BRITISH CHILDREN

Evening Post, Volume CXXX, Issue 76, 26 September 1940, Page 12

BRITISH CHILDREN

ATTITUDE TO ADOPT

SUGGESTIONS TO PARENTS

QUIET FAMILY LIFE

Some suggestions to people in this country who have undertaken to receive British children into their homes were given last night in an address by Dr. C. E. Beeby, Director of Educa-. tion. The main points made by Dr. Beeby were that the children should be treated as members of the family] and be allowed to slip as quietly as possible into the family circle. Ha emphasised that nothing should be done that will tend to spoil them and lead later to unfortunate reactions, and that they should not be allowed to become the centre of interest to friends and neighbours who might want to hear from them a recital of their experiences. At the same time he did not suggest repression; his suggestion was that the children should be allowed to talk or be silent on the subject as they wish without any, prompting at all. He advised also the keeping alive in the children of the faith that sjpme day they will be going back home. His general advice was to treat the children with under-, standing and tolerance and to provide for them the calm background of a normal happy family life. "It's well to remind ourselves that these children have been through a pretty dreadful experience," said Dr^ Beeby. "I don't just mean the air raids and the bombings, though those must have been bad enough. But in, addition to that the children have had at the most impressionable period ot their lives to leave their homes, their parents, their friends, their schools— to leave everything that has made up their lives. And behind it all will remain the fear that their homes and their parents may be in hourly dan-, ger from air raids or invasion. "We don't want to sentimentalise over these children. That can do no good to them or to us. But we miist be prepared for some of them to be in a rather nervous and unsettled, state Our own children would be the same if they were suddenly packed off to, say, the United States. Most of the British children, I hope, will settle down very quickly here, but some will find it rather hard, and we have got to help them all we can. SENSE OF SECURITY. "The thing they are going to need above all else is a sense of security, for that's the thing they have been lacking. It is for us to provide it in our homes. I heard somebody, suggest a great party for them on the day of arrival. Personally, I can't think of anything worse, what they really need is to slip as quietly as possible into homes that provide all the security and calmness and' sure affection that their lives have been lacking. The* less fuss, the better. Some of us, I know,-;will be tempted to give them a specially^ good time to make up for all they have suffered. If by a good time you mean, parties and pictures and sweets and dashing round to see new things, and new people I should strongly advise you to let it wait for a while. They have in the past few months seen more new things than . any . child should ever see, and what they want is a quiet, peaceful home where they are treated as one of the family, no better and no worse. ... . "It would be easy to spoil them ia the first few weeks, to set up standards of hospitality we can't live up to for months and perhaps years. They are only normal children after all; and they can be just as easily spoilt as your own children or mine. So it is wise to begin treating them as we can go on doing over a long period. Otherwise, I am afraid, a reaction might set in on both sides. TALK ABOUT AIR RAIDS. "There is one question I have been asked that seems to me very important. What should we do about letting them talk of air ra^s and bombings and the horrors of war .that may have come their way? There is one obvious thing we should not do, of course. We shouldn't let them become a centre of interest to friends and neighbours who might want; to sit around in groups and question them about their experiences. At the same time we don't want to force them to bottle things up as it were. I should say the wise plan would be to let the child talk to you as he wishes and be silent as he wishes. Your job is to act as a sympathetic listener without pressing the conversation any further than he wants. "That doesn't mean, of course, that you shouldn't talk about his home in a normal, friendly manner. One of our most difficult tasks, especially with the younger children, will be to keep the memory of their own homes and their own parents clear in their minds. I think a phrase that would be often on my lips in dealing with, a British child would be: 'When you go back home.'* . . . We must keep alive in them the faith that they are going back. ■ "It is impossible to generalise, of course, about the children who may be coming to us. They will come from all sorts of homes, rich as .well as poor, and will present all sorts of problems—just as our own children would. What they will need for the first few weeks especially will be understanding and tolerance and the calm, background of a normal, happy; family life. . ADVICE AVAILABLE. "If problems should arise that are. too difficult for you to solve yourselves, there will be people to help you. In every district there is a local committee responsible for placing the children. The officers of the child welfare branch of the Education Department will be glad to give any help they possibly can, to answer any questions, to give any advice, and they have a very wide experience to draw upon. You can get in touch with them at the nearest child welfare office or, if in doubt, through the Director of Education, Wellington. The teachers of New Zealand have also pledged themselves to help, for this is a community job, a national- job that you. are doing." . ■ ■