POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXII, Issue 25, 29 July 1936, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

By Percy Flxge.

It is almost inevitably the case that when there is a world shortage of wheat the bread-lines grow longer and longer.

Probably Professor Piccard left Spain so hurriedly because he preferred his own way of soaring through the stratosphere.

"Inquirer."—We are reliably informed that Mr. Goodfellow hurried off to England several months ago, not on a pleasure jaunt, and is expected to return early in August.

News note: "The Indian merchant prince who offers £25,000 for an insomnia cure receives over 200 letters a day." Now his secretary has insomnia.

CUTS BOTH WAYS.

Johnny: Hey, dad, kids at our school got a hang of a hiding today Dad: Why? , Johnny: "Pop" said he was just fstoring cur cuts.

BINDY.

COURT SHORTS. (From' English sources.)

Wife: I was too petrified to pause for a breath, lest my husband should get a word in.

Husband: I refused point-blank to desert my wife, consequently she has summoned me here for breach of promise. Witness: Each knock at the door sen* my friend scrambling to bed for an indefinite period, for his wife was in. the immediate vicinity, and'she wanted money. . Man: He described the dinner his wife had cooked him so vividly that I at once gave him a chunk of bread to be getting on with. BRAIN-TEASER. Saturday's intelligence test has not exactly set the town alight; so far, ten solutions have arrived by mail and five per phone. Three of these were incorrect* The successful solvers so far are: "Scotty Morris" (who wants to know "if that bloke lives in Jerusalem"), "W.N.P.N.H." (Palmerston North) —he found it a difficult problem—"The Knave" (thanks for that one, which is new to us), "Emily Jane" (a first effort), "Peter Piper," "Anon.," R.S. (Karori), "Just Me," Allen James, "Jones's Nephew," Alice Spring ("My, grey matter is developing muscles"), and "Extra Special" (who wants to know where all these teasers are coming from, the which, of course, is a dark secret). Further problems are acknowledged with thanks from Clarrie Butt and T.S.T. INFORMATION BUREAU. J. B. Stone.—The world's record for a high jump from a standing start is sft 6in. The holder is Harold M. Osborn, who won the Olynipic high jump some years ago. The new figures were set up during the last St. Louis Relay championships. The previous record (adds our correspondent) was sft s|in, also established by an American, Leo Goerring, in 1913. "Regular Reader."—Subscriptions to the Irish Hospital sweepstakes totalled about £12,000,000 last year. Of that sum America accounted for £1,327,000. "Havering."—A vice-Admiral takes precedence over a Rear-Admiral. Over the Vice-Admiral is, first, the Admiral of the Fleet, and then comes the Admiral. After the Rear-Admiral the Commodore is next in rank, followed by the Captain, and then the Commander. • « • A MATTER OF DEGREE. Dear Flage,—While the torchbearers are- speeding on to the Xlth Olympiad, I find some little time to read of the. Spanish situation. I learn of the turmoil and bloodshed and casting the eye further down the cabled news, I was gratified to find that "TBranquillity prevails in the Canary Islands." This ■ intimation has moved me so far as to reach the stage of verse. Perpend: The poet Keats once spoke of "sweet unrest," . • Which means in modern times th« first degree Of calmness, quietness, blissfulness, repose, And now is written just "T-l-ran- * quillity." And so it pleaseth me to make it known That those who draw the wage or salary Are neither pleased as Punch nor glad— They're simply in the state "T-4-ran-quillity." And while a civil war is cleaving' Spain In two, and death is camped on many trails, The caged Canary Islanders are lu^d To gentle rest —"T-8-ranquillity prevails!" WINSH. WILL LARWOOD COME? News of the fact that the M.C.C. has selected seven men for the side to visit Australia prompts "Secondgrader" to ask whether or not Larwood, who is well up in the county bowling averages, is likely to be chosen". It is not a question that can be answered with any confidence, all we can do is to express an opinion as to the possibilities. Our correspondent raises a point which is interesting Australian cricket circles at the moment. The majority of critics there believe that Larwood has placed himself outside the domain of Test cricket permanently by his impulsive outbursts against both Australia and the M.C.C. after his last visit to the Commonwealth. That, also, is our view. Spurred on by A. W. Carr— who talked (and wrote) like an arrogant schoolboy—and by the tempting bait of big money from a sensation--mongering Sunday paper in London, Larwood lost his head, making rather an ass of himself. Again—it is to be doubted whether Larwood is the Larwood of old . . . whether his aforetime speed, venom, and whip are as hostile as once they were. Express bowlers do not retain their form to the same degree and for the length of time that slow and medium spin bowlers do. Anyhow, Larwood has a foot which is doubtful—the outcome of strain over many years of cricket. On the hard Australian turf he might crack up irreparably. So, looking at the situation from all angles, the inclusion of Larwood in the next English eleven is not a thing to bet on. Talking of this undeniably great bowler in his prime recalls "bumpers," and a story told of a conversation between S. M. J. Woods (ex-Australian allrounder) and Bobby Abel, long after they had dropped out of first-class cricket. "Lor", Mr. Woods," said Abel, "it only seems the other day since you used (o buzz those fast 'uns of yours past my poor old head till I thought I should never sec my wife and children again." "And it only seems the other day, Bobby," said Woods, "since you used lo score your' hundreds oft (hose fast ones." Isn't there a moral here. Or is there? ' •