POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIII, Issue 28, 3 February 1937, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

By Percy Flacc.

Chronicle and Comment

Unlike the small boy's pants, it would be the height of folly adding patches to a wicket that is wearing out. What's all this Hitler fuss about Bolshevism? Hasn't Stalin come out in favour of dinner jackets and brighter ties? « -:t -a We wish that oversea visitors would cease telling us that in this, that, andthe other we lead the world; so many people are prone to believe it. a * » ' • Trotting note:—"lt's about time I gave punters another break," said Gamble, and immediately went to ■ hopeless tangle. . . '■ « * * No doubt the heartfelt sympathies of England's hoboes will go out to those who have just received the Order of the Bath. You mustn't assume that anyone who has money is an out-and-out crook. The chances are that he was working diligently while you were sitting around scratching your head. * , * It OUR TRAMS. Dear Flage,—Anent the periodical controversy of tram v. trolley-bus, has it occurred to the City Fathers that by merely turning the existing cars round they can be made quite smart? As thus; "Trams" reverse equals "Smart." The difficulty, one understands, ii the "overhead," which is. largely attributable to current expenditure. But surely this is true of all bus-mess everywhere: it exists from pole to pole, and is not merely .the latest Cable news. ' '" . L.D.A. P.S. —In the event of the present types of tramcar becoming obsolete, I suggest that the framework thereof —i.e., the car-cases, be used for meat vans. • * ♦ "AGE" ENDINGS. So far, seven contributors have managed to work out successfully the "age" endings. They are (in the order in which their solutions arrived): "Mrs. Micawber," "Pearleen," "OpalEye," "Little Dorritt," Elsie M., Emmett Walpole, and "O'L." In several cases alternative words, such as "pillage" for "ravage" and "hostage" for "bondage," were allowed. "O'L" writes: The following are "age" words, on similar but somewhat different lines. The first part of the word, answering the clue, is, not necessarily the meaning of the' word, or akin to it: A musical .age, the age of invention,_ a crude age, masculine age, age pertaining to the army, age of ascent, fish age, apothecary's age. Here's an example—vehicle «ge: cartage. ' . ■ • * * * ON SECOND THOUGHTS. Perfectly sober, and in his right mind, a citizen sat propped against his stick, which, in turn, was propped against the base of a considerable business edifice in the heart of the city. Heading Southward (towards Willis Street) came a pedestrian beating up into the wind on an uneven keel. In other words, he was under the "infloonce." He tacked as he approached the stick-supported citizen, hugged the wall, and—well, you can guess what happened. Mutual apologies followed. "Shorry," spluttere4 the wine-bibber. "Didden see it, ole man. My mishtake. Shorry." The stick owner, his natural good manners in no wise shocked by the collision, rejoined: "I must apologise. Quite my fault. Hope you haven't hurt yourself. Careless of me," and so on. " 'S'all right, ole man," said the other. "Thas's all right," with which he set off again, the usual three sheets in the wind, but in the direction whence he had come. The citizen remained where he was. A few minutes later he saw to his astonished curiosity the inebriate bearing down upon him under a heavy list to starboard. Steadying himself as he once again confronted the citizen, the other straightened up, waved , a minatory finger, hiccupped rebukingly: "Should shay you would 'pologise—yesh," and took himself off, reefing and lugghv * c • GOLD CUP. . As a picturesque preamble Will that coltish fellow Gamble, Hitch and twitch and sprawl and scramble When the starter lets 'em go? Will the bold King's Warrior, prithee, Be up, bowling nicely with the Leaders up the straight, with Smithy Sitting pretty? Maybe so. Is Red Shadow, "Scotty's" treasure, Good enough to take the measure , Of the front rank, at his leisure, In the run home to the judge? Isn't War Buoy about due, now? Old Roi lOr is racing true, now, What about Glenrossie, too, now? (Do we hear a voice say: "Fudge"?) Grah'm Directs form has been funny, Rey Spec's chances don't look sunny. Bidding to be in the money Will be Grand Mogul, my hearty. Others there are who will follow Maidens' pair, B.M. and Rollo, But, as "dry" bets, few will follow Other members of the party. Shrewd folk may not lose their packet If they put it on the bracket. ' » * • POSTED . . . MISSING. "Douglasite."—We have nothing against Mr. Aberhart —except his obsession that he is a wizard of finance. In any case, our par concerning his difficulties (Postscripts, a fortnight since) has been confirmed by cable. "Jack and Jill."—Our first note from an engaged pair. Thanks for good wishes—and when's the wedding? G.W. ("Solace").—(1) Well meant, but not quite suited to our Saturday column. (2) Matthew Arnold (we think it was) defined poetry as "the truth told in the most beautiful words." "Pauline."—Shall make inquiries. George F. Briscoe. —Not in our line, thanks all the same. "Democraticus."—Lines beginning Posterity is here today. Our statesmen tax and borrow, And spend like water every day, But what about tomomnv? are neither helpful in their philosophy nor particularly edifying as verse. B.G. (Khandallah).—A neatly-turned par, but the 'advertising flavour—probably not intentional—kills it. "Not Wanted?"— Our apologies. Your contribution was overlooked -until its topicality vanished. "Three Ply."—Held for reconsideration. We prefer matter that steers clear of personalities. "John Doe."—Have referred your inquiry to a" local authority. Watch | out for reply—if any. j "Ars Amandi." —You are merely butting your head against a brick wall. Abuse lands you nowhere —except into the w.p.b. "Solar Plexus."—That was a highlypopular wisecrack when antimacassars first became an essential part in interior decoration. G.W.—Thanks. Shall see what we can do with that idea.