POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVII, Issue 139, 15 June 1939, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle ana Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE Televisionary. «• * * Hitler is a great believer in moral re-armament —for the other fellow. *:- * * . . Yes (for a change), Melisande. We think those carefree motorists on the ' Hutt Road may fairly be. called mudlarks. *v » * * • The poet who praised "the keen exalting beauty of these days of winter" can never have suffered from chil- . blains. "x/ Headline — DARK CLOUDS OVER EUROPE. Just as well Mr. Chamberlain still has hie umbrella. It might rain. HORSE LAUGHTER. At a recent korero in Wellington one of the speakers mentioned that the Southland Racing Club secretary had remarked facetiously that he would be very pleased to pay the Social Security tax if the mares could get the maternity benefits! •k- * * MOST OBSERVANT. Dear Percy Flage,—Yesterday I was told of an observant young man of five summers whose parents recently moved into a Government house not 100 miles from Hastings. On seeing his father catching flies with a vacuum cleaner he asked,. "Daddy, are you allowed to do that in a Government house?" Z.P. * «• * INFORMATION DEPARTMENT. P.H.—All I have been able to discover about velvet is that it is a silken textile fabric said to have originated in the Far East about the beginning of the fourteenth century. The magnificent textures of medieval times were Italian. The earliest sources of European artistic velvet were Lucca, GenoaFlorence, and Venice. This note doesn't seem to supply what you wanted, but it may put you on the track. D.G. —That was a tough one, but with, the aid of a friend we managed to run. it down. Over 300 years ago the English farthing was called a harrington. It was so called from Lord Harrington, to whom James 1 granted a patent (1613) for making them of brass. "Drunken Barnaby" says: Thence to Harrington be it spoken. For namesake I gave a token To a beggar that did crave it. Ben Jonson had this reference: "I will not bate a Harrington of the sum." Hope this meets your requirements. « •■•■•• BRAIN-TEASERS. More telephone calls, more evidence of mental strain, more solutions. Gasmask wrestled with the third quadruped until he was on the point of collapse, but ultimately triumphed, Miramar Mug landed No. 1 and seveneighths of No. 2. "I spent four hours 'kidding' the third beastie to leave its lair" (he explains) "but it can starve so far as lam concerned." G.S.M. calls No. 2 "the big headache"; he corralled all the animals. J.M. (Lower Hutt) scores with No. 1, but so far three animals have eluded him. (By the way, all are wild.) M.W. (thanks . for that economical mushroom recipe) hovers on the edge of solving No. 1 and clues out No. 2. Yorky (Palmerston North) ("I think this is the best lot you have given us up to the present") comes out with flying colours, and for good measure sends us a list of jumbled English towns. '^Scruffy,' who had a gap in No. 1, has at last discovered the sixth animal's name. No. 1 still has him somewhat tied up. "Ecurb" (Palmerston North) fails on No 1 after some strenuous arithmetic, as does "Newcomer" (Wanganui), who is two short in No. 2—-the tantalising third and the disarming fifth. • D*a"a managed No. 1 between work at the office and domestic chores, but at latest advices she, too, had been defied by "candie," which is not so sweet as it sounds. . * «. Well brethren, there are yet two days to go before the bell rings. No heel-taps. .JO * * MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. Brrr! Ain't it cold! Thank 'Eaven I've got ie> Me winter woollies, an' they re ot. They keep me warm from wind-A-rain, , , . An' are most colourful, though plain. What could we do without the sheep (Also the ewes) whose wool dotli keep , , Mankind from many cares- n -ills, . Like the plumbago, flues, an chills, An' those pneumatic pains what wrecks The muscles on the spot marked X. Thank Gawd for sheep! Dear, who would be Without red flannel? As for me I always 'aye it round my back For to protect my lumber* trac'— (I read that in a magazine). An' ever since I 'aven't been Tied up in knots as some folks are Who get their med'eine at the bar. Talk'in' Uv drink—one flight larst week Bill staggered 'ome. 'E couldn t speak, , , j +v,_. But spluttered round-'n'-round tho i room , Until I smacked 'im with the broom, At which 'c turned in wild surprise An' fixed me with 'c's damp sad eyes, An' 'iccuped, swayin' left-'n'-right: "Right o . . . I'm—leavin' you—ter

night, „ An' you won't (hie!) see me no more, An' started orf to reach the door. At that I grabbed 'c's coat an' said: "No nonsense, now. You get to bed. 'E got! An' while 'c slept I wrote To Flage's editor a note Condemning booze; an' do you know. It was turned down. That was a blow I never shall forgive "The Post . . . Full steam a'ead, an' pass the toast. * Lumbar tract. * -:t * 'POSSUMS. We had an unusual and entertaining experience last evening. Round about 8 o'clock we arose from our easy chair to investigate the weather outlook. Switching on the portico light, we opened the hall door. In doing so we startled two darkling creatures * who had parked themselves next to tlie doormat. At our approach they up and trotted in Indian file across the path and disappeared down the slope. •Possums. We have often seen and heard these nocturnalists outside our gate (where the Botanic Gardens are) but never before had they become so intimate as this. Suddenly the explanation came to us. On the rim or the slope there is a lithe, strong apple tree facing the porch. <Jp \tll two Ot*>s ago it carried twenty-five nice richlycoloured Stunners of which we were genuinely proud. These we had picked when we discovered three well-chewed cores in the adjacent long grass. The furry robbers had sneaked along as usual last night for another supper, only to find the cupboard empty. But why they sat on our front doorstep with the hall light flaring baffles us, 'unless it was that they had formed themselves into a deputation to lodgf a protest against our stinginess,