POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIX, Issue 72, 26 March 1940, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

So there's another lone wolf in the political offing. • » • News heading: "Hitler On The Last Lap." The lap of the gods? * * # Blowing into a friend's, ear is the greeting used by Indians in the Gull of Mexico. Elsewhere biting' one's ear (for a loan) is a regular practice. * * # That big magnetic storm may have been Nature's reply to those magnetic mines.. She can be sensitive when challenged. .* ♦ ♦ "Voila": The British are extremely fond of animals. A sign on the main street of a small English town reads: "Slow Up. Deaf Dog." * ♦ ♦ Dr. Ley: "It was a miracle that the German people were not broken by their winter sufferings." It's a safe wager Goering didn't lose any weight. • •» • STRENGTH THROUGH JOY. Listen to the "Volkiseher Beobachter" (Berlin): In order to achieve success in kissing the man must observe the following rules. Leave at least one of the woman's nostrils free, because she must breathe. Pencils and fountain pens should be removed beforehand from the breast pockets. Alcohol has a bad taste. Take off the hat, because it will fall off in any case. Do not ask whether you may kiss her, because any decent girl would naturally answer no. " ''..'..' For women: Be sure that your lips •feel soft. Leave hairpins, bosom brooches, jewellery that scratches, and non-kissproof lipstick at home. Da not expect every kiss to presage matrimony; otherwise you will miss all the osculatory flavour. Do not try to be a Garbo, but comb your hair so that the man will not have trouble afterwards in removing it from his coat. • * ♦ : CANADIAN AIRMEN'S WAR SONG. Canadian airmen, recently arrived in. England, have their own song. The words and chorus, composed by FlyingOfficer W. G. Middlebro, in association with Pilot-Officer H. Ashley, are:— Pompey, Darius, and Cyrus Were all defeated one by one; Ghengis Khan and Alexander Really lost the wars they won. ■» There's a ; medieval tyrant Living in the world today; .... . : He will never last as long as they did Now-thatwe are on our way. Chorus: Up boys, into the blue sky, Up boys, that's where the foe fly, '■■ Up boys, we've got a war to win; We'L' make history tremble With our might, and assemble On the streets of Hitter's old Berlin! We're the eyes of the forces; Instrumental resources. Without Us action can't begin; And when we convince the Nazi . His Government will collapsy, .._' We've got a lovely war to win! We hope the melody is a littie" mor* appealing than the words of this war song. #♦•; . . ■ THIS WEIRD WORLD. Cripplegate (in London) was •so called from the lame.beggars'w'lmj'sat there as early as the year 1010. The gate was new buiit by the brewers of London in 1244; and was pulled dewn and sold, for £91 in July, 1760. The poet Milton was buried in the church near it, November 12, 1674. The Israelites were numbered by Moses, 1490 B;C, and by David, 1017 8.C.; Demetrius Phalereus is said to have taken a census of Atica, 317 B.C. Servius Tullius enacted that a general estimate of every Roman's estate and personal effects should be delivered by the Government upon oath every five years, 566 B.C. In the United Kingdom the census is now taken at decennial periods since 1801. Lanterns of scraped horn were invented in England, it is said, by Alfred, and it Is supposed that horn was used for window lights also, as glass was not generally known, 872-801* London, was lighted by suspended lanterns with glass sides, 1415. NEW ZEALAND'S ON THE WAY. Dear Percy Flage,—As msicbin* songs seem to be the order of the day, how about this one? Come, lads, the bugle's calling, • Old England's- needing you, To help her fight the devil And save things that are true. Don't wait until she's crippled, Spring to it now this day, And send her on a cable That New Zealand's on the way. We look to her as mother, Though New Zealand gave us birth, For to us that same old England Is the sweetest place on eartn. We know you'd win without us, But save us a bit of fray, For we want to help you, England, And New Zealand's on the way. We are not a great big nation. But we always do our bit, And we'll make those blinking Germans Have an epileptic fit. So send a wreath to Adolf, He'll need it any day, For Mr. Hitler's number's up— NEW ZEALAND'S ON THE WAY. —A. J. Pascoe. ♦ »■ • INTIMATION. Paloma: Sorry to disillusion you, but there is no truth in that story. Sunisa: Still a shade short of th« mark. Just Me: Regrettably we are denied entrance to that domain. Perhaps it is i list 3S "v^rdl Carolus (Houghtoh Bay): Dying sayings are either real or traditional. Alexander II (of Russia) is reported, to have said ere he died: "I am sweeping through the gates, washed in the blood of the Lamb." Pizarro, it is said, died with but one word on his. lips: "Jesu!" Christchurch Visitor: Peter Bingen won a New Zealand Trotting Cup, arid paid over a score. Look up the; records for No. 2. "Holy Smoke" (Address: The Hataitai tunnel): Unnecessarily flippant. And is it your own work? 8.8. (Evans Bay): Considering those verses. The precisians will scalp you if you rhyme "dawn" and "morn." Alex: Have been unable to uncover that story about Mussolini. Why not try the Assembly Library. First Attempt: Not exactly reeking with promise—here's four lines of it— There's no one like my daddy, Who is the best of sports, And when he. comes back from work I laugh at his jolly thoughts. No Piker: We are not interested. M.C.L. (Taita): You are treading on dangerous ground. We'll make inquiries as to the veracity of thosa figures. Alibi (by telephone): It is we who were wrong. Thanks for the correction and the note of appreciation. X: The: McClancy, back home oho* more, will be tickled with your comments. -