POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVIII, Issue 103, 28 October 1939, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

CONTRABANDYING. * # • Herr yon Ribbendetrop. *'■.*..■■* The Soviet Ambassador in London has had the laugh on the Nazi Billingsgater. * * * When the Sovieteers ask too much of the Finns, it is asking too much of the Finns to concede to such demands. • ♦ * QUEBEC ELECTIONS. Ex-Fremier-> DuplessisHas missed all his guesses. FOGDEN GNASH. » * * SHOW A LEG! Harihaha.—Every morning I rise unwillingly but with determination to tune in for the 7 a.m. rebroadcast from Daventry—and return to bed to listen. What a difference when the "session for physical utness" opens,' ; Believe me, I spring to it. I can usually turn it off on the first syllable of ."physical.'* ■ '■* ■ ■* .'*.' THE VETERAN. From our No. 1 Bellerive. When I meet a soldier I long, to clasp his hand. They all look so brave and true, so strong and grand. I can't march because I'm old, NTo good now, so I am told. But I aim strong enough to pray, And pretend that I am gay, When I see soldiers marching to the band. MILMAY • # »-■ LA GUERRE. Visitor to Trentham to sfentry at gate: Can you tell me where Heib Jones is? Sentry: Wot's 'is number? Visitor: I don't, know. Sentry: What battalion? ' Visitor: I don't know. Sentry: Wot company? ' Visitor: I don't know. Sentry: Well, now the h—- do y«l expect me to know him? Visitor: Well, you ought to. He wears the same sort of suit that you do. A.H.B. " Ex-9th Batt., A.I.F. BRAIN-TEASER. "Dorsal Finn" (Masterton) sent us this one. Exigencies of space compel us to reduce the problem to-its bare bones, so to s'ajr. Tony Scaletti. the?,local fishmonger, set out one Friday morning with a case of fish on his cart. He hoped,to sell the lot and did. His first customer ordered half of what Tony had and half a fish—and got them. His next customer^ strangely enough,,, said: "I'll have half of what you have on your cart, and half a fish." She got them. And, stranger than ever, the third customer gave the same order; No one got half a fish, nor was a fish cut in half. How many fish did Tony set out with? -And what did each customer buy?,; .„.; v -::■ - --:.■-'.: pvr No- headjche wafer^. reared ..here. "" Na 2.~Fift"in Jthp;'missing; letters from ' clues given below tb" make! six 9-letter wordf— -we give you the fourth one.' , ."'■■•■■ i-y .-■:■' ■ I.—-I NE., . ..■•■* v - H 2.—. I N E,. .. .. , , . .3.—. . I N E . .V . . 4.—R E FIN E DL V 5.—. . . . T N-E, .-'■ ; .-. 6.—. . . . . I N E . 7.—. .- . X ';.-' /IN E ' Clues: (1) Toper. (2) Populaf Flower. (3) Weak. (5) To the point (6) A vessel. (7) Stringed instrument. Now to your dictionaries. * . .'.'■*' ~ -* ■ SCHOOL'S IN. ' Do you know that — (1) Queen Victoria was so frightened of gas as an illumination that, she ordered all the pipes at Windsor CaStle to be stopped? (2) A Prague statistician calculates that every human being has 16,000,000,000,000,000,000 ancestors if they were traced back to the year A.D. 1? ' (3) The richest man on earth, the Nizam of Hyderabad, is reputed to have £50,000,000 in solid gold in his private vault, along with a couple of bushels of precious stones? (4) More minerals have been taken out of the earth since 1900 than in all previous history? (5) It takes about 60,000 gallons of water to help make a ton of the. kind of paper you're reading this from? (6) A new-born kangaroo is an inch lon£? .: OM . «,_ (7) George Washington was 6ft 3Jia tall, weighed about two cwt., had smallpox marks on his face, and suffered much from toothache? (8) There are about 7000 sports grounds in Russia, 250 buildings devoted to physical culture, and roughly 3000 drill-halls? (9) A young Englishman found an entirely new variety of orchid in the Philippines, ahd Pierpont Morgan paid, him £6000 for it? (10) Mrs. Hutchings, of Ringwood (Eng.), has been making knitted gloves - for sixty years, and is still going strong? w. * * PAST. The clocks are chiming in my heart A cobweb chime; Old murmurings of days, that die, The sob of things a-drifting by, The clocks are chiming in my heart. The stars have twinkled and died outFair candles blown! The hot desires burn low, and gone To ash the fire that flamed anon. The stars have twinkled, and died out. Old journeys travel in my head! They come and go— Forgotten smiles of stranger friends, Sweet-weary miles, and sweeter ends. Old journeys travel in my head! The leaves are dropping from my tree! Dead leaves and flown, The vine-leaf ghosts are round my brow, For ever frosts and winter now. The leaves are dropping from my tree. —John Galsworthy. # * * : WONDERFUL . -.. . FORESIGHT. Here's the irrepressible 'Orace with ft 1 pair of clippings. ; "The first," he writes, "could hap- ' pen on the return from the Stock Ex- > change at Trentham, and the second is ; simply modern." Old Lady (at Piccadilly, London): Isn't it wonderful the way a single young policeman can dam a flow of traffic. Young Boy: Yes. mum, but you ought to hear a taxi driver at it.some time. At the wedding reception a young man remarked: "Wasn't it annoying the way that baby cried during the whole I ceremony?" . "It was simply dreadful," replied the , prim little bridesmaid; "and when I ■ get married I'm going to have engraved . right in the corner of the invitation* 'No babies expected.'"