POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXV, Issue 58, 10 March 1938, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

It is curious how sensitive to rain isome watersiders have become since the present regime attained to office. * * • News note: "The'peace of Europe is in Mr. Chamberlain's hands." We wondered where the deuce it had gone to. * *. '*. They used to be termed war-mongers.-A more appropriate name-today would be war-mongrels—otherwise, mad dogs of war. * * • The Government has ' ( at least one perfect alibi. The fall in' the pheasant birth-rate cannot be attributed to the. rise in the cost of living. • . ■ ♦: . ♦ ■ EASTER ( CAMPS. So always scout, before you go, Just dowse your fire with H2O, On litter,'too, just keep an eye, ■ , , And leave the Camps all applepie. BATHING TOWEU • • • NOT 'ARF THEY WON/T! Heard from 2YC last evening;— "That was played by the Tiger Ragamuffins and recorded by Parlia-. ment." Well, so was Sandy's adventure'with , the Nudist Club—but they won't . broadcast that one! , ARSENIC ARNOLD. « *,■■..» ; INFORMATION BUREAU. ' Carl (Waipukurau).—As Foreign t Minister, Anthony Eden received ", £5000 a year. He still has enough to.keep the wolf from the door. A little ' while ago his father-in-law left him " £5000 a year, and left £150,000 out- ' right to Mrs. Eden. I Mrs. P.G. (Karori).—(l) The P.E.N. ■■- Club is a branch of the mother body 1 in England. The letters stand' for 1 poets, editors and essayists, and nov-. r elists. - (2) You have to be nominated 3 and produce evidence of your literary t qualifications. The movement is now 1 world-wide. "Poetry Lover."—Shall endeavour to - locate those lines. i "Just John" (Newtown).—When the t Prime Minister is absent, the Hon. t Peter Fraser presides at Cabinet Meet- ' ings. i * • • I FROGS' "TIP." Dear Mr. Flage,—lt is strange ,what ' small things at times "lead on to fortune." In the dim and somewhat distant past there lived by the side of apond in a small town in N.S.W. • "character," whose whole life chronologically and otherwise revolved around the Melbourne Cup. -If a; date had to1 be fixed and it was refer- ■ red to "Harry," he would say: % ,"l re- . member it. It was in the year that . Carbine, The Grafter, Bravo, or some other celebrated equine won the Mel- [ bourne Cup. He was seated one evening' in his shack meditating on the . j chances of the entrants in the coming ' Melbourne Cup; his friends the frogs in the pond were on the air: "C-o-c-o-s. \ G-r-a-f-t-e-r, G-r-a-f-t-e-r." "Gee, they I are telling me," he decided, "Grafter, .it is." He put- all he had, down to . the "proverbial shirt", on The Grafter, at long odds, and won a small fortune. '. „: , ( CON. READER. - Lower Hutt; » i* • ; ./BRAIN TEASER. Scotty Morris's whisky problem tied . up quite a few solvers, but the "regu- '. lars" managed to work it out success- • fullyr P.IAH. (Kilbjrnie) was in first with'the correct answer. She writes: ' "The whisky cost £3 12s. 6d, which cer- [ tainly gave the barman the better of the deal. But who was the owner of I this particular hotel, the barman or i another? Because my husband certam- , ly wouldn't patronise that pub." Next ; -. in order comes "O'L.," who thinks, the ' purchaser must Have been suffering : from "the morning after the night before." As "Rita," who comments that. . "truly a fool and his money are soon , • parted," was third on the list with her ; solution, the fair sex had a triumph. . "Miramar" was a good fourth. He asks ■to "please keep them (the. brainteasers) going as long as possible. ' (We'll do our best.) Other correct solutions were received :fronv D.J. (Lyall, Bay), "Potty," "Your Shout, "Frisk," and Emile. x , • There'll be another problem on Saturday. , x *" •■ * MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. •Lo loverly. 'Twas tough you missed Our party—but 'old out yer fist.' ~ I've bought you jest for ole times sake . Some of our silver weddin' cake— The best thing of its kind I've struck, . Sleep on it, an' it brings you luck. . Corst us a fair bit, too, I'll say. ' But by-n'-large,-it paid its way. We asked more people than we knew As more 'igh social roosters do. An' they all came. You should of seen, The presens whatk 'they brought. I mean.. They did us swell, upon my word. So well my hindmost soul was stirred. We got our money's worth alright. The whole expenses was but slight, . Cons;d'rin' everythink. I'm proud, . An' don't mind sayin' so out loud.1 I'mloqkin' forward to the time When golden weddin' bells'll chime For me-'n'-Bill. By then,, you see, We'll 'ave* gran'-childrun. at our knea (With any luck). , Talkin' of which, Djer know, I always gets the stitch When the art union prizes seem • To dodge us 'ere. Orft do I dream Uv landing that 2000 quid " Or the 500. If I'-did - I'd paint this burg red, white-'n'-blu^ An' green—for Bill is Irish, too — An' rush to 'Ollywood for to get In touch with Goldwing . . . 'e's a pet; Tubby, an' sayin'- funny things What tickle cops-'n'-coots-'n'-kings To Sammy's absalute surprise . . . Look at that stout bloke makin' eyesj ♦ « * ' . SNIPPETS. (With acknowledgment to "Collier's:") Scores of famous persons in history could not write legibly. Some of Shakespeare's work never .has oeen. definitely deciphered. Several of Nathaniel Hawthorne's manuscripts remain unpublished today because no ■ one has been able to read them. And Napoleon's letters were almost in a class by themselves,. some of them being mistaken for maps of battlefields. The greatest riot in history over a decision in a sporting event occurred during a chariot race in the Hippodrome of Constantinople in 532 A.D. The fight lasted several days, a large part of the city was destroyed, and 30,000 citizens were killed. In eighteenth century England political corruption was carried •on openly. Men wishing to buy Govern- . merit positions and office-holders having tham for sale advertised in the newspapers. Prices ran as high as £3000. . In 1880 Tsar Alexander II of Russia • was nearly killed by a bomb in his great winter palace in St. Petersburg. The guards searched the thousand-odd rooms, but did not find the anarchist. However, they did discover, in an unused boudoir on an . upper floor, a peasant and his cow. Both had lived there for a number of years.