POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXI, Issue 142, 17 June 1936, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment By Percy Flage. Haile Selassie's heart was in the right place but the League's unfortunately was always in its mouth. # • • Obviously, the quickest way to clear up the mystery surrounding the shooting of Police Inspector Brophy is to let a thriller author handle the case. ♦ * « The chief difference between kiteflying at Rongotai and in and about Parliament Buildings is that no aeroplanes are interfered with up the street. *. » * Some mornings we leap from bed as happy as Mr. Savage's prosperity-for-all prospectus only to tumble in at night feeling like the member for Mataura's opinion on the Opposition. ■» « * IMPASSE FOR FREDDY. Dear Flage,—l think that the follow* ing story, which is true and is on record on one of our files, is worth a place in Column 8. The report of one of our bright inquiry officers who was sent out to investigate the case of a family who were reported to be in necessitious circumstances ■ contained the following gem:—"The son Frederick is chopping a little .wood, but so far he hasn't succeeded in selling any because he has no money to buy any wood to chop." Yours, etc., LYBWAWIAN. | * * * BRAIN-TEASER. Please Mr. Flage,—My grandfather, who is a very old gentleman indeed, wants to know if this, 51, is the right number of coconuts] Grandfather says that-when he was a little boy the problem was about an old lady-who set out to market with a basket of eggs, and at the first house she sold half her eggs, and half an egg besides, and when ; she left the fourth house she had none left. However, it being such a long time ago, and grandad being such a very, very old gentleman, I think that he may possibly have the facts of the problem wrong, especially because when I suggested that it was a messy way to sell eggs, grandad said that the old lady didn't break any eggs. I don't care to argue with the old dear, and really he has been looking very much older lately. I think dad blames the Government speeches. NANCY. Along with Nancy and others, G.H., "Wharfie," "Paparangi Pete," "Coco-nut-balmy," "Cameraman," and two anons who 'phoned their answers scored full marks. * * * INFORMATION DEPARTMENT. In reply to "Miss Inquisitive": Stanley Baldwin gave a fifth—not . onehalf—of his fortune to his country. It was a post-war gesture of a well-to-do patriot who thought that the rich ought to make an example of sacrifice. Mr. Baldwin wrote ■? to "The Times": "I have been considering this matter for nearly two years, but my mind moves slowly; I dislike publicity, and I hoped someone else might lead the way. I have made as accurate [ an estimate as I am able of the value of my own estate, and have arrived at a total of about £580,000. I have decided to realise about 20 per of that amount, or, say," £120,000, " which will purchase £150,000 of the new War Loan, and present it to the Govern- [ ment for cancellation. I give this portion of my estate as a thank offering in the firm conviction that neyer again shall we have such a chance of giving our country that form of help which is so vital at the present time.". He signed himself "F;S.T.," which, meant "Financial Secretary to the Treasury.'; Only later did it coma out . who "F.S.T." was. * * ♦ WELLINGTON. (By a Prosaic Pessimist.) I bought an extra hat along, And fixed it with a tether; And blest if then they didn't have 1 The calmest kind o' weather! Some fog, of course; the sort o' thing Plays havoc with their shipping. The way some boats arrive and. goWell, it is "simply ripping." I walked along the waterfront, And heard the seabirds miauling; They smash their shellfish on th# street, A thing that sets me scowling. (There is no space against the cliffs For any garden tillage; The houses hang on by their teeth, In this old fishing village. The girls?—oh, well, they step along, I will admit they're nimble; They're trained by chasing of their hats, If they can't use a thimble. When this place by the Japanese Is held, they may improve it; For when they see a lot of dirt, Those blighters always move it. A. Conscience-stricken after having written this, A. repents and decks the city's brow with a garland of fragrant words. Unfortunately -we cannot make room for them today. * * ♦ POSTED .. . MISSING. E.R. —"The dog could get halfway into the bush." Then he would start on the way out. Wei l , have you tried the coconut one? . "Bullet."—"About tiow much are 1914 pennies worth each?" Exactly one penny. W.M.—See reply to "Bullet. 1014 pennies are worth in the aggregate £7 19s 6d, as you will find if you figure it out for yourself. You could not have read our original par carefully. "Marlene."—Those problems are, we are afraid, too well known. Thank you, all the same. Your kind references to this feature are appreciated. W.E.T.—Thanks, but we already have that brain-teaser on i«ind. (> "Dabster."—That "John o' London test appeared in Coi. 8 a year or two since. • "Wae."—You hav* the last word— This chappie from payback Taihape, A Taihape mini displays; But I'm quite suit he would not die happy Did he stay there'll his days. G.E.P.—Here's th» first stanza—your best one— Long, long ago. hiswiyfls say Summer once visited island Bay! _ I wonder why, in thai dim dead past, When everything waJ made to last, They didn't begin on Summer Time: Making it change-prooT true-to-time— A season supernally sublime! "Tempus Fugit."—lf you want a rhyme, good, bad, or indifferent, returned, it is usual to send along the customary penny stamp. "Eye Wash."—Too muih Was and too little wit in that par. C.T. (Masterton).—No prizes are offered for first-in solutions of fcfainteasers. Wait till Utopia arrives! "O.L."—(1) A genuine tribute, but what we really, are aftar are persiflageous rhymes of the iort —an ode, say, to Kaiwaxra. (2) Solution correct. (3) May use that one later on, though it is an oldish one. - "John Sudden, Etc."—Good in spots, like the curate's leg—sorry, we mean egg. "Merriman."—"l Listened-in To Parliament" is true to life, but too brutally frank.