BATTLES-BOTTLES

Evening Post, Volume CXXI, Issue 104, 4 May 1936, Page 6

BATTLES-BOTTLES

CAPPICADE CHAMPAGNE

810-CHEMICAL CULTURE '

A dislike of battles and a fondness for bottles together provide the keynote of this year's "Cappicade" ('Varsity revue) at,. the Grand Opera House. The students leap into the future in order to put on the stage the bottle-born people of the n-th century—a bio-chemical people who are made by some protoplasmic process other than that introduced by Adam and Eve, and who, after this chemical creation. ar e nurtured through the empi'yon'c stage in a decanting room at the New Zealand branch of the World Federation hatchery. The hatchery has abolished matchery, as the opening chorus explains— Without us being mated Life is chemically created. Within these row of jars Our citizens are bottled Without the aid of pas Whose usefulness we've throttled. Weve made an innovation; ■ We regulate creation. We'll give you some instruction In human mass production. We want a diagnosis Of this astounding process: Decanting, fertilising, And utterly surprising. The bottle-born people, maid and man, who are busy in the decanting room decanting the embryonic generation, nave their peace of mind destroyed when a host of present-day, womanbom people march in on them. These invaders from another age (our age) include certain of our politicians (among whom may be detected the Leader and the Deputy Leader of the Opposition, the Prime Minister, the Finance Minister, and the Minister . for Running Shoes), and some figures outside Parliament, among whom are a lady candidate who loves trees (distinguished from the others as "the nonpolitical candidate") and a third party leader, Mr. Diddflop. Three Communists, a woman and two men, one armed with a bomb, form the Left Wing of the invaders; and .the bottle-born people naturallyibecome suspicious." At once the serpent reveals itself, for the invaders begin to tell • the ' bbttle-born girls about the long effete institution, marriage, and the simple decanting room girls listen to these wicked politicians. Even daughters of the test tube cannot help feeling interest in Some honeymoon procedure In a car—in a car. Soon another mouth to feed—you're A papa—a papa! First its frightfully romantic, Little pet, little pet! Then a creditor grows frantic For his. debt—for his debt! Not only do the invaders try to seduce the bottle-born girls into ■ marriage— an ■ archaic abomination!—but also bring into the decanting room a lot of political xant, and .they try to start there a Parliament, and a limited company to balance the Budget. Most of the political singing is put in the mouths of the gentlemen who now are in Opposition, but it seems that both the New Zealand political parties could put this, .'feather in their cap: When we have nothing else to do We try creating, a bank or two; ; And people fume and often shout '•More money comes in than ever goes out." , •;.. I don't mind that; it quite suits me; For we are the children of Democracy. Eventually the bottle-born people slay the invaders and, thus retain their bio. chemical, marriageless culture; but they spare Bernard Shaw and the tree-, loving, non-political lady candidate,' who has previously distinguished herself by killing the three Communists with an arrow which she had aimed at Mr. Diddflop. It can be said, without reservation, that the death of the three Communists was a distinct loss, because they were one of the dramatic gems of the performance. Their bomb ligured cheerfully in a lively trio, and the three performers were brilliantly supported by a picturesque ballet of Red-garmented girls who' posed backstage and threw bombs galore. Somewhat late in the story let it be mentioned that the name of this extravaganza is "Brave New Zealand" (a parody on Huxley) and that it was preceded by a twilight scene in the Garden of Eden, which might have been intended to represent Adam and Eve robbing an apple tree, but the manipulator of the lighting skilfully prevented any verification of that surmise. All the many performers in "Brave New Zealand" spoke or sang their lines (except a few forgotten ones) quite well, the girls were, nicely costumed, and Miss Beryl Ball and the ballet ■ were particularly, good. The scene-writer (Mr. R. L., Meek), the producer (Mr. W. J. Mountjoy), and the ballet genius (Miss Cora Duncan) are all to be congratulated.

True to the modern university principle that ' bottles are cheaper than battles, some anonymous tragedian wrote "Hell's Bells," the leading figure of which is a dictator who seems to combine the worst points of both the European dictators. Mr. A. H. Scotney played this part, and his lieutenant was played by Mr. Martin Liddle,. a disagreeable tyrant with a most agreeable voice. They declare war, in the interests of women, on a savage race, that ..has . cornered the chemicals out/of which carmine lips and complexions are made. This is how the students, mangle "Land of Hope and Glory":- ■ .■•■•.-•'..

Lord of guns and ,glory, bomb-bestow-ing Mars.Rain them .on our fQemen, blow them • to the stars! : ; To their grand destruction may no bounds, be set! ■ : ' Thouwho slaughtered millions, slaughter millions yet. . - The sanguinary dictators pursue their, relentless course and establish, a good case for the League of Nations. But "Hell's Bells" are not all strident. There is a group of belles who carry out a very stately morning tea ceremony, just as it is done .in the Civil Service. If so,~mornirrg tea/in the C.S. must be nearly as wonderful as trooping the Colour. It .is. stvictly laid down in "Hell's Bells" that a- civil servant is not expected to do anything except drink tea. "Then, sir," says the young cadet, "I am expected to do nothing." "You are not allowed even to do that," retorts his superior. Besides "Brave New Zealand" and "Hell's Balls," the "Cappicade" includes something in between, called 'Intermission in Eternity." Next to the female ballet the most wonderful thing in student-land is the male ballet, and it is particularly brilliant in this "Intermission." ■ This is also a rej markable boy-girl who poses as a demiImondaine "heading for Hades." Many of the dances, songs, and choruses are of high merit. Some are to music of original composition; in other cases favourite airs have been commandeered. A dance by several males in evening dress was lifted well out of the ruck by a tap-dance by one of them; and this, along with various other "turns," won an imperative encore from the large audience that braved Saturday night's weather and filled most of the Grand Opera House with happy faces. The performance will be repeated this evening and tomorrow evening, and those who like a tuneful, pointed burlesque with good dancing and dressing and an excellent orchestra should not miss this year's "Cappicade."