POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVII, Issue 48, 27 February 1939, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY aAGE

High C^ste ... . high cost (7000 guineas to wit). ~ "It's no trouble for Wellington to get a breeze up," comments "Windy Bill." • « * We much like the name of "tinheavens" for the London air raid shelters, seeing that war is hell. • »..■*. 'Tis said that any cameraman who snapped the almost hairless II Duce would hear from him! A bald pronouncement, wey presume. • # • Memo.—One can't do a hanguva lot pf thinking with lusty carpenter* smashing nails into things outside one* window. KNOW THE LAW. The Prime Minister, who is the head of the legal machine that makes the laws, recently confessed that "he did riot know the legal position," and yet everyone is bound to know the law, because "ignorance is no excuse." Why should the Prime Minister be excused any more than anyone else? REASON. • *■■■;■■• BRAIN TEASER. Saturday's little problem arient a word of ten letters evoked four phone calls on Saturday evening. • The first j arrived at 5.30 fronvP.H.L., who found what was wanted in a quarter of an hour—and this was his first attempt. Not far behind was "O'L," who properly reminded us that we had omitted her pen name from the list of solutions the previous week. This was due, we explained apologetically v to the fact that her phone call reached us when we were in the bath, ruminating on matters of high import (not imports). Third in the running was "Alberta" (Wadestown), another newcomer, who finds (she says) "great interest in Col. 8." Finally, "Northlander" arrived; he startled us by telling us that his good lady had torn the hidden word from its moorings in a minute or so. ' The . c I U e—"a" as second letter —helped the solvers. . \ *'■■■.•■ * IT AIN'T GONNA RAIN NO MOWER! Dear Flage,—A Scots friend of mine,. who lives in Wha Street, Lyall Bay, has lately been very anxious about his grass plots. The grass has lost its sheen and refuses to grow, owing to lack of rain and too much breeze. He is very fond of pushing, his mower over it o' nights, and this lbng drought has got him properly down. The other evening I strolled round and found him most dejected—looking' all forlawn, in fact. I suggested that ..he whistle for rain. „„,'.-v "Wit whey wull Ah whustle?;'Jtte . asked—or something to that effect: I never could quite cotton on to ''~s)*■& Gaelic. _•,-,* "Well," I replied, "there V.only one tune for a Scotsman to,.whistle who wants to make hay of'&is grass/and who lives in Wha Street.* ; '" •„ , "And that is ?" ."•' . - r - - "Scots Wha Hay, of course, J. answered, then ran'for cover. L.D.A. . ■ * * ."' • INFORMATION DEPT. Dear Sir,—Would you kindly inform us through Column 8 as to which side the traffic in London keeps? I think I saw it in a paper that the London motorists take right-hand turns instead of the usual left-hand. I am a trifle vague as to the laws, so would you kindly oblige?— Yours sincerely, KAY JAY BEE. Silverstream. Here's No. 2 from the same reader:— We are having a very heated argument as to whether, if you are driving a motor-car up Cuba Street and come to the intersection of Cuba Street and Manners Street (James Smith's corner), it is possible at any time of the day to make a right-hand turn from Cuba Street into Manners Street.. •Would you kindly insert answer with the other reply, and oblige? Presumably our correspondent is referring to the roundabouts. British road traffic follows the same, rule as traffic i. here, i.e., it keeps to the left. Right-hand turns are permissible, as they are here, except for the roundabouts. A driver then must keep to the left all the time, following the circular stream till he reaches the turn down which he wishes to proceed. We have no roundabouts in New Zealand, but act on a right-hand turn rule. A turn from Lower Cuba Street into Manners Street is quite permissible. A signal to the control offlcer will prove effective, but if no control is in force , at the s time the turn should be made when opportunity presents itself. » » * DESERT ISLAND LIBRARY If I retire to a desert isle I hope to find a fertile soil. With hoe and rake to foil the weeds, I'll pack my bundle with choicest seeds. I'll delve and dig with right good will. Up the valley and down the hill.. I'd sow and reap as seasons came And go on living—well, just the same. Though you may digest a hearty tale One needs a "bite" to keep him,hale. The book would be an unfilled tome Which would go with me to my island home. I would fill this book which, when 'twas found, Would travel the old world round and round.« ; Knowledge I'd get from the Book of God And sustenance from the friendly sod. Now and again I would sit up late To pen a limerick for Column 8. M.A.C«t • * -' * "USELESS" MONEY. Dear Sir,—l was pleased to see in Col. 8 that you enjoyed your holidays, and I hope you had no bother getting rid of your cash. I have read a few amusing experiences of returned tourists who have been yisiting overseas, and who apparently have-,had too much of what they describe as useless New' Zealand money. I have never suffered from this dreadful complaint. None of them own up to meet-, ing the fast con-men workers, though one of them did say that the tempo of workers over there was faster overseas than here. But" he did not say how much it cost him to find that out. Another found our silver useful only for slot-machines, so he cultivated the bad habit of going around Sydney chewing chocolate cream cakes for children. Then the experience of a senior super- : supervisor of the New Zealand Government Red-tape Department, who found the Aussies very courteous —one .. in particular. This gentleman did not let him away from the wharf before he inquired (so kindly) if he had any matches. It was quite different when be landed back in Wellington. Here he was met by Government officials with miles of red tape, and no one likes getting "hoist with one's own petard. Nevertheless, it wasn't cricket for him to complain s; bitterly aftef the years he had dished it out to other people. I dog't think this gentltI man would make a good diplomat. ! ".Yours sincerely.