POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIII, Issue 101, 30 April 1937, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

Bt Percy Flage.

M. Prosperity's on the way—but which ' ; v way? . . '■..' ■■'. , .' ■'■■ : • ■ ; ■ :.■-■. ■If Hitler had wedded Pola Negri it ■ would have meant, for him,: , "Mem :,. Kampf" all over again. , : ;■ ■■'.*. :• : '■' :■'♦ ■ '■■' "'" ;: ■■.'..' .•■-'... .It is sincerely to be hoped that the V: 'report on our. horticultural industries :.;. will bear fruit—and vegetables. : . >'' '' " •» : '■ * .. .' ♦' ■■ . ■■' '', . '■' .■'.;■ Our Minister of Public Works had ; better not crush any more wheelbarrows under a. tractor just in case, an-/ other, slump, is on the way. . .-'■.'■•,, ;', ■■■■■■.'•'■ * '-.' ■•♦.,' .'■ .' :..>'..' ; ■■:'■,■ The Five Million; Club would start 'V-, oft' on the right foot if it could per- ~, suade the Government to run an annual' ; •: competition on the/lines of thcCana- : - ;; dian Baby Derby. : ; ■~■ '■.... , . ' : . ■ ■:■ :'• '•■■■ '■■■■*■■ ; ■'■'■ »■ ■: .' ...■,"■ , .■".■■ ■'■ .'' i ■ ;: : i".-.'-: FUN IN THE;ADS. . ; : : ■ ; " > As set down in a Western' Australian provincial weekly: . ' ..,,': We invite every one to 7 visit the ' '■'..■ new: theatre, and feel that you willbe more than delighted with the arrange- : V, ments, convenience, and modern way '.';;:/ in which i+ is built and equipped. .. Nothing .has; been'spared to mar the r,,^:nfort-of the patrons. . ■ ■ '.■■■■■■'■■'",'■•■■'■';;,■ :' Well,; patrons will! not be able *•. ■'./". say that they weren't warned!,. . : : ' .■■'■■'■. * '• * '■':'.. * ' ' ■ .',"''■' ■.■'•-.■ . MISTAKEN. IDENTITY. ~ . -V.',' .': :A humorous touch on Anzac Day was supplied by a small boy in the: ■■■ vicinity, of the. Cenotaph. : The band • / had just finished playing the National > •:■■/ Anthem, and the Bishop attired in all ■ , ■his. imposing regalia was, about-. to ,'•'.',■ leave the Cenotaph when this small. -'■'■ lad asked his dad in tones of awe "Is that,the King, dad?": Yes! We tittered ■:.'■■: a little, too. ■.'■ '•' . V ■. '-" ..:. . ;';.■;■ CRASHER. r- .;*... , ' • # ; ■' ♦'. '. f.# .;■. ;• ■' ■ .'. >. : ■'■' , :■:/' "■' "COOKING HIS GOOSE." ';-./ \ : ■,-,.'.'Alby Tross" ■ supplies 'cooking • terms, and terms connected with food . and drink, applied to man in different ~: circumstances.. He is "toasted," "roast- ' ed," is "made a hash of," "has his jacket dressed," "does not think himself small potatoes," and "casts sheep's.eyes at his lady love." ", . :.' ' "Alma Mater" rang these up: "Cool ' as a cucumber," "eaten up with pride," and "boils with rage." , ■ -:: .... ,: .- ' .-.■'. ■■ ■ •■■ .:■'*■ .', •..■ ■, •. ', ■■■ - .';; ,'■ ■ ' ••':. : INQUIRY DEPARTMENT. : . ' v /: :% "Phillippe". (Masterton).—All we can tell: you about it is that'there are •.: statisticians' who say that you. should • add together the ages at death, of..;:;: your four grandparents and parents :.'■; and divide the total by six. The answer should give you a minimum - expectation of life. . . ~ V /;. . M.X.M.—Thanks for those new soli- '■'~ taire problems. We shall find room for them presently. ;, y "Pataka" asks for the words of welcome accorded Edward VIII, then , ' Prince of Wales, by the Maoris when,. : • ,! he visited the country on the Renown. : , "Forty-five".—Making inquiries, but'1 : ' what you want is not easily ascertain- ' ■ ' able, Our present impression: is that: ; . ; your son is 'off on the wrong trail. ;■; , "Admirer" (Highland Park).—Lusitaniais not a coined word;, it is the, ancient name of Portugal.. :, -/ . '.. ''::;; -RIGHT■"', ;"'!