POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIII, Issue 130, 3 June 1937, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Conimeril

Bt Perct Flack.

Today was one of.those rare days when a flagging enthusiasm deserved to be praised—not deplored. It is significant that so far the Abdalusian bulls have made no move to the interests'1 of peace in Spain. • • • Most gangsters are so yellow (it is said) that when they're shot they bleed lemon juice. •# • • Mr. Jordan's denial that >his speech on the Spanish question was bluepencilled reminds us that they seem to have too few blue pencils in Geneva. • * • Omadhaun.—J should say that one visitor who could stand a cool reception without developing a temperature would be the Prime Minister of Iceland, now on his way to New Zealand. MEBBE. ■ , Anent 'that English newspaper cor* respondent who was released aft** being ,a* prisoner in the hands of the rebels,' and who said that he was "expecting all the time to be taken but and shot," was lucky. . if he had been ia the hands of the Beds he, would probably have been not only "expecting' to be1 taken out and shot," he. would, have been taken out and shot. OBSERVER. INFORMATION DESK. In reply to "Honest Injun."—"The biggest field that ever started in a race in New Zealand?" We don't know, but we do know the record field for a flat race in England. .. There were 51 runners in the Beckhampton Plate, a five furlongs race for two-year-olds, at NewIbury a few weeks back. Th^ record under National Hunt rules is 66—in the 1929 Grand National. Despite the extreme' width -of the course, it was a near thing (said one journal) about packing them into line. Naturally more than' half the field lost its chance at barrier rise. •,« . • ' EDIBLE RECORDS. You can now literally eat your own ' words. Swallow a statement, stomach the -most learned lecture with th* ■ greatest of ease (says "Ripley Junior"). No need to stop there, even. For • maUer of pence you can dine on the voice of Caruso or Marlene Dietrich, or that of any other celebrity. Or you may prefer to get your teeth into one of. Beethoven's major symphonies, or bite off more hot jazz than you can chew. Ivan Eremeeff, sound engineer, has made all that possible. From special glass master-records, plates are now made in which the sound track of any desired recording is raised instead of being sunk. Such plates of these music and voice records are now pressed into moulds of half-set chocolate candy. When these are properly hardened they can be played on any gramophone and will reproduce faithfully. However, ihey don't last long— especially .once tin kiddies lay their hands on theml ? « •■..■..■■■ \ PERIFOX FAILS. America beat Australia in the Davii' Cup match', but the Yankee horse, Perifox, whose chances were highly assessed, failed to run into a place in the Derby. Had he won,.he would have been the first American colt to take the .world's greatest classic since the famous Iroquois- scored'i'n 1881. Tha success of Iroquois was wildly acclaimed in the States. - It became a national event, and most business men closed down for the day. (Remember how New Zealand and" Australia thrilled to Phar Lap's triumph at Aqua Caliente?) Fred .'Archer rode Iroquois. He was offered £10,000 in advance and a fat weekly salary if he would "exhibit" himself throughout America for. three months, but the deal fell down. Archer i was reputed to have won a fortune over Iroquois. There was then no ban against jockeys betting, and Archer was one of the heaviest plungers in England, especially on his own mounts. Yet despite the enormous tally of his wins, his fortune had dwindled when he died by his owr hand. • • • j MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. I'm disappointed, dear. You know The King George Fund what 'igh-'a'« low Sent lots uv money to? (I s'pose You'll do your bit along with those Who think like me?) Well, Sat'de* night; A brain wave set my mind alight: I'd make a big cake—rich, not plain. An' raffle it,- dear, in the Lane, - An* 'and >'the proceeds to the fund. ' But am I by a 'oodoo dunned? I'll say I was! It came up well, An' take my word, it did look swell With sugar flags (pink) set around The. edge. NexVday I found . , That Bill quite unbeknown to me 'Ad cut a fat slab for hees tea (Me being out for same). My, word! I 'ope none of the neighbours !eard Me slatherin' 'im. It would of mad* A bullock driver shrink afraid. I bought'two flags becos we could Afford it, an' beeds we should, 'Avin' a nest-egg; though it's.not (This tea it ain't too flamin' 'ot)A ostrich size . . . more like, I'd say, A bantam egg. But anyway, Little or big, we will not scamp Our dooty to the kids' 'Ealth Campt '_ We got to get a Al 'race In physic,, strong an' fuller/grace— All Blacks, an' wives to match suck men, , An' no one'sick, 'cept now-'n'-then Those folk inclined to eat too much An' gorge up sloppy foods-'n'-such. A nobile cause, this, an' I 'ear They'll bring in £60;000.clear If everybody do their bit An' makes a welter, dear, uv it. 'Ere's to the busy boys in charge ■►.. . 'Old on; I gotter ring up Flage. •* ' • ARE YOU ALLERGIC? Dear Flage,—We live and.learn. On reading in a scientific journal, "If eggs make you break out in a rash (no subtle allusion to present prices), if strawberries give you hives (without bees, or cream), if cats set you sneezing (not having boots or bricks),' you are allergic.'-' One's reaction is to sit up and take notice. This, apparently, is a fresh affliction sent to try mortals, similar to the'profits tax, and other "humours" of advanced statesman^ Ship. It is claimed that between 10,000,000 and 15,000,000 Americans are allergic to something. Many worthy, and unworthy, citizens have been labelled "lethargic" at times, but it is doubtful if they reached to that vast number. Amplifying .the subject, the information is supplied: "Every time a woman in St Louis eats an onion, she gets blue spots on her skin." (Maybe her husband sees red at her breath.) Again: "Every time a boy who lives in Brooklyn, New York, chews gum: he starts to cough'and sneeze; He is sensitive to chicle" (not .tickle). One unfortunate child was found to be allfergic to twenty-eight different things, including potatoes, eggs, salmon, black, pepper, chicken feathers, cockleburs, and ragweed pollen. Safety in-num-bers has its exception, too. If of two evils choose the least; which to choose? To be allergic or too . lethargic to "catch" either? '_.... ' v. G.IV