POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Issue 86, 8 October 1936, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

By Percy Flage.

Chronicle and Comment

We hope some day to have nothing • to do so we can really enjoy doing nothing. » * * A visitor tells us of a remarkable echo in the Waiho Gorge. He called out "Knock, knock," and the reply came back, "Who's there?" ■ * • . ■• .. Now that the Imperial Commerca Congress has ended, we may expect that the usual trade battle will begin any moment. * ♦ * Says "Delirious Dan": Another de? plorable feature of the way leisure is being spent in this country is that thousands are.spending it holding down positions in the Government. * * « L.D.A.—The course of blue blood never did run smooth. Here it is, in six words: Patrimony—ceremony—matrimony; Testimony—any money?—alimony. » » * TO GRANE ZEY. I've read your thrilling book' about Your battles with your much-adorel fish, ■;. And now I know, beyond a doubt, The pen is mightier than the> sword*' fish. CAMOU FLAGE. ■ * . * ,'.*■'■■■ CHILD SAYINGS. ; Dear Flage,—Here are two contributions to your list of children's quaint sayings: •,.' ;*, Five-year-old, inspecting with : s her mother a row of "greens" well-rav-aged by the white butterfly, remarked: "Those cabbages look pretty worn-out, Mum!" ' The same child, on being told that Grandma had just turned seventy, in« quired: "Do you think she'll keep much longer?" v TAFFY. Lower Hutt. ' * w ' w-. ' • COURT SHORTS. (Chiefly from English sources.)' Husband: My wife said she would hang for me. Wife (with emphasis): So I would. Man: I am a hairdresser's assistant and now that they are doing.badly my salary is subject to a permanent wave. Woman Witness (in assault case): I won't stop to kill him. I'll knock his head off first. Young Public Schoolboy: A police officer'on a motor-cycle collided with, me, and I have still got some, of his indelible blood on my mackintosh. Constable: I told the defendant I was a police officer, but he did not seem to hear. I repeated who I was, when he said: "Come, come, old dear. Make up your mind. How many of you are there?" * * • INQUIRY DEPARTMENT. S.M. (Masterton).—The first non-stop flight across the Atlantic was accomplished in June; 1919, when the novf Sir Arthur Whitten Brown, the pilot, and the late Captain John Alcock, landed in a bog near the Clifden radio station in Ireland. The flight was made under conditions that would appal the record-attacking airmen of today. At St. John's, Newfoundland, their starting point, they had to build their own aerodrome, and flatten out the field before they could take off. They were only a few miles over the Atlantic when their radio broke down, and they; flew "blind" through storm and fog. "Old Settler" (Petone).—Will look the matter up and let you have particulars by mail. Emmett 'Walpole.—There is (or was) an inn called "The Salutation and Cat." The "Salutation" (which refers'to the angel saluting the Virgin Mary) is the sign of the house, and the "Cat" i* added to signify that arrangements are made for playing "cat" or tipcat. *' # ♦ MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. Great weather, ain't it? Even so. There is one thing I want to "know. An" that is—true as I sit 'ere— What's the world comin' to, ole dear*, They've gotta stature in the nood Up Auckland way, what some call* crood, %• ■ ■ An' some unspeakin'ably shockin. It even doesn't wear'a stockin* To 'ide its shame, or a school tie, An' if there ain't a hewan cry! The Stigginses is on its trail. They want it moddyfied, an' wail About the bad effect it 'as , On them young folk who love^ th« jazz An' pettin'- parties after dances . (What bring about some queen romances),' ■ An' gen'rally are uv that school _ .:; What loves to live life to the fulL What innercence! What minds to set Hevil in naked harterstry! , What key-ole stuff! What tommyrotl If only I could cane the lot! The nex' thing they'll be askings (With tight-clarsped 'ands an longdrawn phiz) To 'aye nood models stric'ly banned From our art schools throughout thf Becos?dear, such would lead astray Pure stoodents from the narrer way— In' put thoughts into their.young. WhaTnone uv us would call.refined. Then they'd be down on baby shows Becos the nippers wear nocto*«. An' 'owl-'n'-sprawl, while mother* Beforflhe crowd, without a blush, ■ Jest shameless 'ussies in^the> makm . .< Blarst'em! More tea. Me. thirst neean slaking # BRAIN-TEASER. My Dear Flage (I hope youre thrilled),-This is where I get back totoltae. Years ago I joined your column as "Dancing-Mamma," and St got a look in when the family received marching orders^om South Wairarapa to North, and I had to fall out" of line again. You see, no one sold "The Post" in this town, as it could not be obtained same day as printed. However, we now have same, day service per rail-car, and to my ae- ;: light I can now get first-hand news ' dear old Column 8, instead of tnppn-j down twice a week to see back numbers of "The Post" in the public library. When do you print the answer to the teaser? Am so anxious to see it. I've been "had" before, and . I smell a rat. Once I had the same question put to me, but the Problem ahead of it made one work out how many people arrived at the terminus of a train doing a 100-mile run, after setting out with only a dozen, with great numbers "changing" at stations on the way Well, after all the arithmetic, the 'answer was: Driver's- name is Of course everyone s question, then is: "Why?" And the answer is "Because his father's name is •" Now, is this one a joke, too? Confess now. I suggest the answer's a lemon. (Anyhow, he who works it out sure)' Yours till we shift again, Or the rail-cars cease, "PEACEFUL." Welcome back to the fold. There is no "catch" in the teaser, which you have worked out correctly. Ther&3lls something '"ffCT>£PfcfD- M" rH?3r $8*