POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIII, Issue 51, 2 March 1937, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

By Perct Flags.

Maybe those girl strikers in Detroit were just tired of standing up. News is highly perishable, but * wisecrack has 90 lives. * « « :. . ■ "Camouflage."—Somewhat plagiaristic, I suggest that bumpers will not be banned when this Test is over. -# « * F.G.—A sensation was caused in a city tramcar by .three ladies who, being unpainted and ■ unrouged, were therefore beautiful and charming. * * # Omadhaun. —The piercing shriek of some motor horns prompts the inquiry whetheT the insurance companies have yet given consideration to the question of devising a policy which will insure one against getting a fright. A Labour M.P. urges that Britain's re-armament borrowing policy should, be reserved- for the time when the next depression threatened. But suppose the Bad Men of Europe won't wait till then? * * » THIS ENGLAND. (From the "New Statesman and ; Nation.") In these evil days of strife, bloodshed, and hate, would it not be almost a blessing if Heaven sent some dire comet or other form of celestial portent to terrify the nations out of their sins? ~-"'. ' ■ ■ How soon they would forged air raids and dictators, Bolshevism and armaments, did some monstrous horror suddenly blaze forth in the sky, and, ever drawing nearer, threaten instantaneous death and. destruction? . • ; L. Such a dread menace, though finally averted, would, I think, effectually regenerate mankind and accomplish in less than a week what the Churches have failed to do for'more than twelve centuries.—Letter to the "Star." • # * ':. WEIGHTY CORONATION MATTERS. If a choice were compulsory we should prefer to be a peeress than a peer at the Coronation ceremony. It is like this. A London scribe tells that the robes to be worn by the peers will average 191b in weight, made up as follows:—Full-dress coatee of senior Minister, 81b 8oz; peer's robe, 61b; full Court dress, 21b 8oz; knickers, lib; Court shoes, lib 8oz; dress sword, lib; 8oz; white silk or satin waistcoat, 8oz; cocked hat, lOoz. As the waiting time : in the Abbey is round about seven hours, Britain's chief male nobilities are.' in for a real endurance test. Theirwomen (as is their due) escape with.. lighter burdens. Here they are:—Corenation dress and kirtle, 31b 8oz; velvet trained ermine cape, 41b;- light coronet, lOoz; diamond headdress, Soz; shoes and stockings, 15oz; gloves, 2oz; jewel-, iery, lOoz. Total, 101b soz. Peeresse3. of the higher ranks, wearing heavy coronets and elaborate jewellery, will carry 121b.. . The plight of the peers and their wives is heightened by the small space allotted to guests in the Abbey seats— a matter of 19 inches. * * * ' ■ ;.".;■ . ■ "WRONG 'UNS?" • "•■•■ Dear Flage,—You are, doubtless, well aware that the virus of New Zealand-. Cricket-Team-selection is- still "in the. air," despite the united efforts arid final, jurisdiction rendered, by the official selectors- themselves-. Therefore; the-very-prominent headline in Saturday's "Sports Post," viz.,;i'Jimmy" Ell Can Bowl. "Wrong 'uns.,".. and, reference to: "Wellington's brilliant young batsman," must, willy-nilly, cause any unofficial sole selector worth his salt to break out in a fresh place—or risk his existence. The further reference:: "From what happened last Saturday it, looks as though he (J.E.) has been getting in some silent work," urgently raises the -question as to whether that type of propaganda is the most effective method (in view of New Zealand's dire need) to "bowl out" the New Zealand selectors. Obviously, the numerous unofficial sole selectors,- throughout the ■ country, should get together (unity is strength) and arrive at the, critical (or should it be cricketal?) decision, at this late'stage, as to whether"JE>" should boldly, and audibly, ap-: proach the New Zealand selectors, or the.official selectors be strongly advised to, er—go to Ell.. ./'../. GF .^ PS'- Possibly a "straw: vote" would, indicate which way the. "wind" of pul> lie opinion blows. G.F. .-. ■ -* * * " THEM BELLS! (With apologies to Robert Browning and his "Patriot.") It was jangling music all the day /;;.. .With noise sufficient to drive onf mad; . ... The darned tower seemed to heave and sway,. : , ■ , ' And shake the town, such bells it had— • ■ • - Last year, last week, and yesterday. .... The air re-echoed to frequent yells,--• The housetops trebled; with frantic. cries, ■ .-.■ Arid I said, "Good folks that ro ; \v. repels! .•'•.; Give me peace 'neath these brazen. skies!" And they answered, "Buy it at all hotels." There's nobody near the bell-tower now, Just a wailing child at a window set, . .-' For the peace of the night is, all allow, In Ngaio, Khandallah, or better yet, In Karori, far from the awful row! " ■ . . ' NO NAME. ' The last stanza, is omitted (1) because the anonymous author has made clear his peeve without it; >and (2) be-, cause the lines dropped might be hurt-" fully misunderstood by sensitive, people.—P.F. » * • INFORMATION DEPARTMENT. "Film Fan," who recently saw.a. hippopotamus at w.ork.-.iii.a Hollywood "flicker," is curious as to where the various animal • "movie" actors are obtained. The answer is—from Holly-, wood, where there is a zoo or two. "Film Fan" may be interested _ to; know that hippopotami are blossoming into film stars, and are earning more than many small-part actors. A nicelymannered hippo can, and does, earn. £20 a day for working in a film. Directors are frequently compelled to hire animals for their pictures; and a regular pay schedule -has now been drawn up so that owners- of animals and the producers know exactly how they stand. A few well-trained lions and elephants have been known to earnas much as a hippo does, but such cases are exceptional. ;. The standard daily wage-scale is now as follows: — - Hippopotami £20 Trained chimpanzees . £5 to £20 ' Trained deer . ••"• £6 Alligators • £5 .._; Pythons •••■• £5 •.- Camels ............. £5 ..,;■ Zebras £4;,.. Buzzards £1 . Badgers ••••• % £1 , Dogs and cats are paid "according to ability," as so much of their usefulness depends on the nature of their training.