POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXII, Issue 97, 21 October 1936, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

By Perct Flage.

CJiromcle and Comment

Trentham being Trentham, punters are assured of a run for their money —even if it is only a run of "outs." *.. ■ • .; ■ • ■ • Many people take as long to make up their minds as a granny docs io make up her face. * . * ~..».. . ._- It is hard enough for the average punter to pick winners, but reserve a spot of'sympathy'for. the newspaper tipsters.. ' ■ .:..» - * ; ■'■• ■ : ■■■■ ■'".'■ The predicted clash after the conclusion of the Empire Chamber of Com- . ; merce Conference has come sooner than we expected. {> « * Belgium must not forget that if, . under a policy of collective security, she suffered the. fate of Abyssinia, she would be ensured of the condolence* of the League of Nations. * « « Little wonder that Dr. Schuschnigg'i s speech from a tall tower evoked, little enthusiasm. He said his aim was to have every Austrian at work. What'a wrong with the dole? * * * WISTFUL NOTE. The mysterious Indian yogi SwamiYoganada, who claims to know the secret of perpetual youth, went to London recently to pass his knowledge on to :. ageing Englishers,- men and women. Our special representative in the East End, Ikey iMcLeod, radiophones us that at Swami's first sitting the place was thick with expatients of Dr. Voronoff, *their eyes dim with disillusionment. Our correspondent adds, CD That Swami looks to be in for a bumper season, and (2) that Barnum was wrong: there ar« half-a-dozen born every minute. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS., ; Percy Flage.—Dear Sir,—A fellow feeling makes us wondrous kind. For myself, apologia accepted. Was engaged "lares et penates" duties at the green most of the afternoon, too!— Yours K. "Fonder than Ever" is sincerely grateful to Percy Flage for his solution to the enigma, "Whispered in Heaven," and for his interesting in-' formation as to its author, etc. If available, the same author's enigma on the letter "i," though perhaps less famous, would doubtless be 'ighly(!) appreciated by Flage-ites. We shall do our best to unearth that second enigma. *■• * # OPEN LETTER. Dear Mr, Flage,—Not goin' to Trei> tarn tomorrer; can't raise the needful, can you? (We can't!) Any'ow, I can't be put in gaol for 'avin f a bet at 'ome on credit. If I do I'm going to follow . Sir Thomas Wilford's system of backin' the number, 13's. I'm not SHY of sooper. stition numbers. Give me love to all me admirers an' frien's an' fans, includin' yourself. 'Opin' you are swell as this leaves me at the moment. MAME McCLANCY. P.S.—Ain't nobody gotta pleasant-'n'« interestin' job for Sir Thomas yet? I m lookin' for one of that kind, too. P.S. No. 2.—1 see Youssipof is only, No 11 in the Hoctober 'Andicap. Mr, Wilfprd will "aye to back In'erjtance, won't 'c? Watta life! ■ M. Me. **. , » BOUTS-RIMES. (A spot ot optimism in a murkf outlook.) The future seems horribly black, My pockets and purse without money. A man without hope—l've just got the sack Life seems any darned thing but funny. ' ' ■ ' ' Still I'm well rid of a trouble that'i old, And I manage to keep my flag flying. ' " ■ ■I have just passed along a terriblt cold, And my motner-in-law lies dying " SIC TRANSIT—GLORIOUS , MONDAY, Lower Hutt. In protest. Oh! Percy Flage, my thoughts alt black, ' ' For on you I've put my money. You really do deserve the sack, If you think these endings funny! A weary brain is growing old, And the minutes swiftly flying, Two poor feet, once warm, are cold. Whilst embers dull, ■ *re . slowly, dying. O'L. Seatoun. This humble effort from one wh» greatly appreciates your column. "The outlook for our land is black, The world is mad for .money. Have we been left to hold the sack?" Such moaning, Flage, is funny, For' Gentle' Joe has knocked their ' old i False Gods of Mammon flying. • And,succoured from the bitter cold The, weary "and the dying. "FAT FANNY." Brooklyn. ♦■. « . • POSTED ... MISSING. "Scamperdown."—Put aside for r». consideration. "One of' the Unfortunate."—Onf stanza: So let's.-have it universal, And we'll all be content; Saturday will always be well spcnV ' For when it's all said and done, There's nothing to do, So why can't we be in On the forty hour too? Ward IV.—lngenious in parts, but as you know now, faulty in other ways. H.M. —But there is no indication that Mary was a girl of that sort. "'Alf Wit."—Feeling .generous, we award you 17.3 per cent, of marks. How's that? F.M.—On second thoughts, "A Lover's Lament" was regretfully consigned to the w.p.b. "Bull's Wool."—lndeed, a most appropriate pseudonym. Bert G-—. (Petone) .—Sorry, but Petone's ejection from senior grade is scarcely a fit topic for this column. "Simple Semple."—Months ago. Why not come in and look up the files foe yourself now that you're on the 40» hour week? , . "Bolas" (Pahiatua).—There's1 a catch in that. 'It will probably cost you a few pounds to reach print. Send stamped addressed envelope if you desire further particulars. Joan Deano.—Better suited to "Fairiel's" page. Here's the best verse; I love to hear the birds at mom Singing their songs of love, When golden is the eastern dawn, And skies are blue above. Busy Bee."—No honey in $hat sug. gestion, thanks all the same. "Envy Dubb."—You've got hold of the wrong end of the stick. No such, opinion ever appeared in this feature.' "Road Hogs."—Admirable as to sentiments, but too violent for publication. "Spring Gales." —If you arc no peeved with our weather, why not move to Auckland or Tauranga? H.P.T.—Like the idea, but diagrams are inadmissible so lac as Col. 3 , ia concerned.