POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIX, Issue 31, 6 February 1940, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Let us brand it the Third "Un-Reich-ous, and let it go at that. * * # Stalin's military policy is pitoving al expensive as it is expansive.' « « * It is the fellow who knows nothing wlib will insist on saying something. » - ♦ • There are cafeterias and cafeterias. . One we wot of charges you only sixpence fora pot of tea! # * • Goebbels cannot have it both way* England cannot be a pirate State and a land of nitwits as well. CAN YOU? Dear PJ\,—l lift this from "Readers' Digest," August, 1935. "O. O. Mclntyre once asked in Ms column who could tell, without looking it u», the present tense of the verb «f which •WROUGHT' is the past participle . . .." Can you? SLIM JIM. * * ♦ WOMEN AS ASSOCIATES. Judge Kennedy has chosen a woman to be his associate, or private secretary. There have been others. What time I was reporting the Courts for "The Post," Judge Edwards appointed his daughter to succeed his son as associate. She was as shrewd as any male of the species in getting the fee for typed copies of the judgments of the Judge. T.LM. » & * CHEERFUL READING. In the catalogue of books recommended for soldiers at the front are these titles, says the "World- Digest": Les Miserables, Green Hell, Render Fire, Doomsday, Death of a Hero, Cold Comfort Farm, Chaos Is Come Again, Before the Bombardment, Hell Let Loose, Poor Gentlemen, Soldiers of Misfortune, Thou Shell of Death, Valiant Dust, Gun Cotton, Bullets Bite Deep, Death in Ecstasy, The Avenger, The Way of AH Flesh, the End of the Chapter, and R.I.P. # * * CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Writes A Constant Reader: It wa» with great interest I read the GR.C. in your column. I can better, the Wanganui veteran's record by nine years. My grandmother, Mrs. J. Matthews, who is 83, and lives in Ponsoaby, Auckland, visited Wellington for a month. She went to the Exhibition several times (one day lasting from 10 a.m. till 9 p.ni.), and went on ths "cyclone" with my mother and father, all thoroughly enjoying the big thrill. I enclose a photo, taken wjule on her visit here; of the four generations. She is a grand old lady; .she keeps her age well, retains her faculties (still makes her own clothes), and two years ago took a trip to Sydney. I shall be keen to see if this entry can be beatenWishing y.our column continued success. (The photograph bears out all that A Constant Reader says of Granny. Here's wishing her1 many more years of full life.—P.F.) M. E. Hampshire . (Melrose) also challenges: Our dad, who is also of hardy pioneer stock, was born in Queen Street, Auckland, in 1861 (79 years ago). He went on the "cyclone" and visited most of the sideshows, in-* eluding Crazy House. Today (Sunday) he walked from the Hutt Road, up Onslow Road, to Khandallah Raserve. After lunch, he climbed to the Trig Station at the back of the reserve, 1465 feet high, and thoroughly enjoyed it. When he returned to Ihe reserve he was quite prepared to g-J another walk. This combines nerve with stamina. (We gravely salute such a veteran.— P.F.) » ♦ * LANCASHIRE WAKES. In sending these lines, taken from an Indian weekly, "Soomat" insists that "Sandy Powell has nothing on E.E.G., the author." We'll take his word for it. Get oop wi' thee lass, an' put kettle on't feier, • ' An' fry oop soom bacon an' eggs. Thee feyther cooms off 'is night shift at six, An* 'ell want me t'massige 'is legs. 'E drew all t'cloob moony a'Seterdajr neigh t, It coom oop t'three pound ten, Th'excursion return starts at 'arf past seven. An'wi'll 'aye t'be on it bi'then. We shanna be back afoar midneight t'neight, Boot a'rekken will 'aye a good time, Fer we're tekking a fower gallin jar of owd ale, An' soom ninepenny cheese in the prime. What wi' croompits, an' parkin, and cranberry tarts, An* soom samwidges made out of 'am. It'll be soomat like 'aving loonch wi' t'King, T' say nowt about strawberry jam. Will ride dobby-'orses an' swing int swee-boats, An' penk at t'cokonoot shies, An' see a good pitcher, an' a strip* tease an' all. Eh! lass, it'll oppen thi* eyes. An' where be we goin'? What need] be tew ax? Why t'Blackpuil a* eerd gaffer say, An* tho wi 'shanna be back worn bi'twelve, By Goom! Will 'aye 'ad a good day. ** * * INTIMATION. Albert D. —That yarn has'already appeared in this feature. Topmast.—Your jingle runs int© heavy weather. Try again. * Graf Spec.—The emphasis is on the "kill." Lover of Birds. —Almost as inexplicable as one of those nightmare-ish surrealist oil concoctions. J. Person.—(l) We can be found at the office if you let us know when you are coming. (2) No; there's nothing in that story. . 12/2615 N.Z.E.F.—Thanks for those lines asked for. We have received them- from a number of other Postscripters. ' "Aotearoa."—To be. honest—you lack the qualities which go to make even a topical rhyme. ' W.B.W. (Napier).—Sorry, but you have touched on one of our untouchable themes. Try it. out on one of the weeklies. Y.Z.—Louis Braille, the Frenchman who invented the Braille system of embossing books in raised type, be» came blind in infancy from an accident. Regular Reader (Wadestown).—But if you are a "regular reader" of Col. 8, how comes it that you missed those comments and that marching song? Patricia.—We don't mind quips on politicians so long as they are not personal. Your reference is not in the best taste. M. T. Payte— Rather an appropriate pen-name. Puce Bairnsmother. —We much prefer rhymes (or pars) which make fun of Hitler, Goering, and Co. Let th* Ministry of Information do the slant* ming. _ ~