POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXV, Issue 19, 24 January 1938, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAG!

Those hardy beach bathers who faced the wind on Saturday had plenty of grit. *■ # * Horses that make a habit of arriving late should be encouraged to start earlier. ' * a » Kings of the past had their favour ites, but they were not so fickle a> those at Trpntham, » . .#: * In the U.S.A. it is when a man is "ii| the red" that, paradoxically, he is feel« 'ing awfully blue.' « « * Warning to young men weekending^-* Remember, many a peach has a. hearl of stone. *■ » * "• Then there was another Scot whd gave as «ood as he got—but he wji a pugilist. FINGER-PRINTS. In reply to, "Wager" (Plimmerton) .— You win. No two sets of finger-print* have ever been found alike. Thf chances of duplication are estimated at from 1 in 640,000,000,000 tq 1 in a bil» lion trillion (that's followed, by 39 zeros). It may interest you and your friend to know that in only one -way can the prints be permanently obliterated —by having the sweat duct! destroyed. This method entails a verf painful operation, though some Am.erican gangsters have endured the sufr fering m the hope of escaping 3U» tice. *• # * TRENTH.AM' SIDE-SHOWS. Two amusing incidents seen at Trent ham on Saturday: Scene I.—Overwrought punter shaking fist at Pakanui at finish of City / Handicap as : that 'ornery animal ambled leisurely past the post well behind the field: "You cow! You rascal! You—!!—Oh! you—!" Words failed him Scene 2.—lnebriated gentleman dano« ing solemnly to hand music aecom* panied by a small child just as solemn* }y, to huge delight of crowd- Th.e't»pgf seriousness of the man and the irinee cent .seriousness of the child were well contrasted. 1 x * VONK. * - f; * IT HAPPENED IN INDIA. .This is, a story for motpristfr-th«» wise as well as the foolish- X4i*t ■ month a motor-cyclist whq tried t<» bplt from the traffic cops on a main road, and who wpuld have gat away hat} not his girl pillion-rider screamed and begged him to stop, was fined. £1 and a guinea costs and prohibited from driving for six months. Accord* ing' to" the police, this lunatic ty eitf at a terrific speed, swerving from M4e to side and narrowly missing disaster —to others as well.as himself—on a busy r6*ad. In yet another case a woman motorist, acknowledging that she was drunk, drove her car "peacefully" into a ditch on a deserted country road. She was fined £10 and her licenoe was suspended for a year. How come? *f~ * x GAMBLING IN YEARLINGS. Says "Gloaming": "Your^jiote under that title was interesting, hut not quite complete. What about Miss Dorothy Paget, who seems determined that nothing shall prevent her- from leading in a Derby winner? She has spent two or three small fortunes to that end, but so far without success. She paid £ 10,000 for a. youngster which she named Tuppence. He lived ur to his name: the nearest he ever -went to winning a race was when he ran third in a small hurdle event. Nothing daunted, the lady follpwed .up Tup- ■ pence with a Blandford filly whicji cost her BpOO guineas. Remembering Tuppepce, Miss Paget ran her unnamed. After one promising effort the filly was retired to the stud without a victory to her credit. Last year Ml?* Paget gave 15,000 guineas for a son et Belstead. a colt sprung from an unbroken line of Derby winners foimded b,y old Carbine. Here's wishing Mt luck- ■* #.■.■•. THE MISSUS. "It's awfully good for woman's look* and spirits to receive ' a bunch tf flowers, even from her husba.nd.l « does wonders for what the French sa ably call 'morale."V-Rosita Forbes. I bought her a big hunch of flpwer^ But when I got home she said: "Good heavens! They saw you com* ing— " „ These flowers are just about deaq; So I spent a few shillings on chaea« lates Done up in a swanky box; But all I got was a good rating For spending so mu?h on the chocs. One day I brought home a kitten And wpndered if this would annoyBut she, just flung her- ar-ms right around me. And called me her *'hptcher hig boy! §0, Flage,' these lines will ju?t ?how you Rosita is not always right— You have to he careful with flower* . When your wife is a bit of. a bjt«| Your-s fraternally, I ; hub. Lower Hutt. » t • TRANSFORMATION. Dear Mr. Flage,—Do you know hew I can get in touch with QeneraJ Franco? I'm afraid I owe his. Unuttet* able Dreadfulness a most hun\bl« apology. There! I've gone and done it again! My blushes when I think of what I believed of him! (The ink doesn't look dried up or scorched, does it?) No wonder they want him to become Regent. The reason for my change of opinion? Well, I read #-* yes, at last I saw the real Franco* Listen, and join in my hero, worship, ''He is not tall, he is. a little heavy, hi* body is timid. Ah1- His glance is unforgettable, like that of all rave beings." (I didn't oatch what you said?) - *'A troubled and trembling glance, full of sweetness; the man is. delicious, and mysterious. . . . His forehead is beautiful . . . with feminine sensitiveness and delicious features. In the sm,il« of this warrior one sees, a woman's soul and a child's heart. The ravishing thing about Franco is his purity,"— Description of General Francq from "Candide." Paris, quoted by E. A. Mowrer. Well, queer things havp come out, of the Spanish cqnflict, but . , . heck!!! Did you ever hear of1 one Sir Lucius O'Trigger? .Then you'll remember his famous: "The quarrel is a very pretty one as it stands; we should only spoil it by trying to explain it." (Sheridan, "The Rivals," Act IV, sc. 3.) This seems most appropriate to the above-mentioned war, doesn't it? Can't you sec t*ie cartoon? Franco leering from a plane over . Guernica at a Russian in a tank near the city; a frightened Spaniard staring bemused at the debac}e^-and on. a slight hillock (lie ghost of bold Sir Lucius leaning nonchalantly o\i W9 gold-topped cane? When I can sketch . . .! Lower Hutt.