POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIX, Issue 48, 26 February 1940, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment i • " i ' : ' ' 1 " * - : >

Listen, Melisande. You can be ba*» bound on the West Coast on land a* well as at sea. * * • Censorship, so far, has not inter* iered with our outgoing correspondence .. . probably because so little of it is decipherable. .#■ ' * ■'. • Hitler claims that Providence hat been working to bless the Nazis. Well, count your blessings, one by one, Adolf. j « # ■■# In the old days the war correspondents were up in the front, lines. In the last war they hung around th« censors' offices and waited for the "hand outs.s'. * ♦ . '■■». ALL BOCHE! Published- by a 'Moscow paper, "Krokadil" ("Crocodile" in Russian?): just before the conclusion of the Nazi* Soviet pact:— ' "All in all. only the northern rac« is able to produce wholly pure sounds. In the non-northern tongues offensive sounds are ejaculated, which remind one of animal noises, such as barking, snoring, blowing, or screaming. Birds are better at learning human language than other animals. The reason is that their beaks have a northern construction: they are long and narrow, and birds have a short tongue. Also, the form of the northern plate allows for the most perfect mobility of the tongue." This is the work of a Nazi anthr^ pologist. * * *. BLOOMERS. (A young lady speaking.) " When you visit the great big Ex. Don't expect it to be perfection, For many bloomers have been exposM In more than one direction. But .don't you be misled, For if you're really willing, You'll see more than- you've ever Seen for a single shilling. There's loads and loads of fun For young, and old, and snappy: y Coming in looking glum, Going out feeling happy. SEE FOR YOURSELF. . Thanks for the hankie. We're jollj short of them.—P.F. «■: ■ .-.'■■ * ■. ■. ..- * THE BITER BITTEN. Dear P.F.—Had a nice run at a meet* ing down south today with Spanish Lad, Sparkle, Shikari, Sword-Stick, and Scold, finishing up on another spate of S 's with a sparkle, too. Here is an incident, so far unrecorded, of a race some years- ago. Following the dispatch of a contestant to Dunedin a gentleman who assisted thereat came with the information: "They fancy its chance in the Cup." "Did they say anything about Gipsy Grand" (the. local- horse and eventual winner) was asked. "Yes, they said he would probably get into the ditch at the start." There was such a pitfall at the ">ld Forbury course and the horse that made the journey'fell foul of it.' * » • ' NUMBER OF THE BEAST. If you are at all superstitious you will be keenly interested in this apparently significant compilation. If you are just a cynic-^well, that is your affair. However, here's the news: 100 a. 101b, 102 c, 103 d, 104e, 105f, 106& 107h, 108 i, 109j, 110k. 1111. 112 m;. 11311, 1140, 115p, 116q, 117r, 118s, and 119t. H 107 I 108 : T 119 L 111 . E 104 R 117 666 REVELATIONS, 13:18. "Here is wisdom. .Let him that hath understanding count the number ct the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is six hundred three score and six." We figured out Stalin, according to arithmetical conditions and found that he missed being the "Beast" by only three points. *. ' ■: ■* .'. * FLY-TIME. 'Tis fly-time and the busy fly Is out to do his best: He is up and at me early, And he sees me off to rest: Most meddlesome of creature* As good old Chaucer said; I love him well at all times, But I love him most when dead. He is present at my breakfast, And samples all my kai; He lands upon my scanty locks, Or investigates my eye; And my ear he makes a haven ■ Where he steals a moment's rest, For thinking out some fiendish plan. To make* himself a pest. Yes, I love the gentle house-fly, So faithful and so true; Your human friends may leave you, This the fly will never do; He will visit you in sickness, And dine with you in health. And prove equally assiduous, Amid poverty or,wealth. xv.J.xV ■'■ • ■ * ♦ INTIMATION. X.L. (Masterton): Thanks for thos« verses and quips. Thanks also for reference to Col. 8. Mac Hongi: You have us guessing. Jeanette: (1) Lord Halifax is «t-si« tall, and has a withered left arm. U* Lloyd George is still in the land of the living; he is as interested in farming, possibly, as in politics. Good wishe* reciprocated. , ! "Alured": Those verses have already i appeared in Col. 8. Thanks all the tjsanie. , j Will-Gee: The rhyme has its moments, 'j bill, alas and alack! those moment* | are only momentary. L.D.C.: Nearly, but not quite. Mannerheim ("Gallant Finland ): Here's the fourth stanza— Overwhelmed by great numbers, They fight tooth and nail, Knowing sooner or later ■That right will prevail. J.D. (Aramoho): Glad to hear from you again. How did you come to knovf our private address? "No Piker" (Wadestown): Afraid that nothing could be done about those "marching song" verses of yours. John Doe: There are people who still [believe that Hitler was bumped off several years ago, and that hit "double" is carrying on.. Regrettably, he is very much alive. E.W.W.: Just a wee bit short of publication quality. Hope you will try again. St. Kilda: That yarn is as old as th» hills and makes a reappearance ai* nually in one newspaper or another. We haven't any idea as to the author. r Muss: You must not be too hard on . that gentleman: he seems to be tangled i up between the devil and the North Sea. ■•■■■;.'.■ . Tadpole: It dived into the web of its • own volition.