POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVI, Issue 6, 7 July 1938, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Les. Hassett has it! • /. '. • ♦ • News Note.—"Hi Lung adroitly simulated unconsciousness. . . ," Malungering, in other words. • • • We hear that Arctic King's performance on Tuesday left a lot of good judges quite cold. • « ♦ Then there was the man who picked five winners at Trentham, and would have-backed the sixth, only he had no money left. ■ ■ » '- ■«■ . • CRYPTIC TELEGRAM. "Rita" (Seatoun) sends us tias one: • A Scotsman had to send an urgent telegram, and not wishing to spend more money than necessary, he wrote. ; this:— Bruises hurt erased afford erected analysis hurt too infectious uncon* scious. ' The solution runs to 19 words. What. are they? * * * * WE BLUSH. Cher "Monsieur Persiflage," We miss your cheerful page. And every day we miss you more, and more. Without your quips and pranks, We'll become a lot of cranks, And life for us will soon be just a bore! . We wish you better health, We hope your cheery self Will soon be back again to light our '" way. . '' For, of happiness and fun When you're missing, there is none. That's not the way to end a "perfect day." (Wellington's wettest, so far.) Your old friend, HUGH MOR'IST. ACKNOWLEDGMENT. • *Lo everybody. Here we are again. Our obituary notice (we assume there is one somewhere) is back in the pigeon holes (doctor's orders), and we indite this from between blankets (also doctor's orders) with a triumphant sun streaming through window panes on_ to our. desk—a breakfast tray. Wa haven't talked to you for a fortnight, which seems a long time, and the-only part of the garden within vision is a pompous acacia which will burst into bloom almost any day now. Our convalescence really began over a week ago ... wheit the 'phone became unusually busy. Nice people like yourselves worked it to such purpose that it developed a hoarseness unusual . in such a machine. However, it had! no sympathy from us ... and you may guess why. Thank you, everybody. INTIMATIONS. Mrs. Squeers.—Thanks for those additional brain-teasers. They will coma in handy. _ E.B.—Glad to have that "word golf* game. We'll try it out on postscripters presently. Scotty Morris.—And to you—-thanks,* for the brain-teaser. A.S. (Palmerston North) seeks particulars of the old figure puzzle whereby, one's age can be ascertained if the date-of birth is known; ■; ■ r ou-; Espion:4-Trifie too realistic for this." demure column, thanks all the same. J.W.—You get full marks for. both. Good wishes reciprocated. " • ■" •■ No Name.—Too well-known tobeaa- . republishing. ; . ' ' Interested.—Win ascertain for you as soon.as the opportunity occurs. "Epee."-r-Here goes— On yonder hill there stood a cow, If it hasn't gone, it's* there right now. Your P.S., "She's a great column,* gave us quite a kick. "Simple Simon/—Only narrowljr « missed publication. Try again. . Bevertey Woolf.—As you sound like a quite nice little girl, Beverley (or is it a boy?), here you are them— On the big fight last week, Germany had ho television of it, because she thought she had a good smelling! Bingo ("Big Boy") .—"ls this good, bad, or indifferent?" Yes, it's something of each. ■ * ~..#■■■• MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. What's wrong with Fiage? Why arsfc me, pray; It ain't my doin', anyway. Am IVs -keeper? If I am Then you're a tin uv gooseberry jam, 'E's no concern, uv mine. I do The* job 'c's gave me good-'n'-true, . An' dam* small thanks for it, ole dear. The which, goes on from year to year. An' that's a fact. I've gotta lunch That Flage is losin' uv 'c's punch.. . 'E's gettin',sorft—not in 'c's 'cad— But when 'c 'as to go to bed To dodge the winter, so to speak. It's hobvious 'c's gettin" weak, Not to say frail. An' yet I feel, Knowin' the ole scput 'cad to-'eel, That far from bein' not so fit, - 'E's playin' possum quite a bit.. I 'aven't wrote to 'im or rung 'Im up a tall; I've 'eld me tongue, Becos when I've been ill-'n'-crook 'E ne'er as much gave me a look Uv sympathy, or sent some flowers Or gifts to cheer my silent 'ours, Like Bill did years ago when I Was struck by Wetta dry, 'E brought me roses from nex* door (They didn't mind), an', what was more, Would bring me bags uv acid drops s('E sneaked 'em from the grocer shops). Which always was my sweetest, tooth* Since my wild 'arem-scarethem youth. Uv course I don't wish Flage no 'arm; Life still for 'im must 'aye its charm* But 'c's a funny sorta bloke ... You'll 'aye to pay, ole thing . . . I'm broke. EXPLANATION. We repeat the inquiry of "No Name** (Upper Hutt) because of the explanation which has come to hand from the Post and Telegraph Department. "No Name" wrote: Here's a matter I would like you to look into. I have, a friend who has returned to his * native land after four or five years' sojourri in Australia. He obtained a nice job, and went along to the P. and T. office to get an unemployment form —or whatever they call it. He explained to the man behind the grill that he had come back to New Zealand after a considerable absence. The official referred him to a Department in the Government Buildings,1 as he might be liable, under some new legislation passed in 1936, for four years* dues, if he had had a book be« fore he left this country. Is it possible that that could happen, and how, and why? Thanking you. Here's the Departmental explanation:— . Prior* to the passing of the Employ* ment Promotion Act, 1936, a person temporarily absent from New Zealand was liable for instalments not exceeding four in number which fell due during such absence. Since the passing of that Act a person who returns to New Zealand is liable for instalments which fell due during his absence, unless he can establish that while he was absent he ceased to be "ordinarily resident" in New Zealand*