POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXX, Issue 54, 31 August 1940, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Fred: Mussolini's "famous victory" ir Somaliland brought him (his) jusi deserts. * * * Hitler (says W.W.) will go dow.il in history as the man who inspired the bullet-proof baby-carriage. * . * * Fun in the news (New Zealand paper): "It is scandalous to see these society women going about with a poodle dog on the c"nd of a string when a baby would be more fitting." • • # • The British Women's Auxiliary Service in France were given pink leave slips, with the following order: "Members . . . must show their pink,forms when going on leave." There were official blushes. *- * * "WHALE-BACKS." "Whale-back" warships are an American idea to defeat bombing attacks. They would have curved armour-covered decks and pill-box gun batteries, all parts now exposed to fire, including the bridge and communicating system, being completely covered. A design is now being considered by the U.S.A. naval authorities, # * # INQUIRY DEPARTMENT. P.M. asks for the words of the song "Good Luck" ("Colonel Bogey"). Will some Postscripter oblige? N.C. wants to know if any Column B'ers have the words of the parody of the "Ten 'Little Nigger Boys," which begins "Ten Little U-boats." 4? » •» PUBLICITY. Lord Horder, the famous physician, tells a story against himself as a warning of the embarrassments of publicity. One Sunday he was rung up at 2. a.m. from a police station oh behalf of a prisoner. Obeying the summons, he discovered that the man arrested for driving a lorry "under the influence" had produced a newspaper cutting and declared: "This is the doctor I' want to examine me." The cutting was an extract from a speech in which Lord Horder had stated he knew of no scientific proof that a moderate consumption of alcohol was injurious to health. The cutting was several years old. ,« *• «■ BRAIN-TEASERS. Here's No. 1: A University professor, motoring, came upon two tramps on the wild West Coast. He decided to stop and talk with them. One of the tramps had five biscuits, the other had three* They invited the tourist to share their-' food, which they did, all eating equal amounts. The "meal" finished, the. visitor pulled out eight shillings, "and 1 gave them to the men, saying; "You fellows are welcome to those eight shillings, but I leave to you the prob- \ lem of dividing them in proportion to i the amount of biscuit each of you gave me." Other tramps who came along • later thought that the shillings should ' be split in. five and three to tally with : the, number of biscuits , contributed. \ One suggested that the division should 'ibe seven shillings for- the man with this 1! five biscuits and one shilling for the 1 j other man. A companion argued that 'ia 50-50 share was the thing. The tourist was asked to settle the question. ' What was his decision? I No- 2: ! The great composer's thoughts fly fast,; r Emotion stirs his soul; > He takes my first to write my last, , For which he has my whole. The answer is a word of two syllables.

SCHOOL'S IN. r Do you know that— f (1) In England, in the reign of Edward 11. the deprivation of gloves wai a ceremony of degradation? '_ (2) The Angel, a gold coin impressed with an angel, was valued at 6s 8d in the reign of Elizabeth, 1562? (3) The planet Saturn, whose diameter is almost 77,320 miles, is over 900.000.000 miles distant from the sun? (4) The beautiful Paradise bird, of which there are more than 50 varieties, varying in size from that of a sparrow to that of a thrush, is a variety of common crow? (5) Germany, the largest soya importing country in the world, bought 800.000 tons of the bean in 1939? (6) London had its "shire-reve'* (sheriff) prior to the Conquest, and such an officer was appointed'for English counties in 1070? (7) New York Public Library pub* lishes a catalogue of books on the making of inks containing over 2009 titles? ; (8) Between 1932 and 1938 Brazil, in an effort to steady the market, bought up 44,000,000 tons of coffee to dump it in the sea? (9) The first records of card-playing date from the reign of Kao-Tsung, who succeeded to the throne of China A.D. 1127? (10) In ancient days dogs were actual combatants, being protected by armour and wearing formidable spiked collars? * * ♦ ■ CHARING CROSS AT NIGHT. By Charing Cross the water bloomi ■With strange noctural'light; Long rows of riverrlamps throw down Gold lilies in the' stream to drowa Before the city doffs her crown And garlanding of night. Wayfarers on the pavement pass Beneath the lamps a-gleam. Some hand in hand, their happy tryst* Are keeping; others through the misti Move onward, lone somnambulists Upon a road of dream. For them the phantom rowers go, Soft-harvesters of light, Each with a sickle-oar that cleaves The swaying line of golden sheaves That ripen where the water "heaves By Charing Cross at night. WILFRED THORLEY. * * * STILL GOING STRONG. Shortly after the war broke out ft i friend of ours, something of a Jere* miah. predicted that England was due to. follow in Rome's trail down to perdition. Sandor Petto, a Hungarian author, knows his history better than does our doleful friend. Here is the evidence. • "Rome,"' says Petto, "was not worn out because she had been. so long a front-rank Power, but because she did not defend her empire with the bodies of her own sons but with those of alien mercenaries. Should the day come when England no longer has the courage and the strength to protect her heritage with her own sacrifice., and when her power has to rest more on her past glories than on the' present heroism of her sons, then one could draw wise or sorrowful parallels between the British and the Roman or Byzantine Empires. Should England ever fall so low as to recruit hef sailors amongst alien races and depend solely on her allies, then the last hour of the British lion would hay* come." ,