POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVIII, Issue 22, 26 July 1939, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

r ♦ . i Chronicle and Comment I BY PERCY FLAGE r When you come to think about it. 3 £1,000,000,000 would have been rather , too heavy a price merely to persuaday f Adolf to be a good boy. 7 * # * L . News heading: i ) SERIES OF SECONDARY s DEPRESSIONS. t With some primary ones to follow?! * '■ • * J Probably his political enemies re* . gard the charges of the former Ni.S.W., £ Minister of Local Government andi , Works as just more Spoonerisms. '** . * True Moohshine.—This mad world of i ' ours goes through all its cycle of evo~ • lutions and changes, like the moon,! . until it reaches the time when it dis-j • appears altogether; but it rises again t the third day, so that we are all moon-' s shiners, and cannot see it. " * •» *■ SO NOW WE bKNOW? Cable from Michael Joseph tot Walter: "What's the matter, with them Pommy financiers? Make reply' snappy." Wally's reply was: ""Ardeninz hearteries"! BINDY. #■ * * 1 SAGACIOUS PADDY. \ Surely Paddy the Wanderer, who • always awaited the green light before ; crossing (see obituary notice), must < have been that same dog who, observ- ; ing a red-faced gentleman driving a : car in a manner that left everything to • be desired, immediately notified the ■ traffic-inspector, by gentry pulling his 1 trouser-leg, and barking in the direc- • tion of the culprit. There can't be 1 two dogs, even Irish ones, as intelligent • as that. .* *•'■*' . ! I GOOD LUCK, ASHBURTON! j 1 (An acrostic greeting from' an ex- J '• A.R.U. rep. to the boys.) ' Ashburton—not strangers to alii ; Wellington are you. Some here have seen ' Harvests of golden hue, willows of green By the old river's side and out upon the plain. Up,'then, the Black and White! Raise it above the fight. Times we have worn it, too, but never again: Old are we, and finished; you must; carry on. . Never doubting but you will, We salute you, ASH-BUR-TON. W.O'R. . Johnsonville. * * * • BRAIN-TEASERS. More solutions by mail and tele-, phoned. The number of correct answers to No. 1 problem indicates that it was not exactly a hair-raiser, though not without its difficulties. Those people —and there were quite a few—who attacked it algebraically were held up more than those who had resort to plain arithmetic and the trial-and-errbr system or the "hit-or-miss" medium. N.A.G. (Normandale), a newcomer, managed No. 1, but missed three names in No. 2. So did Wallace M. Bell, ."Ex-Aussie," and "Torn-Torn." "Sammy" had both "in the bag" early on Saturday evening, but could not raise us oa the telephone .. . number 26-265. M.T. (Heads) (your "private, car" imitations amused us) managed the double, as did our friend "Scotty Morris.'* "Joynt," T.M., "Elsa," "Weldon," "Bon ( Jour," S.S., and "Okay" ("Up the^ Line") unravelled the hidden names of famous men. "Mallee" asks for a change in No., 2, suggesting a return to bouts rimes. We have one or two more Ttiew ideas t<r try out before that happens. How ever . LIMERICKS. (GALS CALLED SAL.) Introducing our aunt, Sal Piglossis, Who sported a beet-red proboscis? j She seldom was seen Playing bridge, but was keen On that very wild game, naughts and1 crosses. There was a bright lass, Sal Amandsr,, Who would stretch on her roofless verandah Quite undressed, till the sun, Had completed his run, And just as completely had tanned 'er. '"c should like you. to meet Sal Magundi, Who was born on the eve of Whitsunday; Which was why old Dame Rumour, Declared that her humour Shocked Mr. and eke Mrs. Grundy. Salute a fair wench, Sal Utation, Who met her boy friend at the station; This free-going miss Gave the lad such a kiss That the crowd remarked, "What oscillation!" There was a dour dame, Sal Volatile, Who could spin a yarn brightly and nattily, But if stroked the wrong way (As her near-friends would say) She would give vent to scandal most cattily. OURSELVES. » * * INTIMATION. "Maggie Maioney."—A poem must have words—of course! "Whoozit." —Why not. "See the 'Conquered Hero Comes"? s "Boomerang" (Napier).—We had rather you sent the note to Mr. P. C Webb himself. "Feast."—Well, here you are. Bakers' Dance: That's where the "dough" is, and they "kneed" it. ' "Old Gentleman."—That quip has already appeared in this feature. "Milmay" (Northland) advises that Mr Savage is building a shelter from the cold, cold blast around his door up at his house. "I am sure he needs it," she adds. PB—Thanks for that teaser. It has not yet made its appearance here.| "Sammy" (Lower Hutt).—Our home| telephone number is 26-265. "Forespent."—Not for us : thank you., Several Postscripters. —We are, pledged not to reveal the identity of Melisande, who is one of our many; "discoveries" in this particular field. "Martonet" ("The Day Will Come"). —Your Der Tag is too mild. Make itj a hurricane with bomb-painted lurid, skylines and insatiable thunder and ( lightning, and then we'll talk about publication. F.F.T. —Agree with you that this t country is in a financial jam, butj neither you nor we can do.anything about it. C. (Palmerston North).—(l) No "whitefeather" verses or pars, thank you. (2) We h&ven't volunteered yet, but wait till our gardenways are what i they ought to be and our newlypurchased mashie niblick is under control! "Theodora" (Plimmerton).—Glad you like Col. 8. We do not pay for verse j printed, not being a Walter Wlnchell ior a "Hi" Phillips. M.L. (Mornington).—Good wishes reciprocated.