litany": "From Hull, Hell, and Halifax, Good Lord deliver us." The reference to Halifax must have been blamed to the gibbet, which/was a kind of guillotine, used, as a deterrent to crime in the seventeenth or eighteenth centuries. The block is still in position, while the business end of the machine is in the local museum: The story goes that if a thief had stolen more than the amount of 13£ dhe would suffer death at the pulling of a lever, or if he stole a sheep or other animal, the said beast would be made to operate the lever. The reference to Hull was caused by the severity of the vagrancy laws. Perhaps some native of that city can enlarge on this. The apparatus of Hell is unknown, since no- . body has returned to tell the tale. : The litany may well be used as a Nazi prayer: "From ; [Cordell] Hull, Hell, and [Lord] Halifax,. Good Lord deliver us." HALIFAX. ; * '■'*.'.'* MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. Joe Starling is a 'andsome bird— At least, me dear, that's what Tvi 'card ■■ .' By readin' papers big-'n'-small. - 'E 'as a smile what makes me fall For.'imi in spite uv 'c's big iho, Which goes where ever 'c may go. 'E's from the Caucus many a year, Not like the Caucus we got here (For what I ain't no time). 'E's got (Talkin' uv Joe) a real warm spot For all 'c's people in 'eVeart — 'Ed never get them in the cart, Cos they would fall out if'e did. I've gotta feelin' Joe's big dayWill come when Furiors in de cay An' 'c's "Noo Warder" gets the sack For sayin' things be'ind 'c's back . What 'Itler: don't like. Any'ow, . The Nat'nalists will rouse a row If the election comes agen; 'TwoUld stir up some uv Peter's men Who fear' they'll not return no more Rememberin' what's gone: before. Still, both sides, dearie, can't all win— Someone '11 get it on the chin,. An' loose 'c's railway pass for good . . . . Would you paint your legs if you could? ■ ■ * «• * GANNET—OYSTERS. Dear Sir, —The old iron boat lying at the south side of the" Kaiwharawhara Stream is the Gannet. She x used to be moored near the old Thorndon Baths at the mouth of the Pipitea Stream' about 50 years ago. There were then three buildings along this stretch of waterfront. They were first from the baths a boat-builder's house and workshop (Mr. Davenport, I think), then Mr. Chalker's house, then the Thorndon Yacht Club's shed. All three were built on piles outside the wQOden breastwork which extended, north to within about 100 yards of the old baths. The Gannet was moored off Mr. Chalker's house. Stewart Island oysters were kept fresh by being hung in barrels under the boat shed, and large oysters could be got all 'over this stretch of water, bred, I presume, from the spawn from these barrels. I The sea floor was a smooth sand, and lat low water one could wade out beyond the baths and gather the oysters. Pipitea Point was a fine seining ground for fish, because the two tidal streams running into the harbour met here. ■' Most bodies drowned off the Lambton Wharf (including my greatgrandfather) were picked up at Pipitea Point for this reason. The Oliver Lang sank about half-way between the Manawatu overbridge and the Kai- - wharawhara Wharf. The tollgate was fairly close to the wharf immediately below the entrance to the first railway. ■ tunnel. I-saw the gates lying on the rocks the day after they were destroyed. Yours faithfully, JEREMIAH. -