POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVIII, Issue 107, 2 November 1939, Page 12

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Hitler undoubtedly is striving for peace, primarily because war means Hades for him ultimately. • * * * Jake.—Apropos that British ConsulGeneral named Smallbones: I used to know an Australian publican, one, Smalbeer, believe it or not. -* * # If it is true that the farmers are facing the spectre of rising costs, they haven't a ghost of a chance of getting square. * « ■ # Whoozit. —It looks as though under the new transport regulations the operators are going to be slugged— with the Government the slugger and ■ the carrier the sluggee. "Transports of Joy!" for the carrier, of course. * » * Omadhaun: Is tlie look-out on Mount Victoria to be merely a look-at for the rest of the war, or are the public to be allowed on the hill to look out on the outlook —political, scenic, and in- - terNashional. * ',» ■ ♦ CHARLIE THE CLOWN. Dear Flage,—lf A.M; had listened in to a local station a few weeks ago he would have heard that same performance given over the air by that lively chimney sweep, well known as Charlie the Clown. Charlie is known to all Wellington's kiddies with his Punch and Judy show. I've known him for a good many years, and if A.M. hadn't woken up he would have had poultry coming down his chimney. As regards A.M.'s prize real life story, he would be only one of dozens Charlie has put that little joke across. However, -1 wouldn't like to keep Charlie' out' of a job, and I'm sure if you want your, chimney swept he would always provide a little entertainment free.. Yours sincerely, SCOTTY MORRIS. . P.S.—And by the way, I think Charlie has saved quite a few from drowning in his time. ■ -* * « ". ■ - INFOI.MATION DEPARTMENT. "Is there any chance," asks "Wishful Thinker," "of a shortage of motor fuel" '• oil at any time shutting down* the big. German war machine?" It is hard to say, W.T., but here; are some facts. According to the techni- . cai journal of the American petroleum industry, war has automatically created an acute condition in the Reich. This view is supported by the "Petroleum Press Service," the international trade publication of the world oil industry. When war was declared Germany was consuming 145,000 barrels of oil a day. Her planned production of synthetic oil from coal amounts to 39,000 barrels daily. Rumania sends Germany 30,000 barrels a day. The Russian, oil fields around the Caspian Sea produce. 600,000 barrels daily, but Russia,, it is reported, needs all of her oil. Her mechanised farm programme has kept domestic consumption abreast of production. These facts suggest the possibility at least of the Reich running short of oil sooner or later. * * * SCOTIA WILL BE PLEASED. A plea for the cessation of jokes about Scotsmen was made recently r in the German periodical "New Literature" by Herr Vesper, a well-knowa German publicist, on the ground that they represent a Jewish affront to. a Germanic race. "Our newspapers, protests Herr Vesper, "are once more full of jokes about the Scots, mostly of a stupid character. These Scottish. jokes are usually drawn from the Jewish London Press. The Scots are the most healthy, decent, and also the most Germanic race of the British Isles. Only among them does the possibility of an individual English national development exist. They are the last healthy national force, which exists ia the British Isles. This is ground enough for the Jews and the Jewinfected of England to hate them and to try and make fun of them. This is all the more so since among the Scots one is constantly finding men and . women who love and admire Germany. And so let the Scottish jokes cease. Let nobody fall for them any more. They come from the Jews." MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. I'm gettin* ready for the fray— The Big Show out at Lyle Bay. I 'ear there aint no tickets free For pyroneers like you-'n'-me— . Us who '?ve 'elped with, either ana To build a nation in this land ■ ._ Called Gawd's Owned country, dearie, . The Nat'nalists, for good-n-m, ■ Was skittled, since which they avt been More orfen loudly 'card than seen. 'Owever, dear, come rain-'n'-snow, I'll get into our birthday show. For nothink, if I 'aye to try My best smile an' most wicked eye Upon the doorkeep. H that fails, , I'll pin a card to 'c's coat-tails Sayin' in red ink large-'n'-bright: "Kick me ot-foot with all your might." It fairly gives my *eart~the cramps Readin' uv consecration camps, An' all them borrows perpletrayed By them 'ell-'ounds what 'Itler made. If- there are any justice, dear, ■Tween this earth an' the straiterspere-, This Nastyism an' its boss, Who's just plain nutty when not crost,. An* is a liar 'ard to check— 'Ell shorely get one in the neck. An' may I live to see 'im fall 'Ead first from orf the Western wall, With that bear-'ugger Molly toff--He needs a blisterin' bumpm 0r... But any'ow, I'm glad to know Our Teddy's* got some place to go. An' a real job at larst to boot . . • Well, loverly, I'll jest 'aye to scoofc *Duke of Windsor. *•■ ■■■'. ■'■• . *. SCANDAL. IN THE ABBEY. Dear Flage,—lt seems that the hallowed walls of Westminster Abbey were assaulted on Sunday last with a statement from the pulpit that Soviet Communism "has recovered «a real belief in God." No doubt, the Rev. Dean • who made this affirmation was under the impression .that the deliberate "liquidation" of 'some four million Russian peasants by tlie needless "famine" of 1932 was in accordance with the humanitarian principles of euthanasia. While, perhaps, he was able to assign a similar merciful motive to the determination expressed by M. Yaroslavasky, who, in the same year, outlined his policy as director of "The League of the Militant Atheist' in a pamphlet which, translated and distributed in England, told of ". . . another and concurrent Five Year Plan designed to tear up the roots of religion." Then lately there came the corroborative evidence of the Soviet non-aggression pact with the Nazi persecutors of Christian; and Jewish religions, who profess an ardent belief in a god '(of their own), and the service which the Soviet subsequently rendered by stabbing in- the back Poland, which, of course, was ever , a pagan nation. As King Hal's ghott muttered: "It's all as clear as mvd w —• even though Geof. Chaucer declared it just "A Canterbury Tale," and WiU Shakespeare dubbed it "A Howler ■ from Hawlett." "JER33MIASL"