-;{TURN!: »:■■-•■ : ; i\. . Deaf Flage,—My rank mate, "Lofty," ; who did more G.B. and "pack drill" than any half-dozen men in the N.Z.E.F. because of his chronic rinability to carry out even the simplest parade ..ground evolution, was righteously indignant on Sunday afternoon. Of all those eminent citizens—not ex- . eluding. his ' Excellency, who'laid wreaths at the shrine —only the Navy, ■ Army, and Air Force fepresentatiyeg turned to' the right-about .when withdrawing. "Lofty," being the onlooker who sees most of the,game, remarked with grim satisfaction, "Easy to see .' them jokers what turned left about was ex-officers." ■ -■" ■ \ . '■- • ■./ . -MITERA. ■ , P.S. —Some justification exists for the. Acting Prime Minister—who was not : a soldier. For a fraction of a moment ■ ; . he set himself for a righ-hand turn, but just as his right: han"d rejoiced greatly, saying, "My master :is about for once to let me know what he is ■.:■,.■'. doing," some' fundamental principle of ' his political training asserted itself in his consciousness, and he turned almost swiftly and executed a left-hand turn. ; ■ ..'*'■ '■ ■": ■■ ■" ■■ ■■■■■■ ■ ■' ■'■■■': " '■■■ ■•■'•■• ■.•■;»' « . #.j; . . '-■ ' '■'' THE RAILWAY STATION. Say goodbye'to the old, old station. Poor and shabby, and small, and low Gone with the pioneering nation., : That arose with it, long ago. . All unfit for a capital city, : ' Most inadequate, most absurd; Yet it.arouses a kind of pity, ■ : Yet "Goodbye" is a plaintive word. • , Passengers crowded those narrow spaces, : . ■: .. ■■■ ~ .: Shepherded well by good railway : ■ ~.■ '■' men; ■ ■ '. ,■ •: «,,' ... Were there, perhaps, more smiling : '.. -faces,. , . ; ': , ■ ■;:.; ; '. ■.:■-. More good humour and kindness ■• . then? ;, v r ■-:•■■• '.'■ ■ ■■' ~.' Over those platforms, so mean and scanty, :"." • •',.'' ...;,': History waves1 us her signal lamp; ■ Over them marched, young and brava :: and jaunty, .■■' - ■"; All the soldiers from • Trentham Camp. . ;''■..■' ll ■■': ■■■'".■. ■ Many a greeting our grand new station, Fair and stately, shall yet extend; Many a welcome, in proud elation, Give to the guests who shall hitheß ; wend. •■ • ' ■■ ■ ' ;•■'.■', -; ■.' .' ■• . . But some .few things that have passed for ever, ■'•■-..■ • :■ . Melted away like the engine's steam. The past from the future years shall sever, • ..'.:''. Till past and future become one dream, « . " '. ■ . ■,-"■■ .; A. , . DIVORCING LADY NICOTINE. : Are you a cigarette addict —a chainsmoker? Have your "smoking" fingers . a permanent stain? Do you smoke a pipe or a cigar before breakfast? And so on? Well, we. have, just happened; on a cure—if you ;want (and need) one. It is the discovery of a' Dr. Dorsey, an American scientist of high standing, who is sorry for weak-willed '." oyersmokers. The Dorsey remedy is simple. (It is not advertised in New Zealand, by the way.) The smoker must cease abruptly and completely. r Whenever he feels the wan'; of a smoke . he must swallow a capsule containing one-eighth grain of lobeline. This is a drug which smells, tastes, fend at* fects the human system almwt exactiy ■ as nicotine does. Lobeline, we are as- : sured, is not habit-forming like nico--, tine. Dr. Dorsey (he is, on the staft/ of the famous John Hopkins Institute) has never found it necessary fo£ a patient to take more than Eighteen ;.' doses in twenty-four hours. Usually: three or four capsules: a day hava ; , sufficed. For a day or:two there-may, ;; ■ be some nausea,, a metallic taste, and .;, an uncertain feeling of malaise, but :: , no more unpleasant; symptoms.,: By, ': . the way. American consumers bought ; ; last year 134,007,741,257 cigarettes. 4,763,833,437 cigars, 95.875 tons of plp»', ,;..' tobacco, and 18,030 tons of snu/T. : : :