POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXI, Issue 145, 21 June 1941, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

Is Stalin to end up with a treaty, or an entreaty—or both? *■• # * Dillwater telephones: "Musso, as you have said, is Italy's 'heel'—and hasn't he got 'socks'!" * * # Ah, but wait till the R.A.F. has the Luftwaffe's teeth all drawn—and no dentist handy. * * ♦ It must have hurt you somewhat, Melisande, to discover that your soldier boy, in charge of a spittoon, was not living up to expectorations. * * * Arturo Toscanini (outstanding musi-' cal conductor): "I kissed my first woman and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I have never had time for tobacco since." * * * WIDE DUCHESSES. The world's largest slate mine is Merionethshire, Wales. This mine has been in continuance for 135 years. Before that it was a quarry for another 200 years. The blue-grey slates go to all parts of the world. They are known by the gradations of the peerage. Starting with "queens," which are 26 inches by 16 inches, they descend to "princesses," "duchesses," "wide duchesses," "marion duchesses," "countesses," and "ladies" (16 inches by 8 inches). DAVID. * w * MRS.* BEETON. We gave you the Housman poem oi Mrs. Beeton the other day; here are further details of this bright, attractive young woman, the friend of every cook. Formerly Isabella Mary Mayson, she was married at an early age to Samuel Beeton, publisher of "Uncle Tom's Cabin," and founder of the "Queen" newspaper. Mrs. Beeton was only twenty-three when she began what she described as her "four years of arduous labour"—the writing of her famous "Household Management," and the compilation of nearly 4000 recipes which it .contained. The work was first serialised in "The Englishwoman's Domestic Magazine" and was published in book form in 1861. Four years later Mrs. Beeton died, at the age of twentynine. There is a striking portrait of her in the National Portrait Gallery. * * * PREDICTIONS. Even prophets of some authority miss the target shatteringly. In 1909, for example, the late Lord Haig declared that the aeroplane, even if it wefe to be greatly improved, could have no military purpose. Sir William Crookes, a man of heavy authority, committed himself in 1898 to the following stater men t:_"Should all the wheat-growing countries add to their area to the utmost capacity the yield would give us only just enough to supply the increase among the breadeaters till the year 1931." Yet here is 1941, and despite the war, bread is one of the few foods not rationed. Lord Palmerston made a crushing blunder when the subject of a Suez canal first came up. Speaking in Parliament, he said: "My firm opinion, founded on geographical and engineering reasons, is , that, though perhaps the project might be carried out at enormous sacrifice of money and life, as a remunerative commercial undertaking it is nothing more than a mere bubble"! * # * SCHOOL'S IN. Do you know that (1) A young n.c.o. of the R.A.F. took over a class of recruits and found his father among them? (2) When a Chicago man fell out of a chair, his false teeth preceded him to the floor and bit him on the forehead? « t (3) Having laid eggs for eighteen months a white Pekin duck at Sydney has become a drake? (4) Though hydrophobia is commonest among dogs and jackals, warmblooded animals like wolves, foxes, cats, and skunks all suffer? (5) Britain's rat population is estimated at 40,000,000, and does damage to the amount of £2 10s per rodent head? (6) Mistletoe was regarded by the ancient Druids not only as a sacred plant, but also as a "cure" for cerr. tain nervous disorders? (7) Rubies of the colour known in", the trade as "pigeon's blood" are worth a much higher price than diamonds of the same size? (8) J. Montgomery, author of several Church of England hymns, was at' one time a baker's boy and later manager of a gasworks? (9) This year Canada will have "made up to Britain for the loss of Danish bacon and other imports? (10) Once the property of the tutor of Charles V of France, a Bible has been sold at Sotheby's for £2400? * * * THE NOBLY BORN. Published in Emerson's "Parnassus" over the initials E.S.H.; author unknown. ' Who counts himself as nobly born Is noble in despite of place, And honours are but brands to one Who wears them not with knightly grace. The prince, may sit with clown or churl Nor feel himself disgraced thereby; But he who bhas but small esteem Husbands that little carefully. Then, be thou peasant, be thou peer, Count it still more thou art thin own; " " Stand on a larger heraldry Than that of nation or of zoae. What though not bid to knightly halls? Those halls have missed a courtly guest; That mansion is not privileged, Which is not open to the "best. Give honour due when custom asks, Nor wrangle for this lesser claim; It is not to be destitute, To have the thing without the name. Then dost thou come of gentle blood, Disgrace not thy good company; If lowly born, so bear thyself That gentle blood may come of thee. Strive not with pain to scale the height Of some fair garden's petty wall; But climb the open mountain side, Whose summit rises over all. * * ■ * . THE ENGLISH SPIRIT. (Contributed by Greytown.) Dear Sir, —I wonder whether you have heard of the following story. It was told by Alfred Noyes in the newspapers over 20 years ago:— It was a story of the Battle of Jutland. "In the very hottest moment of this most stupendous.battle in all history," he says, "two grimy stokers came up for a breath of fresh air. What domestic drama they were discussing the world may never know. But the words that were actually passing between them, while the shells whintd overhead, were these: 'What I. says is 'c ought to have married* her.*" Culled from "Pebbles on the Shore," by Alpha of the Plough. J.