POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIV, Issue 15, 17 July 1937, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLACE

Add similes: As homeless as smoke. It would be real news to hear that some European country was busy preparing for peace, for peace. «• o » "Au Contraire."—And then there is this new type of advertising that sounds horribly cheap—but isn't. « * * In spite of Mr. Bruxner's praise, there are pastoralists over here who wouldn't be seen wiping their nosa on Germany's pocket handkerchief farms. ' MIDWINTER SCENE. The sea hath its hulls, Liners, tankers, and barques, But Port Nicholson's gulls They have Wellington's parks. * «• * INTIMATION. Concerning "'Star of India's" note ia last Wednesday's Postscripts: A num» her of replies to her request for information regarding survivors who were passengers on that old-time immi-> grant ship have been received, and will appear next week. The inquiry has brought forth / some material which should prove of interest to readers generally. UNDESIRABLES. An extract from one of my trade journals: Mother Snail was taking Baby Snail for a walk. They met Mother Slug, who was taking Baby Slug for a walk. Mother Snail said to Baby Snail; "Turn your head away, darling. Nudists!" Ever yours, 'ORACE. LIMERICK COMPETITION. As a winter weekend diversion limerick-making continues to be popular. The Kent example brought in just under seventy entries. Those who failed to attain print may have better fortune with this one, whose first lina runs— A wrestler by name Obadiah. Now, there's a topical subject, for which there are oodles of rhymes, from "byre" to "Zedekiah." And, to end the week appropriately, we publish the most individual Kent farmer limerick:— There was a young farmer of Kent, A trip to New Zealand he went; He is now the proud owner of forty* five acres, To some chickens, and cows; he attends. And is blest with a wife of good sense. K. A. ALLEN. # * * SCHOOL'S IN. Do you know that — 1. A Malay of Kuala Lumpur has been fined £3 with the alternative of two weeks in prison, for remarrying his wife from whom he \vas divorced last year? 2. A young Serajevo blacksmith, for a^wager, sneezed 716 times in succession in less than 20 minutes? 3. Presentation at Court has existed as the stepping-off point for girls and women in society for something over 200 years? -.4. The builders of theCunard-White Star liner No. 552, are finalising plans by which passengers will be able to have hot, cold, or tepid air in their quarters? 5. Durham has many curiously-named villages, which include No Place and Pity Me, but the strangest, of all in Linger-and-Die, a small village of 39 residents near Ferryhill Station? 6. According to official' statistics, there are 4,000,000 criminals in the U.S.A., in 1936 a murder was committed every 24 seconds, and no fewer than 13,422 murderers were brought to justice? , 7. The world's longest maritime airbase, at Portsmouth, will cost £1,221,452 and will make Portsmouth the first maritime air-base of the world? 8. Between April and September, 1936, 117,811 persons were killed or injured, and 151,341 vehicles were involved? . 9. The tea industry, now 100 year 3 old, one of the Empire's largest indu> tries, represents a capital investment of over £100,000,000? 10. Eight years ago there were only, a dozen squash rackets courts in London; today they number over 300? « * « OLD HOMES. Old homes among the hills! I love their gardens, Their old rock-fences, that our day; inherits, Their doors, round which the great trees stand like wardens; Their paths, down which the shadows march like spirits; Broad doors and paths that reach birdhaunted gardens. I see them gray among their ancient acres, Severe of front, their gables lichensprinkled, Like gentle-hearted, solitary Quakers, Grave and religious, with kind faces wrinkled, Serene among their memory-hallowed acres. Their gardens, banked with roses and with lilies — Those sweet aristocrats of all the flowers — Where Springtime merits her gold ia daffodillies, And Autumn corns her marigolds hi showers, And all the hours are toilless as the lilies. Old homes! Old hearts! Upon my; soul for ever Their peace and gladness like to tears and laughter; Like love they touch me, through tha years that sever, With simple faith; like friendships, draw me after The dreary patience that is theirs for MADISON CARWEIN. "SWINGER." In reply to "Slang-Bang": That term, "swinger," meaning in modern patois ("Isn't it—or he —a 'swinger'!"), something or somebody out of the ordinary, seems (it is only a theory of ours)', to go back to Robert Herrick, poet, pub-frequenter, and amorist. In his day a» favourite tipple was called "hops and heresy," which was compounded of nutmeg, ginger, cinnamon, and cloves. To this mixture Herrick alludes in a lyric which is at once poetry and a cookery recipe: Next crowne the bowle full With gentle lamb's-wooll; Adde sugar, nutmeg, and ginger. With store of ale too; And thus ye must doe To make the wassaile a swinger. The "lamb's-wooll" was the popular name for the pulp of apples (the "roasted crabs" of Shakespeare) which, floating upon the surface, bore a fanciful resemblance to tufts of wool. To the above spices, with the addition of cloves. "Merrythought" ascribes the redness of his nose in that extravasanza of genius, the lately revived,, "The Knight.of the Burning Pestle.",