POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXII, Issue 18, 19 October 1936, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

By Percy Flace,

Talking of Germany—Hitler is making his soldiery goose-step on it. » * * LaL/our M.P.: "If we make mistakes we shall try to learn from them." Good old experimentia docet. •♦ ■ » Lord Nuffield's almost unexampled munificences, which he regards as one of his life's duties,- will make a hole in his death duties. *'» . » A despised outsider in Northwind won the Caulfield Cup. It's an ill wind that blows no good—to the bookmakers. ; * * • Whatever you may think of our railcars (says "Delirious Dan") you must commend the authorities for always having a steam train <handy as a standby in case of a hold-up. -» * ♦ HUMAN NATURE. If the doctors would say that it's most indigestible, And the law would forbid us that wicked comestible, I'm sure that the people, from Taupo to Greenwich, Would quickly develop a passion lor spinach. ■ JOE ANTHONY. « * « HEARD THESE? Fronf'Slim Jim" (still in the backblocks) , who has a keen sense of humour. ' Mary: John, dear, I'm, to be in amateur theatricals. What will people say when they see me in tights? John Joaes: They'll say I married you for your money. - Rastus's lawyer was informing him on the legal status of his matrimonial relationship and his chances for a divorce. . "Mistuh Johnson, I has discovered I can get you yo' divorce on the grounds that yo' marriage ain't legal on account of her —he had no licence to carry a gun." * ♦ • * ■ INQUIRY DEPARTMENT. ' ; "Non-Fascist."— Q) Sir Oswald Mosley is a well-to-do demagogue, a real showman, and something of an orator. (2) Lord Rothermere, the newspaper magnate, broke with Mosley because of the latter's anti-Semitic bias. Ona of the grandfathers of his late wife (Lady Cynthia Curzon) was Levj Leiter, a Chicago millionaire. ■ "Fonder, Than Ever."—The solutionf of that enigma beginning 'Twas whispered in Heaven, 'twas mutttered in hell, And echo caught faintly the sound a* it fell; is the letter "h." The author of this clever rhymed riddle was Catherine Maria Fanshawe (1765-1834), though for many years Byron was given the credit for it. Miss Fanshawe wrote; a less famous enigma on the letter "i," which also was wrongly attributed to Byron. *- * •» ' . AIR GRASSHOPPERS. • Those gifted with prophecy predicfi a future when the air will be s<* crowded with private. "minny" 'p'lanea that the birds will call a mass meeting to consider the matter. We do seem to be heading that way. For example, the "Flying Fleas" are pushing ahead in Europe. But designers are itching to go one better, and, if report speaks true, one engineer has. succeeded. He is a man who was prominently concerned1 in the production of the "Flying Fleas,"" and his latest! achievement is the "grasshopper," a single-seater monoplane, which will cost £185 and enable its owner, to fly 100 miles for two shillings. The "Grasshopper," which is equipped with a Ford engine, will give an. estimated maximum speed of 85 miles an hour with a cruising speed of 70 m.p.h. Fuel consumption will be about two gallons an hour, which in miles per gallon equals that of a. small ten-horse-power ear. The British Aiff. Ministry is said to be showing "en. couraging" interest in the new model, and will carry out tests, when flying trials have been completed. PARODY. (With apologies to Keats and Lf Belle Dame Sans Merci. The hussy! certainly "knew her onions" and waa the world's original gold-digger.) O what can ail thee, tax-pay-er, A-moan, and palely *moistening? The cuts have slithered from the pay. And lab'rers sing. 0 what can ail thee, tax-pay-er, So haggard and so woebegone? The Savage granary is lull And.the darn'dest's done. 1 see a lily, on thy brow With anguish moist, and fever" dew, And in thy bank a fading cash Fast withereth too. I saw a member in the House Full promiseful, a Semple child, His words were long, his hopes wera high, And his speech was mild. 4 And so he lulled me asleep And there I dream'd—Ah! woe betid* The latest dream I ever dream'd On the Labour side. Arid this is "why I sojourn here A-moan and paiely moithering, While the cuts have slithered from th# pay : And lab'rers sing. SANS EVERYTHING. *Mame McClancy will demonstrate, She does it when the tripe and onioni don't come up to expectations. * « * COUNTER-LUNCHES DE LUXE. We were warned some time ago that certain pubs in this city were contem* plating cutting out the counter-lunch' because the Government had increased their overhead. A bitter prospect? But the Sydney hotels have gone to the other extreme. There is a counterlunch war raging in that capital, with the result that, for the price of a fourpenny beer, customers are offered, free, a wide range of dishes. One city hotel has been offering the following array of free counter-lunch twice daily:—Corned beef, brawn, tomato and lettuce salad, curried eggs, hot meat pies, sausages, rissoles, lamb's fry, breast of mutton, sandwiches, bread and butter. Rival hostelries immedaitely gave all these to their patrons. In addition, one featured 6ysters on the shell, with toothpicks for spearing the delicacies and conveying them to the mouth. As a counterblast a third hotel notified its clientele that oyster mornay were headlining a long list of free food. In another quarter a new hotel has begun its drive for popularity by carving daily two roast sucking pigs and one large roast turkey. Complete with crackling, and between slices of bread, generous helpings are handed out to anyone with a glass or a pewter pot in his hand. We run these facts in the forlorn hope that they will make local hostelries feel ashamed of themselves, for we don't intend to remain "an tha wagon" indefinitely*