POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVIII, Issue 64, 13 September 1939, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGB

i New Zealand will be there! * * • Where is the Bremen? The answer* a lemon. * ♦ * Well, gentlemen, it looks as though at long last we have a war that will end war. * • • It is becoming more and more apparent that the Fuhrer has as many - friends outside the step-Fatherland as a tuatara has whiskers. * ♦ • We cannot imagine Goering descending to wearing a bathing suit because he wouldn't be able to hang all his medals thereon. * * * What a lot of "strangers" there wer« on the trams recently— Nice people, with nice motors, But got no petrol at all. JAY JAY. *■•■ * •, INTIMATION. Curious: Yes; we had a second call from that Voice . . . Monday evening. It began this time: "Is that Percy Flage?" and in a restrained tone asked N a question relative to the war which we were unable to understand, due in part to the fact v that reception (and perception) at our end were poor. "Never mind," said the Voice; "we'll drop the question, with the receiver." And that's how it ended. * * * LIKES COMPANY. Ernest Hambloch: Even when tit started in business on his own a German did not feel safe without a companion. On the front page of his . ledger were inscribed in large Gothic letters: "With God," Who was thus made an accessory to all transactions, honest or nefarious, therein recorded. In Nazi Germany God is no longer the Sleeping Partner. His place has been taken by the "Heil Hitler" at the end of every commercial letter. * * * BRAIN-TEASERS. Further solutions— . Scotty Morris, Andy Brown, Thomas, Polly Flinders, Bristol, J.J.R., Just Me (glad to know that you have come through so well), Uncle Cecil (good fishin'!), Little Trevor, K.M., and Keep Believing—all full marks. - Solutions of No. 2 only from Alice, Whalebone, Mercie, Mrs. and Mr. W.M., Slangwanger (Wanganui), Morningtori, Leslie and Gert and Daisy. Trier, Newcomer, and Maths worked out No. 1. In reply to Doubtful: Sorry that you disagree, but the official answer is always the official answer. Probably your failure is due to,not reading the conditions closely enough.

To several Postscripters: Thanks for problems submitted. One—that from W.J. —is, literally, a stunner. We ieveloped a wild headache merely examining it.

"PUNCH" BOWL. (Extracts from "Punch," AugustSeptember, 1914.) "War News in a.Few.Lies." (An unfortunate misprint.) '

With one exception all goods hitherto manufactured in .Germany, can be made just as well here—the exception is lies.

The new German National Anthem (we hope): "Deutschland unter Allies.'*

"Germans Driven Back" read an indignant old lady. "Driven, indeed! I'd have made them walk."

It is wrong to refer to the Germans as modern Huns. They are hot real Huns, but wrong Huns. Then there was the old lady who brought back the war map as not up to date because she couldn't find Armageddon marked on it. German PIES SHOT ("The Times"). Sound policy this. The enemy cannot fight without his commissariat. J.M. (Lower Hutt) looked these u|> for us.

THE WILL TO WIN. Once more resounds the bugle call! New Zealand's sons, whate'er befall, Will answer bravely. On the sand Of time 'tis written that they hold Aloft, grasped firmly in their hand, The torch of freedom. And are bold. To them we shall entrust the fight For honour, justice, reason, right. Nor will they fail, by land or sea, To strike a blow for liberty. Yet we Who lead Civilian life Are also comrades in the strife. Need we be told where duty lies When for our aid the hurt one crien Are we some craven spawn that fear To face our troubles when they'r*

near? Let resolute purpose march along . With head held high and footsteps

strong. For this is not the time to weep, Nor let cold pessimism creep To crush our hopes, disturb out sleep, For in our mind we've lost or W6fl, Before the battle's yet begun. Go! Bout the ruthless enemy Who seeks to gain ascendancy. / Our wrath 'tis well he should not brook. ' So, in our eyes a steadfast 160k, And on our lips a smile. But, chief— Fix in' the mind the firm belief That we shall march triumphantly With England on to victory, POLLY FLINDERS. ♦ • * THIS HITLER. Karl H. yon Wiegand, regarded by some as America's..most brilliant observer of foreign affairs, Writes of Hit. Adolf Hitler lives a life of constant mental, emotional, and psychic strain. No golf, no tennis, not even walks. No personal interests in athletics or sports, in place of exercise he has daily massaee He has been worrying lately .. about his figure. He has been putting on weight—apparently riot healthy weight, at that. • He is rather puffy. He tried a diet of nuts ana raw fruit. "I am suffering the tortures of hunger," he remarked once during the Nazi Party Congress in Nuremberg early in September, as he sat at the table nibbling at nuts. "I don't want to get fat. It would interfere with myjworking capacity." He entered Sudetenland ' with his army, carrying a pocketful of nuts. An official of his personal staff remarked to me the other day, "The Fuhrer can stow away an incredible quantity of that 'fodder' he eats." Adolf Hitler's habits are as erratic and irregular as his temper and restless moods. He may go to bed at eleven or at midnight; more 6ftett not until four in the morning. Usually, though not always, everybody in his official family has to be up with him. There may be guests. His entourage are put to their wits' end to entertain him, or rather, to relax him, divert his mind. There is music, dancing, and kinema films, of which he. is very fond. x [He sips a thin mixture of milk and cocoa, calls for peppermint tea, or drinks a mug of near beer with 1 per Icent. alcohol. It is a brew specially made for him by one of the Mutticl* breweries. That is as near a- he ever j comes to alcohol.