POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXII, Issue 71, 21 September 1936, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

By Percy Flack.

It is said that only half you hear is true, but the trouble is that you don't know which half to believe. » * * It is things like the Versailles Treaty which make a , League of Nations necessary—and almost impracticable. Cupid is v.'orking overtime1 in Australia, as in New Zealand, but th« storks are strictly observing the 40----hour week. . «■ # «■ ■': ' ■ "Sez Me": , One of the miraculous achievements of advertising is the simple faith of nearly any woman under 40 that she looks like Venus in a one-piece bathing suit. • • ~*' • .i ~..:• ■ • Publicity.—Suggested title for Centennial publicity booklet: "1840-1940,'* or "From Savage to Savage." CHANTICLEERr • • * making ends meet. I append another solution to a different brain-teaser—that of making ends meet (from a financial point of view). Mrs. 'Uggins, of Waipukamukau, informs me that it costs her nothing for blacklead to clean her range: she simply digs lumbago out ol the 'ills. Yours sincerely, : ■. ' MRS. MICAWBER. » » # ■■.-"■ POTTED POMES. , ; " :' "Naughty Flage."—Those , thing* happen occasionally ■in the best or newspaper offices. The lines (per G.W.) run as follows:— How odd Of God To choose The Jews. Man sneeze , Hat —Breeze Hat soar Man swore Start run Much fun People stare "Funny hair!" ' Hat swoop Make loop • Man grab Call cab. That's all. \ ! G. CHAMBERS. ♦ • ■'. > •. ' . . . THEY COME OFF—SOMETIMES. In the instance of a field of seven starters and six scribes having tipped a different horse each—the seventh horse winning—Admiral Rous remark* ed "there,is always room for another tipster." Your column appears to be donning the mantle. Last week, a day or two before the races at Wanganui, a prominent headline in "The Post" about a wild chase decided me to throw in for a good win. However, ther« was nothing doing, but the following— ■ ' Wind blows. Hat goes, ' \ .; Miss tram, Hearty damn! TERRY. in Postscripts of the 16th proved reliable for Foxton on Saturday—quite outstanding, as printed. Anyway it is a cute method of circumventing the regulations, and it is hoped Maine did not miss the bus! ■''■■■ ; ■ •■'■■ Yours', etc., . •; •■ •-■".- ■' K. Khandallati. "■*' ! • , « '.:■ • OUR TUI. Our first spring tui reached The Gleri on Saturday afternoon, obviously happy to be back again. Early on the Sabbath he was at his matins,; fluting away, and occasionally breaking into the melody with a dry noise that indicated a clearing of his throat. Those preliminaries . over, he plunged from the Botanic Garden next door into our largest kowhai, whose bells are particularly large and honeyful. From our front porch we watched, him, only thirty feet away, break-. fasting sumptuously and almost ravenously, chuckling to himself at intervals —probably at those little green bird things wjvo, for the moment, had deserted ' the widespread flowering cherry, which stretches out long and longer arms to touch the kowhai. .The birdlings following the tui among the branches reminded us of those small boys who trail assiduously Test cricketers in order to bask in their heroes* refulgence. But the tui made no sign of recognition. For all practical purposes he had that tree (and others handy) to himself, and made the most of the monopoly. All day' he spent between the kowhais and the adjoin* ing native bush, carolling between meals, so to say. A gay caballero. Presently we hope to entertain the two or three bellbirds who annually look us up towards the year-end and bring the odours and. atmosphere of the Orongorongos to The Glen on golden afternoons. If and when they do come we shall let you know. .■■*■'*■'. ».. ~ INVITATION. Dear Percy Flage,— .■••'. I'm much relieved ' ■'. To see that you from Mame receive^ A screed, anent our recent binge, That has an approbative tinge (Her last week's silence had m» licked— I didn't know if I had clicked). I now renew my invitation To modest vespertine collation For you and Mame and also Bill, . While I the role of host shall fill. (The time and place I'll later 'phone— They shall, not publicly be known). To me a friend his cellar offers, Its casks and kegs and bins and coffers, And so, unless he, base, recants, Our eats won't lack concomitants. And now, dear Flage, I fain would say It surely was my lucky day • When I met up with Bill and Mame. They are my friends; I here proclaims Their worth, from affectation free, • And truest hospitality. HEMI PANGO. * • ■ •' ■■ . INQUIRY DEPARTMENT. "Northland Mrs."—Now that Princess Alexandrine, of Denmark, is affianced to a German count, there remain only six eligible Princesses in Europe. They are Princess Cecilie, of Hohenzollern; Princess Kyra, of Russia; Princess Juliana, of Holland; and the Princesses Eugenic, Irene, and Katherine, of Greece. By the way, Alexandrine is said to be an expert bookbinder. When her father decided that each of his five children must learn a trade, Alexandrine chose bookbinding. She is also a qualified infant nurse, trained at a hospital which her mother established for babies of the poor. John Roby.—The phrase, "'Tis the pace that kills," is to be found in Adam Lindsay Gordon's "Ye Wearie Wayfarer" (fytte iv).:— All hurry is worse than useless; think On the adage " 'Tis pace that kills"; Shun bad tobacco, avoid strong drink, Abstain from Holloway's pills, Wear woollen socks; they're best you'll find;. . Beware how you leave off flannel: But whatever you do, don't change your mind ' •.'.-.'. When once you have picked your , paneL