POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVII, Issue 102, 3 May 1939, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

A.C. —I see the registration fee for a woman is less than same] lor a dog. Boy, oh boy! Why keep a dog? * * » That cut in meat should help the German people to realise that after all they don?t know on wMch side their bread is buttered. * . * * 'Tis said that many workers sought the beer halls immediately Hitler left for the Lustgarten.. A case of temporary abeeration, n*> doubt. * •". • Cheerio comme^' In taking up his residence in Norm Land, maybe Mr. Savage, copying Saint Hitler, is retiring to rest in 'the clouds. « # * Henry: The history of Ireland can be divided into three eras. \ It has already passed,, through the Pagan and Christian eras, and is now in *&• Devilera. ,*. * * INTERROGATION. ' Is Adolf."S. Hitler Getting ibigger or littler? BLOGDEN GNASH * * # DON CAN TAKE IT. Dear 'Percy Flage,—Did you notica on the, newspaper placards displayed round/the shop fronts last week this— LARWOOD SPEAKS AT LAST. BRADMAN SLATED. Would you tell us in your column, wjnether this is the same Larwood% whom Don slated for over 100 runs at one time.—Yours faithfully, , • CURIOUS. * * . * BRAIN TEASERS. More newcomers to the b.t. circle: four by telephone yesterday, and all winners. S.W. (Khandallah) started it off, and he was trailed by W.S. (there's a coincidence), No Headache (Thorndon) and Northlander (a lady). P.H. (Kilbirnie), who has had a racking time working on the income tax and imports forms, also 'phoned her solutions. By mail came G.H. (No. 1), R.J.W. (No. 2), Billy B. (No. 1), L. E. Mentry (No. 1), and "Nyne," who missed with the first, and advises that she is having a do-or-die struggle with the missing words. A young lady of admirable determination is "Nyne." , * * * COURTESY? I looked at you, and found a world created, Embitterment and chaos took their flight, You were my star, my hope, my only haven, I looked at you and followed in your light. You saw me and you raised a hand in greeting, The sun came out and all the world was gay, Your smile lasted but a single second, Yet in that while you stole my heart away. You looked at me and I have not ceased praying That all our lives you'll look at mo like that, But, darling, please, I pray, next time you meet me, Have courtesy enough to raise your hatt ENDY BROWN. * * * THIS BALL GAME. . v Dear Percy Flage,—Going to London —the matter of a ball, suitable for a certain use, calls for consideration. Out of your capacity for supplying information, can you advise whether a ball should be obtained before departure, paid for in New Zealand currency, and carried at the risk of loss? Or, alternatively, should it be bought in London? In the latter case would one be involved in the intricacies of exchange restrictions and the effect on our London funds? Perhaps, however, your available works of reference may show that the relative game has lost favour and, in that event, you may refrain from answering these inquiries.—Yours truly, REBOUND. * - * » ROAD HOG'S FAREWELL. "Men are not entitled to get drunk and get into a car. They are not going to do it, or, if they do so, up they go sky high." (Mr. Semple, Minister of Transport.) My beautiful, my beautiful (it was the _A.T*3b*s cry) • ■' I'm told that if I ride in thee I'm bound to go sky high, For Semple's dreadful choice is mine: either I cease to steer Thee rocketing along the roads, or I must give up beer. My beautiful, my beautiful, forever* gone the day When you and I set out at eve pedestrians to slay. . •Twere hard indeed to give thee up, thou'lt slay no more, I fear In sober stranger hands, but ah! I cannot give up beer. No more the old men wilt thou crash • with all they wing-ed speed, Nor catch the infant out of school—a ■juggernaut indeed, The days of 20 crawling miles for thee are very near— I'd like to keep the dear old bus, but ' cannot give up beer. "Highland Park" writes: I cut this from an Australian paper some tune ago In view of the proposal to have higher speed on the roads the line* may be of interest for your column, which I like very much. * * * THE "OLD" SCHOOL JERSEY. They boarded a No. 9" tramcar with a devastating rush reminiscent of an All Black forwards' rush of the far "nineties" ... six rollicking boys 3 ust escaped from the restraints of school are carrying the school jersey to play their first match of-the season in. The usually quiet confines of the car resounded with "loud speakers." _ "My jersey is a 'dinger,'" cries one. "Mine's a corker," claims another. "I can easily tell mine," ruefully asserts one "for it has a patch right in the front." He looks crestfallen under the disdainful glances of his companions. Obviously it is no more than an old "polishing rag" in their estimation. It was time to come to his rescue. "It is not the jersey, but the 'man* who is in it, that counts," put in the stranger encouragingly. 'Til say it is," they came back in chorus. The -'old" school jersey became a thing of beauty to the hitherto crestfallen one. "The daring deeds he would perform in it." The vociferations ascended to a deafening crescendo. It was too much for the tram conductor. "Here," he commenced sarcastically. "There is a hospital up at Newtown, and the sick patients there like to have quietness. You're disturbing them!" The jersey bearers looked doubtfully at one another —then subsided. Apparently this tram conductor had seen little college or school Rugby, to be dismayed at the mild demonstration At Courtenay Place they proved their mettle. All gave up their seats to adults—like little gentlemen. The stranger awarded them full points. G.F.