POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIII, Issue 56, 8 March 1937, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

St Pekct Flack.

We gather that what Mr. Semple is trying to drive home is that he absolutely refuses to be the Minister of Public (house) Works. An economist says that "borrowing money is the same, as borrowing trouble." Nonsense. You can still borrow trouble. Many entrepreneurs know what the public wants, but they have too great a respect lor the amenities to give. it to them. \ * * • Then, there is the story of the man who refused to worry about his income tax. He decided to send the Commissioner a cheque and let him do the worrying. . . « * » v LITERARY NOTE. Remember you this of Joseph Hocking: . He never wrote anything really shock ing; . And, we are glad to be able to say Nor did his brother, dear Silas K. * * ■*, WHAT OH, SHE BUMPS! Fancy driving over a wheelbarrov without noticing it. Time the mqtoi regulations included a test for eye sight. • Y. RARAPA. ■» « • INQUIRY DEPARTMENT. "Macßill" asks if any member of our , literati can' place these lines:— "I've often thought that headstrong youths, Of decent- education, Determine all-important truths With strange precipitation. . . -, "The ever ready victims they > Of logical illusions, And in a self-assertive way ' A They jump at strange conclusions." » '* * CYNIC AT LARGE. ■ Dear Percy Flage,—Have you heard the latest description of Lord Nuf- A field and Sir Harry Lauder—Put and take. I should, of course, have put the names 'the other way round. to show the perfectly apt way of describing the characteristics of the two men. Sir Robert Home when he was speaking of economists- one day saidthey should be on tap but not on top—, this may be useful some day. Yours sincerely, ■ "RANDOM THOUGHTS." After finishing this note I thought of an Arab proverb which might fit Mr. Semple: "When God wishes to destroy an ant He gives him wings." "R.T." EQUALITY. Dear Flage,—By means of your valuable column I trust you will submit thefollowing suggestion to "the propel authorities": — ..■■■. " "That as from April 1 next (the date upon which our bankers are to appear in their new uniforms, all socalled 'bank officers' lower; in rank than sub-accountants be classed as 'bankers' mates' (or labourers) 'and be required to wear bowyangs in,ad- ; dition to the regulation dungarees." / Yours for equality. ; CLASS-CONSCIOUS CLARENCE. P.S.: Lunch, if carried on ■to ,lh« ~ "job," must be tied up in red handkerchief. ■ ; ■- ■ ' * « ■ .* TRUTH. (Which is sometimes as strange .as , fiction —and as amusing, too). Fact No. I.—A citizen of repute liv- .... ing in a nearby burg had his meat safa rifled," among the articles abstracted . being a leg of lamb. Within a couple of days the bereaved householder received by mail a heading in large type clipped from the women's page of "The Post" and running, "Various ways of Cooking Lamb." The anonymous sender, though a rogue, was evidently a funny one. Fact No. 2.~1n a certain school it was found necessary to order a new > strap. When the instrument of correction arrived it was found to be packed in a cardboard box which had : originally contained china, and which bore on the label these singularly in- . appropriate words, Joy, Table Decoration No. 1. - This is a good example of what might be called 'coincidental humour. •■-■■■ ' X.Y.Zi * . * » ..■'•■• IS IT WISE? Dear Mr. Savage, is it wise? It's otherwise in other eyes, Your head so fine, your chiselled temples, Should hold your views, and Mr. ■ Semple's; ■ For in the street there's those we meet Who say that he is indiscreet, That power from you may well depart, \ Should he upset an apple-cart; • And he who out may well be in Should there be lack of discipline. We do not wish you on the shelf, . But only that you be yourself. Dear Mr. Savage, is it wise? It's otherwise in other eyes. ■. . • ' DRUM." ■» * * WHAT A LEGISLATURE! Our Prime Minister, who is modesty itself, may get a little thrill out of .•■ the fact that .the Government's feat of, passing 79 Bills In record legislative time has moved one of far-away Montana's (U.S.A.) sheets to grow almost lyrical over the performance. Mon- , tana's admiration takes the form of an editorial over half a column long— , a splendid slab' of publicity. The article opens with considerable gusto —as follows:—"The second longest legislative session ever held in New Zealand has adjourned the middle of. January, according to a cable from Wellington, New Zealand. It met right after Christmas. It' is midsummer down under the Equator now, and the members have all gone home—to tend their sheep, spear for gum, get out kuri logs, work on the huge 52,000,000----dollar public works, housing, and highway construction, and make some more famous cheese." The industrially democratic qualities attributed to our politicians are a trifle exaggerated—getting out "kuri" logs is dofr gone enthusiasm somewhat overdone —but you get the editor's idea, don"C you? Or don't you? It is hard for us on the spot to visualise the P.M., in the recess, stabbing for gum, or the debonair Mr. Nash wrestling, blade in hand, with a recalcitrant ram, but distance does lend enchantment, and all that sort of thing. But let us return to the Montana editor: "People up here (he adds) will be at a loss to account for the great amount of work accomplished in the short time (his figures are "five weeks"!): the small number of Acts passed ("thirteen local and seven private Acts"), and their importance. Our only explanation is that there are several Maori Indian members of the Parlia- ~ ment; that they are, leaders; that they know what their people want and need. Then 'each is for the other and all arc for the State.' What a Legislature!" .. . . And what an editor!! I