POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIX, Issue 114, 15 May 1940, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Nomenclature: Repetition, by Bore* dum out of Daventry. .■■-■'" .•■''*'■ * ,■ ♦■■' -' ,\ j Fun in the news— • ' '•-.. German pamphlet: Our "Eterna" Fountain-Pen is a revolting invention. * * » As you say, Melisande: When enemy troops go parachuting they frequently get shot. ■ * *■ - * Those Anglophobious. Fascists will be in for another whipping if they don't mind their p's and q's. * # ■ ' • '. We,have consulted the stars, which warn New Zealand to prepare for a local blitzkrieg in about six weeks' time. ' . UNCIVILISED.. Letter in the "Spectator" (London)! The Germans, considered from a Chrifc tian's, rather than a scientist's, standpoint, have never been properly, civilised; their leaders are and have been savages at heart They are at the stage of the British, in the eighteenth century, when we made fortunes from slave-running and child labour, or of the French in 1789. They were never civilised by, the Romans, had merely a veneer of Christianity in the Middl« Ages, and are too akin in manners aad outlook to their yet more savage Slavonic neighbours to the East to avoid being corrupted by Tartar and Siberian1 barbarism. *: '■■ ♦■ "■ '•■■*- r . MY HOTEL GUEST. He walked down the stairs with conscious ease, Paused at the bottom, excused M sneeze; - Said: "It's a very nice day? What! What! . , Indeed, dear lady, it's almost hot" I laughed to myself-rpolitely lied, " "A very nice day, sir," I replied. He smiled so amiably, raised his hat» Skidded a yard on the downstairs mat? Shouted to me as he yelled "Goodbye," ■ •• "Sorry that I've found Wellinftoa ■ dry." - '■ ■ ' :. 'i- ■-. - •-■■'V-^.; • '. I laughed and laughed at the shock - v he'd' get k When London feet got Wellington .wet,, PHONEY/ >. '' INFORMATION DEPT. ? In reply to "L of an Argument's* inquiry as to the when and wher« of the Tinakori Road flood—"B" supplies the following information:— . . The Tinakori 'Road flood, which took place in 1893, was caused by. a heavy downpour of rain, which proved too heavy for the drains and caused ait accumulation, of water in'the ■■"dip"'between Tinakori Road and the Tinakori Hill, in the vicinity of Saunder's Lane. Ward's "Early Wellington" shown (p. 311) a photograph of Saunder'a Lane with submerged houses and. a rowing-boat. , . . . •■;■.#. * *■ .. ■-■ ♦ :•■•■■■- : IRREPRESSIBLE. During the last war the Germans took prisoner an officer who" had entered the Air Arm viathe Navy. Before long the Germans were almost sorry they had caught; :■. him;^ Five times he escaped. Fiye times be^was recaptured and punished -with- solitary confinement, and a dipt of breadsand water. He was exchanged to Switzerland, returned to England, and ended the war in command of a flight in .Yorkshire. ; . ■ ■ , --■': vf. -•; . -The same officer has just been pr<> moted to command a- hew group of the R.A.F. "He is Air Commodore Lionel Douglas Dalzell McKean, a native of Dublin. He joined the Navy in 1904 and took up service flying in its early days. His son is just finishing his.course at Crariwell, and will'shortly follow in his father's footsteps in" ah operational squadron. * ♦ • ♦ TO CROWBAR, (After reading his poem, "Style."J Hey Crowbar yer ahin the timeSj Altho I like yer wee bit rhymes* Ye cahria get awa' wi' that, And sayin' ye wid bell the cat, And pickin' on the-wimmens daes, Comparin' them wi' bygone days; The fashions change and weel ye ken. Gone' are the days o' but arid ben, When wimmens waists were like'a wasps, ■ ■ And breathing came; in tiny gasps. The wimmen noo are trim and neat, Frae perky hat to weel shod feet. Square shouldered coats, are smart ana . braw,. ■'■.•■ .;. ■' 'r' .L ■■' Wi' furs and trims for win* tae blaw. We're;comfy noo inside oor daes, ~ Since banished are the. tight lacea stsvs ■ ' ' ' How smart are girls upon the hike, Or skiddin'past upon a bike, :- Wi' every muscle lithe and free ■ (I'm thinkin' ye've been on the spree), Wha dug they're elbow in your nbsT Noo Crowbar lad yer tellin' fibs, Or else ye kinda got too neary Twas better nor a slappit ear. Like fashions ye must change yer Or s^n^you'll be a wee smaVspanner. r A.WiM. Newtown. *-*• • ' . • MARTIAL METEOROLOGY. Dear Flage,-Is it just.a cp&cidence that the weather has its bhtzknegs/m sympathy with the martial movements SThe Northern Hemisphere. Or Sven't you noticed that: When C*rmany invaded Poland, and the word Sthrou^hthat fateful Friday September 1, we had had a violent hail and snow storm, of unusual intensity, that when we first heard of the brutal violation *of Finland-our barometers were strangely depressed, representing truly both the meteorological and mental conditions; that when. Hitler with loving fatherly 'protection wrapped Denmark and Norway in his gentle arms without receiving due appreciation for his honourable, intentions of guardianship, we could only think, of our weather at that 7time and' sigh . "Blow, blow thou winter wind Thou art not more base than man's ingratitude." (Or something like that). And when this humane would-be-father of all living (apologies ;to Keable) decided to adopt the little orphans threatened by those brutal Allies, during this last fateful week, were hot the radio waves hurled even more quickly at us. by the coldest arid most violent southerly conditions of, the year? , , . - Now, Flage, my occult studies have led me to believe that this is due to one of four things: The secret hissings in Germany of projected blitzkriegs blow all the wind and clouds our way; one good blitzkrieg deserves another; our weather is monotonously putrid or putridly monotonous. (The aye's have it); I'm wrong (and if• you say so, then it's a case of you're right,, and I'm wrong as you always are). MORAL: When tl.a weather report says "fine" listen hard at your radio, *—Yours, etc., STORM^SNOOPER.