POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVI, Issue 63, 12 September 1938, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Sir Walter Scott was 6ft, but there have been other men of equally high. standing. * « * If there are 3,000,000 Russians massed on the Western frontiers ready tot action, we wonder who counted them. *.* ■ * If the totalitarian natrons do not grasp the torch of war it will be because they are afraid of burning their fingers. * * * \ Heavy penalties are provided against ■ professional tipsters in New South, * Wales. That's one for the New South i Welshers. \ * # * i How comes it that Mr. S. G. Holland , loosed some of the National Party's j thunder the other evening? We un--3 derstood that Mr. Adam Hamilton led -. the Nationalists. * ■» » ■ -MAKE THE WORLD LAUGH." j Dear P.F., —Suggest all old men over '. fifty who have-not served the colours should be called on first for war so , as to increase their experience and i wisdom. It is only by personal and . "practical experience" that a ripe judg- * ment can be formed. But don't teli [ them that "experience teaches fools," = for "a good mug never tumbles." \ SENEX. * * * '. "SAKU BONA!" ! "If Hitler wants to go to war with ! Czechoslovakia he must convince his L public that it is a war of defence and ! not a war of aggression." '■ Which reminds me, at one time in. ; the.South African War it was a crime : to kill a sheep, meat being rationed. ' One day a hungry Tommy was caught : redhanded beside a sheep with its " throat cut. As the officer approached, " the ♦Tommy wiped the knife and said, " "There, that'll lam you to attack me.* { IKONA. * # - ♦v J WHAT A CAR! I .Dear Flage,—Did you notice in the list of German national awards for 1938 that the brilliant motor-car designer Dr. Porsche won the second , prize for his design for the "people's 1 car"? When Herr Hitler decided that Italy was winning too many car races, 1 Dr. Porsche was commissioned to de--1 sign a super-racing car. He set to and p produced the Auto-Union for a comt bine of firms of Audi, Wanderer, i Horch, and D.K.W. The Auto-Union * was, and still is, entirely different from anything else raced, since the engine p is behind the driver and in some c models the gearbox is behind the back ' axle. Auto-Unions have won races at " over 160 m.p.h., and have exceeded 250 v m.p.h. ON THE ROAD! j "What a car—that's an Auto-Union— that was."—Yours, as ever, [ . , ■ C. E. SLADE-JONES. . * * * \ APPROPRIATE SURNAMES. t The list of appropriate surname* c given in your column on Saturday re- ; minds me of one I saw on a nursery- , man's signboard at St. Albans; near E London. It was John Cutbush,' topiary r expert. His name and the job attached ■ ) to it must have descended from the : time when surnames first came into 1 use. . - Then in our own country there is a - good one, at Lower Hutt —Lees and - Co., wine merchants, which makes one E remember "wine on the lees, strong" 2 wine which maketh glad the heart of 1 man." t K.K. 5 By telephone from Ellis (Feilding): - In Australia—Perth, to be more specific f —there was a nurseryman named - Flowers, a boot repairer named Schu--1 maker, and a baker named Baker. - Brisbane once boasted a tram con* 3 ductor named Pulley and an under- - taker establishment run by Graves ? and Son. *'■ * • * RARITY? (Sheer Nonsense.) War is just nothing but blanky barbarity. • ' (That one we thought of last night in the- bath.) Some girls have hair that is ginger or carroty. (Nice boys should not—it is said. 2 —cross their path.) Some people give to, and others needj 3 charity. (That is another bright thought you should know.) s M.P.s broadcast with too d . » . efc " little clarity 1 (Still, we suppose such things giv« 'em a glow). I Blest among words is that term, ' solidarity (Labour lads learn it when awfully '•> young). * Plutocrats prosper per pale pop*> * larity c (Many—most strangely—go. earthr ward unhung). 3 . ■ 1 Rank ostentation's the height of vut-- > garity (Mark how some Socialists' strut and parade). 1 Hard liquors make both for h . . 4 > and hilarity. I (Our favourite tipple is hot lemon* ' ade). i What can be done with a word like 3 "disparity." , (Out of the nowhere a raucous ; voice cries: , "Treat it, old hoss. with suave,, silent sevarity*, Then get off the ether, for Fatheu Time flies.") 'Something wrong here. P.F, * * • SEEING NEW ZEALAND. Bruno Lessing, New York newspape*. man, has been looking us over, and ' here are several examples of his commentaries: — New Zealand, under its Labour regime, is probably the clearest and fairest example of how Socialism, works out in practice, in all the world. Neither Russia nor Germany can compare with it. The New Zealanders are 1 a sane and fair people. ... They tell me about cav§s illuminated by glow-worms. I'm sure that they are not as well illuminated as the Great White Way in New York, Piccadilly Circus in London, or the Place de l'Opera in Paris. Not that I have anything against glow-worms, but I don't even care for any kind of illumination unless it illuminates the mind. And I doubt if even the New-Zealand glow-worms claim to do that. On the other hand, there is them, as would b© thrilled by a cave lit up by glowworms. ... Seeing New Zealand is strenuous business. The scenic background, of course, is old. but the life, even of most of the Maoris, is modern. You behold a nation in the making. An educational spectacle for the young. (Leave the effete countries to me.) And if you like sports, here is a par»idiM.