POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXII, Issue 60, 8 September 1941, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGS

Chronicle and Comment

Goebbels's "ghost" is both r talking and walking. ♦ • ♦ Japan is sitting on the fence. Does it mean offence or defence. • ♦ • Hitler is said to have bought a special wireless set. It's the only way he can get to Britain. * ♦■■..■» Democracy must remember that the underdog is entitled to a kennel at least. ♦•■ ■■ ■■ ■ » ■ ; ♦ Olin Miller, U.S. commentator: "Uncle Sam is 00 busy watching the wolves in Europe he can't see the rats at home." * * ♦ 1 STRIPPED. Speaking at Sheffield the First Lord of the Admiralty is reported to have said: "The approaching phase of- the war is going to be the decisive phase, * for which we must strip to the, waist When you are fighting v for your JUf« you have to throw everything in." - Good work, Mr. Alexander, but please let us keep our birthday suits. PARA PARA UMU. # * • WAR ODDITY. , A battle involving a single cannon - ball occurred the War of 1812. At Sackett's Harbour, Lake Ontario, an English ship appeared and shot a balJ at an American fqrt. The missile fell short and rolled to the feet of an Ame* rican soldier; the latter immediately^ put it into his own cannon and shot it back at the British boat. The latter (was raked by the ball, 14 men were killed and 18 wounded. That ended the battle. » '■■ '■■«.... ■■ ~» INFORMATION. In reply to "Ex-Aussie": It was Goebbels who invented the propaganda stunt of the State fosterfather and persuaded Hitler to in- " , struct Hess to be publicised as the Nazi leader who would give his names as "father-by-proxy," to all baby boys born out of wedlock. Under the Goeb-bels-inspired' sex laws, German women, and any who came under , Nazi control, have only two functions: to serve man and to breed. So there is compulsory labour for all girls between the ages t>f 17 and 21, and a State, decree which gives preference in all State jobs to women who have illegitimate children by Nazi soldiers,.^ * # ♦ OLD MAN. '..... Only the dungaree-clad legs of a soldier protruded from beneath the car he was repairing at Camp Stewart, Georgia, when another soldier came along. "Working on the Old Man's car, €o^* the second soldier asked. "Yes." "Getting paid extra?" "No." " • ■ " - ' "How long have you been in the army?" " "About 30 years." "Non-commissioned officer?" . "No." "Hmmni! You must be pretty dumb.'* And the second soldier.,walked away before the first—Major-General Wm. H. Wilson, the Old Man himself—could scramble out from beneath the machine. , s ♦, ♦ ♦ I PRICELESS^SEEDS, _: l- -... Germans are selling flower , seeds stolen from Holland and France at high prices in order to obtain dollar currency. The value of some flower seeds is so great that a small package sent by post may realise a thousand pounds or more. For example, the Petunia Sakata, which produces double flowers, has seeds so small that there are 200,000 , to the ounce. A packet of 60q seeds ' ' costs the customer ten shillings, so the ' price works out at £2133 a poundThere is "a scarlet gloxinia, the scent of which is even more costly than that of the Sakata. It! is—or was a*-few years ago—priced at £900 an ounce. In Ceylon seeds of a new variety of cinchona have fetched £200 an ounce. Most costly of all are the seeds of the rarer orchids. They • are so tiny ihat they are almost invisible to the naked ■ eye. There is one variety of which it takes 230 million to make a pound. There never was a pound of these seeds in existence, but, if such a thing were possible, a million sterling would be a small price to pay for it.' * * » EAST SIDE SONG-HIT PARADE. Well-known Maladies Intended to b* Sunk. (Tune; "Alexander's Ragtime ■ Bsnd^fc Gum on an ear, gum on an ear Ell lick senders wreck time'bind. Gum on an-ear, gum on an ear, ■ It's dub Bess Ben din the land; Day kin blay a bugle gall He qiieu net fur hoyed before, x . So net sure rill dead shoe wan a Bft to war; Dats chess.duh l?estest ban watt aa^ honey lamb. Gum on a lung, gum on a lung; Let me day cue pie the hand, Up to the man, up to the man Who's the litre rough the ban. Dan nephew care to hear the Swaneft, reefer blade in wreck time, ' '-• Gum on an ear, gum on an' ear - 5 Ell lick senders wreck time band, -^ (Tune: "Break the News to Mother^! / Chess Prague the noose to mudde* She knows sow dear rye luff fu* < Aji teller not to wade for me, For rhyme not gumming comb. Chess say dare is snow udder Kin take the blaze of mudder; Den kisser dear Swede lips for me Yen Prague the noose to her. ——J'.JCJ. "New Yorker." (Contributor: A.M.) , * * • CREDULITY. • .;- Talking of superstitions—Sir John Hammerton, a world-known author, will have none of such. In a recent article he quotes from a magazine whose editor is entirely sincere, says Hammerton, but whose credulity is extraordinary. Here are some ex- . a'mples: Sir John Anderson of Bath, not him of shelter fame, has had a visit this ~ year from W. E. Gladstone at a seance. Gladstone said: "Once more I return to your earth. ... I have this day been. with your Premier in the House of ' . Commons. .. . My'• friends, you are — going to have victory sooner than you believe." One wonders if Mr. Churchill was aware of Gladstone's presence at the time. .Tamara, a wise man and seer, who is new to me—l gather that he is living on another plane of life, but his portrait is very like that of any stage magician one has seen in -^ recent years—Tamara says: "Man cannot govern through his own powers, but he is so created that he may Utilise and translate into action the Divine power of the Good-spirit in terms of government." Heading: "Miracle Healing is Natural Healing." Advertisements: "Love potions. My family's secret recipes supplied upon the strength of their extraordinarily happy results. Mme. de B " "Miss '', McC, Highland Seeress. Call or -" write." "Excellent clairvoyance by Post." ... ss. "Learn How to Pray. . .' Particulars from secretary " ".For Bunion Sufferers. Ladies' 'Flexible' comfort shoe fits the feet like a xlove."