POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIII, Issue 40, 17 February 1937, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

By Perct Flack.

Dr. Sarga's series of duels can reasonably be described as an affair of honour . . . his wife's. * . .. * * It looks as though the Englishmen in their first innings in the match concluded today were playing possum, rather than cricket. . "It is time we took the business of politics pretty seriously," says Mr. Adam Hamilton. Shutting the stable door after the horse is stolen? The Arbitration Court will get all the credit for the substantial rises in seamen's wages; the public, as usual, will have the privilege S>f footing the bill. ■;;■- * * LIST TO PORT. ■ Then there was the party of literary gentlemen who went on a fishing excursion to Kapiti on Sunday, but whose navigation was so far at fault that they found themselves in the Wainui Valley.—Keg o' my Heart. THE CZECHS—AND HITLER. It is undeniable that Hitler has the drop on little Czechoslovakia. That State was happy enough until the Fuhrer arrived and began sabotaging the European machine. He turned his attentions to the Czechs because (1) there are over 3,000,000 Germans in the State, and (2) Czechoslovakia allied herself with Russia and France (apart from the tie-up with Rumania ' and Yugoslavia). The alliance with France Hitler might overlook, but that Czechoslovakia should have joined forces with the Soviet is to him ah insult. Further, her Little Entente colleagues are afraid of Bolshevism, which can be catching, and their apprehensions, stimulated by Nazi propaganda, are threatening a coolness.with their former good friends, the Czechs. It is significant that while Hitler has offered Belgium and Holland a non-aggression pact, no such gesture has come Czechoslovakia's way. . • • • INQUIRY DEPARTMENT; "Flageolet."—There was no such, saint. St. Monday was a facetious name sometimes given to Monday because many workmen and others who like an extended weekend made it' a holiday ("holy day!"). There is a story in the Journal of the Folk-lore Society which runs as follows:—While Cromwell's army lay encamped at Perth, one of his zealous partisans, named Monday, died by his own hand, and Cromwell offered a reward for the best lines on his death. A shoemaker of Perth brought these lines: Blessed be the Sabbath Day, And cursed be worldly pelf;. Tuesday will begin the week Since Monday's hanged, himself. Which so pleased Cromwell that he not only gave the promised award, but made also a decree that shoemakers' should be allowed to observe Monday as a standing holiday. * * ■'*. ' HOW'S YOUR BUSINESS? E.B. writes: I rang you last week to introduce you to "How's Your Business?" but couldn't get hold of you— next thing I knew that you had it. Here are a few home-made ones to help pass the time away:—.■■; '- Apiarist—Buzzing- along. Stationery—At a standstill. Astronomer —Looking up. Brewer—Pretty flat. Baker-^-Still making a bit of dough. From J.M.A. (Lower Hutt): Here's one of my own—entirely original. Blacksmith—Going hammer and tongs. . . ",.■■..■.,' "Anon" sends in over a score of "How's Your Business?" Some examples: ■ ' Quarryman—Stony broke. Sculptor—Marbleuss. •'■ Dentist—Boring. • Secret service agent—Can't tell. Cattle thief—Stock taking. "Mo's" contributions: > . ■ Optician—Up to the eyes. ' V . Archaeologist—Ruinous. Stoker—l'm fired. Cabinetmaker —Oke. \ These are from "Howzat": '■■ Road sweeper—Not so dusty. Window cleaner—Gives me a pain. Munition maker—Booming. ■ Here are some of our ■ own for Postscripters to try their metal on. Masseur, corset maker, parachutist, sword swallower, home-brew addict, oyster opener, kleptomaniac, shearer. ■ ■ «■ • ■ ♦ PRIDE. These lines, clipped and sent to us by E.C.8., Lower Hutt, are the work of Don Marquis, a New York columnist of long standing and high reputa-, tion: — ' "boss it is funny to me the things that people get proud of i met a flea today who was all hopped up* with self importance he said he had been up to the zoo and had bit a lion you should have heard. him roar said the flea when I:sank my teeth into him plenty of fleas have bit dogs but i guess I am the only flea who ever licked a lion little fellow i said to him don't get so proud probably he never knew you existed more than likely he thought you were only 1 a measle breaking out on him boss i have known some human beings who were just as foolish as that flea they thought they were heroec when they were only cinders in the eyes of humanity too many creatures both insects and humans estimate their own value by the amount of minor, irritation they are able to cause. # <* * NAVY FOR SALE! The King can "sell the British Navy to anyone he wishes, and pocket' the money."—"Evening Post," Feb. 7. Should disarmament ever come about, one day we might see this:— ,For sale, a Navy, in several Fleets, complete in every detail and in First Class Order. Ready for immediate action. Mam items comprise:. Battleships and Battle Cruisers, Cruisers, Aircraft Carriers and Tenders, Flotilla leaders and Destroyers, Submarines. Extras include: Monitors, Seagoing Depot and Repair Ships, Sloops, Minesweepers, Surveying Vessels, and ■£■ large number of smaller craft such as Gunboats, Patrol Boats, Drifters, and Trawlers. ' Also there are huge supplies of shells, torpedoes, mines, aerial bombs, and ammunition for small arms, Small Arms and Uniforms (for all ranks and occasions), and Kits. Every vessel is thoroughly equipped with the best material obtainable (British-made is a byword denoting superior quality). There are full stores and hosts of , Sundries too numerous to mention. [ Inspection Invited. Sale commences in Six Weeks. ; Full lists may be had on Application. F.H.